“I wonder if I could, just, like, rip out one of my bones and find a way to make that produce blood?”
Akah blinked, then looked up from what he was doing. The look on Elksia and Tenuk’s faces suggested that they too had been caught unaware by what Phovos had just said.
“Uh, pardon?”
Phovos shrugged as she stretched out in her chair. “Bone marrow makes blood, right? So if I take out a bone, plug it up to an artificial heart or something… I don’t really know where I am going with this.”
“Yeah, no, sis, that’s fucking weird!” Elksia chirped. “Do you not… like the blood stuff?”
“I don’t mind, I’m just wondering if there’s an easier way to do this?” Phovos mused. “After all, my blood is literally magic, it heals anything, but there’s got to be an easier way to produce more of my blood that doesn’t involve my physical presence for an hour or two a day. Don’t think it’d work on Elkay, his blood and, well, Elkay in general, is kinda weird. But I’m a Life Goddess, annoyingly, I should be able to more Life Goddess-y things.”
Akah put his communicator down and sighed. “I’m glad you brought up Elkay, because I’m worried about him. Sure, apparently, one of the upsides of being an Amalgam Mimic is that you’re unkillable or something, but he’s… he’s going hard on the ‘protect everyone’ thing and, well, he’s donated 5 litres of blood in the last two days. That’s not healthy.”
“Nah, he’s fine!” Elksia grinned. “Oh… that’s the spot…”
“He is?” Tenuk asked. He was currently in his Rethavok-like form, and Elksia had just been chilling in his lap while he massaged her shoulders. These days, Elksia was far less armoured. She didn’t need to be an armoured Vrekan, nor did she really need to be a super scaly dragon. “You seem really damn certain about that, angel cake.”
“Well, yeah, of course. Elkay’s the Unender. Kinda almost a Life Goddess. Kinda almost a Time Drake too!” Elksia explained. “Also he can be a Voidborn or a Corruption too. But, like, I see all your time strings? I don’t see Elkay’s strings. Don’t need to. He looks after his own strings.”
“Ugh… I hate that name…” Akah muttered.
“What, Unender?” Elksia giggled. “What’s so bad about that?”
“It’s the old Lanex term for the Void Lord Kenon. He was the Great Unender, the Anti-Space. But we also originally worshipped Kenon, considering him to be our creator and guardian. Until it turned out he preferred Skyavok and allowed the Nexian races to be subjugated.”
“To be fair, it turned out that Kenon didn’t like Skyavok either and decided to mind-control 99% of the Rethan population!” Tenuk tutted. “He was a Voidborn, he was a total cunt. I think the only nice Voidborns we’ve met are that Kesistatiir guy Phovos saved, and the strange, silver guy that Litvir is weirdly friends with.”
Akah and Phovos both nodded in agreement, but Elksia seemed less sure.
“I dunno, Tennypoo, the little baby Voidborn that was following them seemed fine.”
“Yeah, but that was a baby that couldn’t talk…” Akah frowned. “I don’t think we can really count it yet. And being around it felt weird. Sure, I don’t have telepathy or anything but that baby gave me bad mind squiggles and was more creepy than the Voidborn that claims to be Kenon’s older brother.”
Elksia suddenly snorted. “HAH! Mind squiggles! I love it!”
“Maybe you do have some latent telepathy though?” Phovos suggested. “I mean, Retvik doesn’t have telepathy, but he definitely picks things up.”
Tenuk tutted, clearly disagreeing. “Retvik doesn’t have usable telepathy, but he’s a Rethan, he was part of the Secret like all other Rethans. That was basically a telepathic network, so Retvik knows what to feel for and he does pick it up. Pretty sure, if we stayed among the Phantai long enough, he’d have started picking up their telepathic networks too, because the Beh’ens considered him one of them.”
Elksia started snorting again. “Hahahahaaha! Speaking of Beh’ens! That Thyel guy! Totally had the hots for Litty!”
“Pretty sure Litvir had some interest in Thyel back!” Tenuk laughed as well. “Pretty certain that, had Retvik not been around, they would have sneaked off and fucked. They probably should have.”
“That’s a little mean…” Akah frowned.
“It’s not. Litvir’s polyamorous and totally open, but Retvik is completely monogamous…” Tenuk explained. “That’s kinda the big thing between Retvik and Litvir, always has been. Litvir had a whole four-way thing between between himself, Eksi, Elkay and Teekay, he shows interest in other, not-Retvik beings, he’d probably sleep with me if I made myself attractive to him…”
“You should!” Elksia teased.
Tenuk shrugged. “I would, but my Rethan form isn’t conventionally attractive to other Rethans. Well, to hot Rethans like Retvik, Litvir and Elkay.”
“You… just admitted that Litvir is hot…” Akah was quickly finding himself in “I didn’t really want to know and you’re not going stop” territory.
Elksia and Tenuk glanced at each other, then nodded.
“All things considered, if you can ignore the fangs and the personality, Litvir definitely is attractive!” Tenuk explained some more. “After all, Retvik finds him attractive enough to sleep with him, and Retvik has a very specific taste in other Rethans, one I intentionally made myself follow to make him, well, not kill me when he and Elksia were younger. Retvik specifically has two types: massive meaty giants like Gath was, and tall, slender folks with too much confidence like Litvir. Sure, Litvir’s not as tall as Retvik is now, but Retvik’s grown like 30cm, and Litvir is still tall for a Rethan…” Tenuk paused, because Elksia was nudging him. “What’s up, sugarplum?”
“We should get Retvik to sleep with you and me.”
“Alright, THAT’S insane!” Akah snapped. “You’re a fucking Kronospast.”
Tenuk smirked at Akah. “I am. I am a fucking Kronospast. Fucking’s what I do best. And, as strange as it sounds, I actually think Elksia has a point. Both Retvik and Litvir are stubborn pricks, but Retvik’s never experienced polyamory. Maybe if we can get him to expand his horizons, it might smooth things over between him and Litvir a little more.”
Phovos snorted herself. “Good luck. You’d have to get Retvik drunk. But out of everyone here, Elksia’s probably got the best chance. Better chances than me, and I dated the idiot for six months.”
“Wait…” Akah spun around and stared at Phovos. “You… slept with Retvik?”
“We tried to, a few times, yeah. Didn’t work. Retvik’s just way too big.”
Akah didn’t mean to pull a face, but the image that Phovos’s statement conjured up did not sit nicely with him. “You know what? I’m… going to go somewhere else.”
“Probably for the best!” Elksia tweeted. “Your weird new gaming friend is about to message you.”
Akah’s communicator suddenly beeped. The companion app for his favourite game showed that he had, in fact, received a message. Glad to have an excuse to leave, Akah quickly waved goodbye to everyone and rushed off.
“We’re mean…” Phovos eventually sighed. “You two KNOW he gets weird about that sort of thing. Also, there’s no way you two can convince Retvik to sleep with you.”
“Willing to bet on it?” Tenuk smiled.
Phovis thought to herself, then nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll bet 30k Deathvenbucks, 10k for you, Elksia and Retvik, if you can convince Retvik to have sex with both of you. If you can’t do it within a reasonable time frame, you two both owe me 5k.”
Elksia and Tenuk glanced at each other, then grinned.
“Deal.”