“WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU TWO? YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK!”
The average temperature in the main canteen of the Shimmering Blade was normally a comfortable 290K, but right now, everything was very quickly heating up, and the Flames of the Phantai were struggling to stop the temperature from rising. However, as Itaviir and Galyn, two former members of the Phantai, had abruptly reappeared in the middle of the canteen, covered in pink goo and gold glitter, things were slowly calming down.
“Oh, uh, hello, dear…” Galyn muttered as he wiped slime from his face. “Is everything alright, Vikalos?”
The third member of the Tattered Navigators looked incredibly stressed, and, unlike Galyn and Itaviir, he was both not a Beh’evok and not covered in glitter. Vikalos was also incredibly angry, and in a very visual manner. Normally, the ancient hell lord didn’t show his fiery elemental affinity, but right now, the fur that ran across his body had been replaced with flickering flames.
“YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING FOR 30 HOURS! I COULD NOT FIND YOU! WHERE WERE YOU?”
Vikalos stomped towards his partners, and the flames slowly turned back into fur. It took Vikalos a moment to calm down. While the Phantai knew Itaviir and Galyn well, Vikalos was a complete stranger to most of them, even more so than the much younger members of the Thantir. And none of them knew how much power Vikalos potentially held.
Thankfully, someone had an answer, but that answer didn’t come from either of the other Tattered Navigators.
“Oh. The Beh’ena are back!” Sunblade, a fellow Flame and former fire deity, clapped his hands together with glee. “And they… chose the two traitors to… be their first Dosai…”
“I only understood some of those words…” Retvik muttered as he finished lowering the temperature in the canteen to something less painful. While Retvik was often considered to be a Flame as well, he was never a god of fire or anything fire-related. “Galyn, Itaviir, are you both well? Vikalos told us you disappeared from Galyn’s personal quarters, Litvir and Eksi couldn’t telepathically find you and Elksia’s time powers failed us completely.”
“Yeah, uh, you guys kinda completely vanished!” Eksi chirped, sweating quite badly. He’d been following Vikalos around, silently stopping him from murdering anyone and keeping him vaguely sane.
The two elder Thantir didn’t answer at first. Itaviir picked himself up off the floor, then helped Galyn to his feet, before wondering where he could wipe down his hands. Thankfully, Psehon, better known as Soulblade, one of the leaders of the Phantai and an utterly ancient Beh’evok, had arrived, bringing with him a large pile of towels.
“Well, you two are very, very lucky!” Psehon seemed both impressed and slightly annoyed at the same time. “The Crystal Doom disappear and immediately the Beh’ena come back and pick out new mates. I take it you both had a good time in the Deep Warm, yes? And I very much hope you said yes to the Beh’ena’s offers?”
Galyn and Itaviir glanced at each other, then nodded. However, Vikalos was starting to get angry again. He snatched several towels from Psehon and threw them at his partners.
“Fucking tell me where you went!” Vikalos snarled. “You vanished. Disappeared. And you scared me!”
Itaviir wiped down his arms, then put a hand on Vikalos’s shoulder, being careful not to get slime or glitter on his fur. Itaviir was smiling, which, to Retvik, seemed rather worrisome. Itaviir rarely smiled unless something genuinely good or violent had happened.
“The Beh’evok are no longer an extinct species. The Beh’ena, came out of hiding, and chose us Beh’enu as the first to lay with them and produce new baby Beh’enle. Mostly as a thank you for ending the Phantai’s war.”
“Wait, you are going to be fathers?” Retvik asked, utterly confused.
Itaviir nodded.
“And… you are not going to stick around and raise them?”
“Beh’enu do not raise kids!” Psehon decided to explain a little better, since both Retvik and Vikalos weren’t Beh’evok, and he had realized they had no idea how Beh’evok worked. “The Beh’ena, the females of our race, they tend to stalk Beh’enu, male Beh’evok, that have the traits the Beh’ena desire, then kidnap them, sleep with them then produce up to ten babies at a time, which they raise in special automated nurseries. It is quite an honour to be chosen as a Dosai, a donor, to produce heirs.”
Retvik blinked several times, not really sure how to respond. “That… is fucking stupid.”
