“What in our names is wrong with you, Epani?” Sini screeched as Epani threw the unconscious body of the Thantophor into a plastic box, then sealed it shut.
“He is corrupted. We must prepare for incineration and recreation.”
Sini crossed her arms in frustration. “Did you not read the messages I sent you? He can be fixed! We just need to follow protoco-”
“No. We must-”
“Epani!” Sini didn’t like shouting over the elder deity, but the way she was acting was making no sense. “We have a plan. We have to follow the plan. Incineration and recreation are, like, the last ditch thing we do if nothing else works! And we’re making matters worse by weakening Arkay! He can’t fight the corruption as effectively if you make him weak!”
The Panelix turned to the plastic container. Arkay had woken up and had started coughing. Perhaps thankfully, the box was soundproof, meaning he couldn’t hear the discussion Epani and Sini were having.
“He is corrupted. It is too dangerous to try and fix him.”
“He’s already fighting the corruption, it’s just taking longer than normal. Plus, we can’t just get rid of Arkay! Who else is going to be a death god in his place?”
“I have a list. A short list, but a list. I have already made a call.”
Sini took a long, drawn out breath. “Epani, listen. We can’t just go and make someone else into a death god. They’ll be too unstable, too uncontrollable and completely prone to corruption because they don’t have the long-term resistances we have. I know you have some weird problem with Arkay because of what you tricked him into doing during the Before and we both know how powerful he can be when he’s not being dampened, but we put a lot of work into making him into our little docile decay deity, and I’m not going to have you ruin that because you want to start fresh again. We can fix this. We WILL fix this.”
“Start fixing it then.”
The Allbirther sighed again, looking back at the box. With a snap of her fingers, she summoned a small speaker. Inside the box, a similar speaker appeared.
“Arkay, can you hear me?”
“Why the fuck is Epani being such a bitch?” the voice on the other end crackled. Arkay was clearly rather annoyed, understandably so. “What did I do to deserve that?”
“You got corrupted, you fool!” Epani snapped back.
“Yeah, like you haven’t ever had this happen to you!” Arkay hissed. “Just because I’m ill, doesn’t mean you have to treat me poorly!”
Epani turned back to Sini, not bothering with a reply. “So what is the first step in these protocols? The sooner we get through them, the better.”
“No apology then, Epani?”
“No. Not until this whole scenario is over.”
Sini gave Epani a funny look, then sighed some more. “Unfortunately, Arkay, these steps are not… the nicest. Normally, what we’d do is just cut off the infected body part, but your infected body part is inside your body. Now, while I could just cut you open and rip out your throat and lungs, I don’t really want to put you through too much suffering. The problem is, well, I’m going to have to, uh, drown you.”
“D-drown me?”
“Yes. Your blood is capable of killing corruption, but since the corruption is in a place where your blood isn’t, we need to get your blood in the right place via unnatural means. And the best way to do that is to, uh, drown you in your own blood. In the safest way possible, by closing your trachea and forcing a pipe into your mouth, rather than literally drowning you.”
Arkay sat himself up inside the plastic cage, looking confused. “That doesn’t… make mush sense. And where are we going to get vast quantities of my blood anyway? I know we’re gods and we bleed far more than most, but…”
“I already have a large supply of your blood.”
“… How and why?” Both Epani and Arkay seemed uneasy at Sini’s reply.
“Uh, I keep large amounts in case we ever need blood transfusions!” Sini’s response was only partially truthful. “But don’t worry, I’ll be diluting it a bit anyway. With some…”
Arkay tapped the little speaker, for some reason, Sini’s voice had disappeared briefly, he didn’t catch that last bit.
“With some what, Sini?”
“Acid.”
“Not… water?”
“Water isn’t going to do anything to corruption.”
“Are you sure this isn’t some sort of sick excuse to torture me or something?” Arkay asked hesitantly. “Because it kinda sounds like that.”
“Not at all!” Sini protested, raising her hands up in as non-threateningly a way as possible. “If it was me or Epani in your place, we’d be trying the same things! Because corruption in the lungs is kinda weird.”
The Thantophor hesitated some more, then seemed to relent. “Alright, fine. I just want this over with.”
“It’s alright, you’ll be fine!”
Sini smiled uneasily, as she swished her hand, causing the plastic cage to lift into the air. It followed behind Sini as she left the room, heading down to one of Sini’s operation theatres. As she walked, Epani followed, almost eagerly. Both Sini and Arkay picked up on Epani’s weird mood. Not wanting to cause Arkay to worry further, Sini muted the speaker and turned to Epani.
“What is with you?”
“I am interested. Curious even.”
“You just wanted to incinerate him.”
“Does not mean that I am curious as to what all of this entails.”
Sini tutted, then entered another room, this one full of machinery and tubing. On the other side of the room was some sort of observation deck, with a glass panel separating it from the rest of the room.
“If you are going to stick around, Epani, I insist you step back.”
Epani nodded, and made her way to the observation deck, pulling a door shut behind her. The Allbirther tutted again, then snapped her fingers. A mask and pair of long, rubber gloves materialized out of thin air, which she dutifully put on, before turning her attention back to the box. Tapping on the top of it, the plastic container opened up, giving Arkay some space.
“Is this going to hurt?”
“Yeah.”
“Great.”
“I give you some painkillers and sedatives. Can’t knock you out properly, the last thing you want is to wake up mid-surgery with your rapid metabolism, but at the very least I can numb the pain.”
“Please do.”
Arkay was clearly feeling sorry for himself. Sini felt sorry for him too. She knew what was about to happen. The Allbirther then strapped Arkay to the table so he wouldn’t move too much, before swiftly injecting him with a vial of pink liquid. The Thantophor’s eyes slowly closed, and Sini mentally prepared herself for what she had to do next.