As I stand here on this cliff, overlooking the beautiful mountains and forests of these Thraki-owned lands, I can’t help but think how things have changed. For the better, for once.
It wasn’t long ago that I was fighting for my life. Running away from the world. I was being chased by not one but two monsters, both of whom had destroyed my very being. The tables turned, and I broke free from all the evils that wanted me dead. I was a free being.
I still am. More free than anyone could imagine. Free from my life as a servant and a Ksa. Free from the scorn of my peers. Free from the horrific moments that scarred my soul.
Behind me are two beings that used to make my soul hurt. Psivee-En, the monster that destroyed my life twenty five years ago, is lying, asleep in the long grass. Arkay, the result of what Psivee-En did to me, is tidying up after a pleasant picnic, and making flower chains out of the small daisies he picked easier. Two beings on whom I blamed my failures. Both of them forgiven for their sins. Both of them now… family, I guess. Well, Arkay was always my son, but we were detached from one another. Psivee-En though, over the last six months, he has done everything in his power to make up and repent for his sins. He gave his life for me.
It’s not just family though. Last night, we had a visitor. A monster from my past who wanted to kill me. I only found out in the morning when Arkay told me, but he managed to not only convince the monster to not harm us, but he told the monster to give up his evil ways. Same way Psivee-En did. Same way I did. I woke up this morning and found an axe, a bunch of flowers and a detailed apology. The monster in question is now at a hospital being treated for mental illness.
I… I am struggling to comprehend it all. Everything is getting better. Really, a lot of this is because of Arkay. I may have spent countless nights wondering why I kept him, a constant reminder of my pain, but he has been nothing but good to me.
Part of me feels that I don’t deserve any of this. I don’t deserve to be happy. But that negative part of me is going away.
I repeatedly tell myself my life is better now. I have my kids, they all care about me. I am comfortable being around Arkay. Psivee-En has given me almost all the material possessions I could ever want. I have an income and a place I can call home. And I have a job I adore, that lets me spend my time outside, with hours I want. Better than being a shitty Ksa like I used to be.
On top of that, I am nigh unkillable now. My research into necromancy and restoration magic has made me well known among the Thanatians and Bayvak. My skills are good. I am good.
I have to repeat that to myself. I am good. I am good. I AM good. I have done so much to help others. And I am teaching my kid to do the same. Arkay has that twinkle in his mind that lets him use magic as well. Maybe Psivee-En could too. He’s already in touch with the shadows…
And then my mind does it again. The bad memories try and pop back to the surface. They fail, but they leave behind some doubt.
You see, I think I am falling in love with Psivee-En. That same part of me that thinks I don’t deserve goodness also screams that my romantic desires are bad. But I’ve seen it with my own eyes, how Psivee-En has changed.
He is good.
Arkay is good.
I am good.
Things are good.
This is the good ending I have always wanted. I finally have it. I won’t let anyone take it away from me, ever again.
Everything is good.