Ret grunted to himself as the annoyingly attractive old-universe Rethan rang a small bell and collected Ret’s papers. The eight Decaylings had just sat some sort of exam, and Ret was certain he had failed. He’d barely answered anything. He’d also nearly forgotten to write his name down and had spent far too long reading and not understanding the questions. Everyone else seemed to be fine, and pretty much all the other Decaylings had finished and already left. Alright, sure, Talok was still sitting at her desk and Elkay had just taken her exam away too, but Kuta had finished very early on, as did Thassalin and Nyssi, and Kayel and Phovoula had seemed to finish with ease too. Tenuk was the third last to finish, but Ret had seen Elkay collect his test papers about ten minutes ago, and Tenuk seemed to be waiting outside.
“You can leave now, Ret.”
Ret glanced up at Elkay. “I failed that test.”
“You do not know yet, Vikalos has not marked them, and the passing grade on these exams is lower than you would think.”
“I am pretty certain I failed.”
Elkay shrugged. “Again, you do not know. And, in all honesty, if you did, we will work out where you went wrong, you can study on your weaknesses and try again.”
“It is embarrassing…” Ret sighed.
“Not really. Admittedly, I did pass all my Decayling exams with flying colours, but I have always been annoyingly good at tests. The others flubbed their tests on the regular. However, the worst thing that happens is that you need to take the test again. Anyway, you should get up and go outside, stretch your legs a little. And I think Tanos is waiting for you.”
Ret hesitated, frowned, then did as he was told. “It is weird, hearing people call him Tanos. He has always been Tenuk to me.”
“I can see that. But you do not have a problem being called Ret?” Elkay asked. “I think my brother would rather die than have someone shorten his name.”
“Eh… Some of my work-friends used to call me Ret occasionally. And I let my always-friend Nyssi call me Retty so I do not mind too much, nor do I have any problems acknowledging a superior officer. Pretty sure Kyr Retvik was a General in your universe.”
Elkay raised a finger. “Actually… uh… he WAS a General until he… was stripped of his rank for accidentally blowing up a hospital with uncontrollable fire powers, then was promoted back to Captain in the 11th Legion.”
“Huh… What about you and Kyr Litvir?” Ret queried. “Because I still have my Captain’s Insignia and have been hesitant to wear it, even though I am proud of it, because I thought you all outranked me.”
“Litvir was posthumously stripped of his rank of General after he was believed to have been killed. I… I WAS High General, and I was General of the 471st Legion, but the former title was instantly lost after Yisini essentially kidnapped me and tortured me and I was presumed dead. Technically, out of the five of us, Kuta is the highest ranked Rethan here, but I assume you all lose your rank after death as well?”
Ret nodded. “It is possible Kuta and I were moved to the Ghost Legion, if we were considered dead heroes, but that Legion has no captains or generals.”
“I see… We did not have such a legion, once we were dead, we were dead. Hardly anyone mourned the fact that I was gone, even though I modernised a lot of Rethan society…” Elkay tutted. “Anyway, if you want to wear your Insignia, feel free to do so. Litvir still wears his occasionally, because, weirdly, he was picked up by the Thantir while wearing it, and I have seen Kuta occasionally wear their one too, as they deserve, for being a Below Three Hundred General. Also, go on outside. Tanos is still waiting for you.”
Ret bowed slightly, then did as he was told. Elkay waved goodbye then returned to his duties of gathering everything up and sealing all the tests inside an envelope to be marked later.
Tenuk seemed very happy to see Ret, and almost jumped up at him to hug him.
“You alright, best friend?” Tenuk immediately asked.
“Not really. I am annoyed about that test.”
“Why?” Tenuk asked some more. He turned himself into a big, fluffy cat, then jumped up onto Ret’s shoulder. “Did you fuck it up like I did?”
Ret paused. “Oh. You think you failed it too?”
“Yeah, definitely. None of it made sense. Nyssi and Kayel said they struggled too, and Nyssi couldn’t concentrate thanks to the magnetic pyramid thing that was blocking her telepathy.”