Sunblade simply shrugged. “That is just our way. It has been a very long time since a Beh’enu was taken though, and many of us believed the Beh’ena were gone forever. Flamebearer, what are the females of your species like?”
Retvik continued to blink, again, not really sure how to respond, but also uncertain about what tone to use. Psehon picked up on Retvik’s mess of emotions and tutted.
“Sunblade, that is a very rude question to ask, especially as Retvik’s species is sadly as extinct as Vikalos’s ancient race.”
“I did not… have a race though?” Psehon’s assumption had briefly stopped Vikalos from being angry. “I have always been a singular being. There are no other beings like me, I never had a child-like form and I gave myself various body parts when I became a Decayling and I met my future darlings because I wanted to be more like them…” Vikalos trailed off and turned his attention back to his partners. “So you two are both not only fertile but capable of producing kids? And you never told me? And now you are going to have kids with a random whore that kidnapped you both?”
“All ten random whores…” Galyn muttered. “We, uh, just brought our species back from potential extinction.”
Vikalos put his arms on his hips. “Alright, fine. But I want to see the kids. And I want to name one. In fact I want to raise some of your kids. I had no idea that kids were even on the table, and now I want some.”
“You don’t seem the sort to want kids, Lord Firestorm!” Sunblade smiled. “After all, you are a ferocious god of hell or something, right? Also, Flamebearer, you kinda never answered my question about your species’ females. I assume they look like Shocktrooper, since they and Unender are in a relationship, and you and Souldrainer are in a pretty standard gay relationship like most Beh’ens?”
Retvik stared at Sunblade, then sighed. “Both the Rethavok and the Skyavok are intersex.”
“What does that mean?”
“We are both male and female…” Retvik rubbed his head. “Why does everyone always ask me these things?”
Sunblade looked Retvik up and down, opened his mouth to speak, hesitated, then decided to speak anyway. “So, uh, you, uh, wanna… uh, screw around, maybe?”
“Dude, Retvik’s busy fucking Litvir!” Eksi exclaimed. “He ain’t got time for your vagina-lacking ass.”
Retvik snarled, staring at both Sunblade and Eksi. Retvik’s annoyance though was interrupted by Vikalos once again getting angry at his partners. Really, neither Itaviir nor Galyn really knew what to say, and it was clear that they both felt bad.
“I… do not know how or if or… well… I do not know about raising a kid, nor do we know how to actually go back and see the Beh’ena, but, Vikalos, dear, let us make things up to you. Galyn and I did not mean to scare you. We also did not mean to abruptly revitalize the Beh’evok, but there were ten Beh’ena floating around, desperate to sleep with us, it was impossible to say no.”
“So… you have finally warmed up, Itaviir?” Vikalos grunted.
“I have, yes.”
Vikalos sighed, then smiled a little. He grabbed his partners and led them off, taking Itaviir and Galyn to the showers to clean them up.
“And to fuck them!” Eksi beamed, then wondered why he had said that. “Actually, speaking of which, I swear pretty much everyone is fucking everyone now. Right, Psehon?”
Psehon’s focus was still on where the Tattered Navigators had wandered off. He shook his head, then turned to the tiny Master Psion. “You… would be right, Soulsoother. I’m certain that the Crystal Doom, in their bid to weaken us, were doing… something, to make us all cold, not just the lower ranked Phantai. With their influence gone, many of us seem to be making up for lost time…” Psehon paused, then glanced upwards. “I think the Beh’ena just took Phos. We will have to move some things around so any future Dosai are not dumped in the middle of our canteen.”
“Fair enough!” Eksi continued to smile. “Your species is pretty fucked up though. Although I can’t blame ya, you were all designed by a family of psychotic Life Goddesses, right?”
Psehon tutted. “Again, you are right. Please, excuse me, I have some… errant thoughts I must deal with…”
Everyone waited until Psehon had left. Once the coast was clear, Eksi nudged Retvik in the side.
“He totally went off to have a wank. Sunblade’s thinking about the same thing. And you should go and fuck Litvir.”
Retvik closed his eyes and grunted. “Eksi, you really, really need to learn when to shut the fuck up.”
Eksi just shrugged. “Sorry boss, but I can’t help it. There’s just way, way too much pent up sexual tension around here…”