“You’re struggling.”
Phovoula tried to sigh to herself, but couldn’t actually exhale. Or inhale. Currently, Phovoula was standing in front of a mirror in the public bathroom and shower room, staring at her reflection.
“I am, yes.”
With an odd click, Phovoula turned to see who was talking to her. It was Phovos, Phovoula’s old-universe counterpart. Except Phovos was a Life Goddess and Phovoula was a Voidborn. Complete opposites. At least until both of them shifted back into their more natural forms.
“Do you want some help?”
“No, thank you.”
Phovos inspected Phovoula some more. “Are you sure? You seem stupidly uneasy, and I noticed you’ve kinda been avoiding everyone.”
“I spoke to Nyssi. She said that it’s fine to love someone of another gender or species. But that doesn’t feel right to me. It’s not that you’re a Ksithan like me, or that we’re both female. Or that we are essentially the same person, somewhat.”
“Well, we’re not the same person. Or really the same species. We both lived different lives.”
Phovoula tutted. “That’s not what I mean. You’re a Life Goddess. The purest of pure.”
“Hah!” Phovos snorted. “That’s not fucking true in the slightest.”
“How comes?”
Phovos paused, then shrugged. She waved her left hand and formed a small portal. On the other side was Phovos’s personal bedroom. “Come with me, and I’ll explain.”
“Alright…” Phovoula glanced into the mirror one last time, then followed Phovos through the portal. It snapped shut behind her.
Phovos led Phovoula to the bed and sat her down. then pulled the curtains to her window shut and joined Phovoula on the bed.
“I feel like a relationship between us is bad…” Phovoula immediately admitted. “It’s wrong. Immoral, for reasons I don’t quite comprehend. So I have… been avoiding you a bit. Or rather, a lot.”
“I did notice, but I’ve been giving you space, since you’re clearly stressed…” Phovos thought for a moment. “So, let’s try and break this down a bit. Have you met any other Life Goddesses? Up close and personal?”
“Yes. two of them. Allbirther Sini and Panelix Epani. I find it weird that you are somehow related to them.”
“And what did you think of them?”
“That… that Epani wasn’t very nice, and Sini hid all her true emotions underneath an aura of positivity.”
“And did you ever consider them to be pure?”
Phovoula thought somewhat. “They are literal gods, they are above me.”
“And… and Arkay isn’t? Do you consider him to be pure?” Phovos asked.
More thoughts. “That… is different.”
“How comes?”
“He is… was… the Great Recycler, the Death Wolf. He did dark duties so the Life Serpent and the Space Whale could do their own work.”
“And what about Kairos?”
“Same as Arkay. Except more of a pretentious asshole.”
Phovos shrugged. “In all honesty? You seem like you’re stuck in the past. Because Epani and Sini are not pure in the slightest, they are both monstrous beings. From what the other Decaylings have said, Epani in particular was a massive asshole.”
Phovoula frowned. “You are not like them though. You’re pure and perfect.”
“Well, that’s the thing, isn’t it?” Phovos smiled. “You think I’m pure, I really am not pure in the slightest. You’ve met three different Life Goddesses, and while I’m not as awful as Epani or Sini, and I’m definitely not as awful as Kinisis was, I still somewhat have that cruel, manipulative side, and I’ve killed a LOT of people.”
“I can’t ever watch the blood off my hands…” Phovoula muttered. “I have killed-”
“You do realize that Arkay, the god of death, is on guard duty right now, yes? He’s killed untold trillions. Most of the Thantir have blood on their hands. But, more importantly, I have killed a lot as well. I mean, my codename is Lifetaker.”
“That is fair, but I feel like we are opposites. I’m a Voidborn now. There’s nothing good about me.”
“That’s a lie and you know it!” Phovos exclaimed. “While yes, sure, a lot of Voidborns are assholes, but there’s good Voidborns too, like you. And at the same time, there’s fucktons of Life Goddesses out there, and most of them are assholes too. You just can’t see it quite yet because you have only met Epani and Sini, who aren’t complete assholes, and you’re talking to me, someone who is a bit of an asshole.”
Phovoula didn’t reply at first. Phovos though suddenly thought of something new.
“But also… I guess you wouldn’t know because Arkay was your universe’s main guardian, but… it’s actually pretty common for a Life Goddess to find a Voidborn she likes and keep them as a partner. The universe I was born in, Kinisis had a Voidborn partner called Kenon.”
Phovoula suddenly looked up. “Were Kinisis and Kenon the Demon Rat and the Void Deer? Two monsters that the Death Wolf killed, so that the Space Whale and the Life Serpent could build a universe on the Demon Rat’s ashes?”
“Uh, kinda, yeah… That wasn’t the point I was trying to make though. My point is, there’s nothing wrong with us having feelings for each other, because Life Goddesses take Voidborns as their partners on the regular. Not just as guardians or friends, but sometimes as romantic partners as well…” Phovos trailed off slightly, then sighed and faced Phovoula properly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be blunt though… some Life Goddesses get… uh… toxic. They enslave their Voidborn partners. But I promise you, I won’t ever do that to you. We can be partners if you want. We can be friends if you want. But I will always, always treat you as an equal. No matter what.”
“Really?”
“Of course. You and I, we’re definitely strange, and we definitely don’t fit. That’s fine though. Because we are better, kinder people. I’ll support you, you’ll support me. Right?”
Phovoula nodded. “Yes, definitely… I’ll be honest, this talk has helped. My moral compass has been… off lately. First worrying about homosexuality, then cross-species romance, and now my being a Voidborn and you being a Life Goddess. It’s… it’s my old, ignorant ways.”
“It’s not ignorance. This is all new to you, everything’s completely different and you’re shell-shocked. More so than everyone else. But, you know what? After you’ve done your Decay Lord Trial, once you’re genuinely and officially both a Voidborn and a Decayon, I think you’ll feel better. I did.”
“Really?”
“Mhm.”
Phovoula closed her eyes and thought to herself again, before opening them once more. “I do like you. I like you a lot.”
“And I like you too!” Phovos smiled.
“After this stupid trial, can we get back together?”
Phovos nodded. “Sure. But we could also get back together right now. Nothing’s really stopping us. Do you want to get back together now?”
Finally, Phovoula smiled too. “Yes, yes I do…”