The table was already covered in glasses and bottles, as well as a few starters. Arkay, Vick and Tahnaiious Tenuk had been sitting, chatting and having the occasional drink, waiting for their last buddy to arrive. And they had been waiting for quite a while.
Eventually, metal foot cuffs could be heard scraping against the ground. A rather short Justarian Lord raced towards the table, narrowly avoiding tripping over and hurting themselves.
“You took your sweetass time, Elksia…” Tenuk tutted. “You’re, like, an entire fucking day late.”
“Sorry… things came up…”
“You were literally 31 hours late.”
“Sorry…” Elksia didn’t say much else. She instead sat down in the free seat and sighed.
“It’s that darn dastardly Justarian time again!” Vick tried to ease the tension a little. “Doesn’t compute with the rest of us.”
“Actually, it’s because I was held up by the other Border Lords. Had to settle a dispute and it took way longer than I expected. But I should have, like, let you guys know or something…”
Vick and Arkay both shrugged.
“It’s fine, Elksia!” Vick smiled. “These things happen. We set aside time for this anyway. Anyway, how are you? It’s been… like… ten year-strings? Maybe eleven?”
“TEN?” Tenuk exclaimed. “It’s been like three decades!”
Elksia hesitated before answering, and briefly counted something on her fingers. “It’s been 7 Justarian years for me… which is about 21 normal year-strings…”
“It’s been several billion years for me…” Arkay was about to start complaining, but a thought occurred to him. “Hang on… more time has passed for Elksia than it has for Vick?”
Elksia looked up suddenly. “You… you don’t call yourself Retvik any more?”
Vick shook his head. “Haven’t for a long time. When I joined the Ventra, they said “Retvikalios” is a silly name and shortened it to Vick, doubly so because I had massive memory loss and had no idea what was going on. I got used to it and decided I preferred it, and that was before I met other folks called Retvik.”
Tenuk snorted. “That other Ethran-type Retvik IS hot as fuck though. Actually, I think all Retviks are hot as fuck.”
“It’s been decades and you still want to sleep with me again…”
“Well, yeah. We had one night of unbridled passion when we were stuck two thousand years in the past and we were depressed as fuck, horny and drunk and you were scared you’d never see your partner again. I may not see time like you all do but that night under the stars still feels like it was last week.”
Elksia seemed less impressed. “You two both just squished me. Threesomes suck. Especially ones with size differences. Then again, it’s not like I’ve gotten laid in a while anyway…”
“This is the complete opposite of what I wanted to talk about!” Arkay butted in. “But before I go on with my worrying comment, Elksia, you’re wrong, threesomes are awesome, especially with size differences.”
“You live with other Threan-types though, it’s not the same.”
“I’m legally bound to technically two Ethran-types. Litvir and my Retvik are both too tall to be considered Standard-types, and they’re Rethavok, not Retha, anyway. Also… I have no recollection of you all fucking each other.”
Vick eyed Tenuk briefly, then frowned. “I think it was when we had just been found after our initial time travel backwards.”
“Yeah, pretty much. Arkay, you were out cold, you’d just had your wings amputated,” Tenuk explained. “We were all pretty drunk and fucked up though. And Retvik, you are definitely a caring lover. Would love to do it again one day.”
Vick went back to eyeing Tenuk. “You are still a horny bastard.”
“You didn’t say no.”
“I also didn’t say yes. I have a partner now anyway. As does Arkay.”
Elksia shifted in her seat some more. “It’s weird that you’re all grown up now, Arkay. Settled down with two boyfriends, running a sect, serving the Overlord directly.”
Arkay shrugged. “Well, it hasn’t exactly been easy. I lived through two damn universes and nearly got eaten by Corruption. But yeah, I’m definitely doing better now. I’m happy for once, apart from the permanent gnawing feeling in the back of my skull that something bad is about to happen or has just happened…”
“I think that’s just most important folks these days…” Tenuk rolled his eyes. “There’s always some shit going on.”
“Yeah, definitely, but right now, I’m trying to ignore it so I can spend time with you guys!” Arkay tried to be more perky. “I mean, I’m even drinking alcohol right now. I don’t normally do that.”
“I thought Ksa were allergic to alcohol?” Elksia asked.
“No, we were designed to immediately throw up after consuming alcohol, but I haven’t been a Ksa or even genetically a Threan-type for a long time. But that’s what I want to talk about. Because, like, we all aged differently. Because we experience time differently.”
“Isn’t time just different?”
Arkay shook his head. “No, Elksia, there’s a baseline level of time that runs underneath all the different times we experience. But the thing is, because we have experienced time differently, we’ve all aged weird. Like… Elksia, Vick, you guys were basically the same age when we were mortal, right?”
“Yeah?” Vick wasn’t getting it, but Elksia suddenly did.
“Oh no… I am… technically older than Retvik now?”
“Technically…” Arkay paused again. “Oh. Fuck… I just realised… alright, none of you mention this to my Retvik but…”
“Your Retvik?” Elksia asked.
“Flamebearer Retvik. Husband Retvik rather than Dad Retvik.”
Vick snickered. “I’ll take that nickname. That’s hilarious… But… I guess you’re gonna say that technically Retvik is older than me?”
Arkay nodded. “Yeah. You’re younger than him. But don’t fucking tell him, because Retvik’s belief that you’re him but old and mellow keeps him sane.”
“Fair. I don’t care either way though. I’m just happy that we are all still alive and cool and all that… Anyway!” Vick suddenly changed the subject. “I’m starving. Elksia, you want to get something to eat? It’s on Arkay.”
“Why… why is it on Arkay?”
Arkay smiled and showed off a gold band on his wrist. “I get huge discounts here.”
“Oooh…” Elksia smiled back. “Awesome…”