“Oh…”
Tenuk purred, nuzzled up to Ret, then leaped off of him and trotted off to the lakeside beach, where most of the Decaylings regularly went to chill. Ret expected Kuta to already be there, but he spotted Kuta and Nyssi both talking to Litvir by the Savepoint patients’ waiting areas, probably about some sort of telepathy stuff, so, instead, he just followed Tenuk to the beach.
“So, Retvik, how you doing, apart from the test?” Tenuk asked as he turned himself back to normal, then sat on the sand. However, after a moment of thought, Tenuk disappeared for a few seconds then swiftly teleported back with a couple of drinks.
“Eh…” Ret frowned. “I… I have a desire to fight something. Yes, all this being a god thing outside of a universe with cool powers and all that is nice, but… I somewhat miss being told “go and punch that person” and I miss being a famous gladiator. I am, admittedly, a very small fish in a very, very big pond now. But Kyr Elkay did make me feel less awkward about me only being a captain. Turns out, they all lost their ranks too.”
“Oh?” Tenuk handed Ret a drink, then wriggled up closer to him. “See, told you that Nyssi was right. She’s right about a lot of things.”
“Nyssi is very smart. Smarter than she admits.”
Tenuk nodded in agreement. “Definitely. But… I guess we could still do a gladiator thing?”
Ret blinked. “What do you mean?”
“I’m pretty sure some of the guys here would love to wrestle at least. Call it combat practice or something. At the very least, if you stood up and claimed you were one of the best gladiators ever, I’m certain someone would try and prove you wrong.”
Ret thought for a moment, then peered behind him, scanning the main area and seeing who was around, while at the same time considering who he could realistically fight.
“I do not think Kyr Litvir would allow me to wrestle him. Kyr Elkay maybe. Other weird Tenuk might be up for it, and maybe Kyr Elksia might?”
“What about the really big guys?” Tenuk suddenly stopped. “Actually, scratch that. I saw mister Itaviir literally throw mister Vikalos over his shoulder earlier with ease. Also, I don’t know why but mister Vikalos was shirtless and not wearing any armour and…” Tenuk swallowed nervously. “He is… insanely buff…”
Ret shrugged, then smiled. “I do not think I could take on Kyr Itaviir, but maybe I could take Kyr Galyn? He is a little shorter and not nearly as muscular as Kyr Itaviir is. I do not think Kyr Vikalos would accept though. He seems the sort to solve all problems with compassion and occasionally lots of fire if compassion does not work.”
“Fair… But I think someone would go for it! What if… what if you wrestled Kuta?”
“Ah… uh… I… I have already… wrestled Kuta… in bed… I won…”
Tenuk’s smile faded briefly. “You don’t mean…”
“No, we actually did wrestle properly. On Kuta’s bed. And on Kuta’s floor. And then afterwards we did not play because Kuta was exhausted and somewhat banged their head and I felt bad.”
“Yeah, no, shouldn’t have asked. I… Sorry, I just kinda find sex gross.”
Ret was unbothered. “Fair enough. But…”
Ret trailed off as well, then fell silent completely. Tenuk didn’t say anything and sipped his drink, quickly forgetting about the awkward stuff. All of a sudden though, Ret hugged Tenuk tightly.
“Uh… is something wrong, Retvik?”
“No. Maybe. I do not know. I… I appreciate you a lot, Tenuk. You always make me feel better. You waited for me just to make me feel better about that stupid test and distracted me from my failures.”
Tenuk smiled again, then hugged Ret back. “I appreciate you too, Retvik. You help me and I help you. Because that’s what best friends do, right?”
“Indeed…” Ret eventually let go, then patted Tenuk on the head. “Can we sit here for a bit, then go and ask about me wrestling someone?”
“Sure!” Tenuk beamed. “Also, I really want you to wrestle weird Tenuk. And kick his ass.”
“For you? Of course.”
“Yay.”