“How are you feeling today, Trismit?”
Trismit took a deep breath before answering the therapist’s question. Emdee was a small being, chosen for this job due to the fact that he was tiny and non-threatening, even to the most terrified of Rethans. Yet Trismit still felt somewhat nervous in his presence. Not because of Emdee himself, but because of those who made him go to these sessions.
“I am not doing great. I… I did something very bad.”
“You did?” Emdee remained in his seat, unmoved. Trismit shuddered, trying to think of how to phrase things.
“This is… confidential, yes?”
“Of course. Whatever you say to me is kept within this wall, aside from any attempts of self harm. That sort of thing must be sent up to your superiors, so they may keep an eye on you and… stop you from further harming yourself.”
Trismit sighed. He shifted his weight, trying to feel more comfortable in the bed of cushions and pillows that he was lying on. “I was afraid you would say that.”
“Why?”
For some reason, Trismit expected Emdee to be a little more… anxious or something. He expected the elderly Skyan therapist to display more emotion. But he just remained where he was, waiting for Trismit to explain himself.
“I nearly… did something stupid. I sat out on a window ledge and considered jumping…” Trismit found himself short of breath.
“But you didn’t jump. You’re in here, talking to me. Why don’t you take a deep breath and talk to me about it?”
Trismit did as he was told, taking long, drawn out breaths to calm himself down. “There was someone out there with me. A death god.”
“You mean Arkadin, the Thantophor.”
“That… that is his name… and you say it with… no hint of…”
Emdee tilted his head to one side. “Us Skyavok are much more friendlier with the deities of this universe than Rethans are. And there is a known record of the Thantophor interfering with those who want to end their lives. You should consider yourself very, very lucky, little one.”
“I do…” Trismit sighed. “And I will be honest with you, it is not what happened that scares me. It is what the Thantophor suggested. He said I should just leave this place and start a new life.”
Emdee’s tone changed, from vague surprise to one of curiosity. “Did he?”
“You… you are making this seem like a bad thing…” Trismit stuttered.
“Oh no. Quite the opposite, I think this is a good thing. An outside push to spread your wings and take off. Metaphorically, of course.”
“I… I do not follow.”
“To put it another way, traditional Rethan life may be out of reach for you. You cannot serve in the Stratos as you normally would and you may not be capable of holding a normal, steady Rethan job. And that is assuming that the ongoing investigation comes out in your favour.”
Trismit’s eyes widened. “What? You said… you said I would be fine! You said I would be safe and nothing would happen to me! I do not want to be imprisoned! I want to be free!”
Tears started to form in Trismit’s eyes. He put his head in his hands, trying to hide his sobs. Emdee sighed, then cautiously handed Trismit some paper tissues, before gently putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Trismit, please, don’t cry about what you don’t know about.”
“But… I might… I might go to prison… forever…”
“You will not. I very much doubt that your superiors are that heartless…”
“That is what I am scared of though!” Trismit interrupted, still crying. “Maybe they ARE heartless! They let General Litvir hurt me and so many others! They might… they might want to hurt me still! And I just… I just want to be free from all of this. Get away from… my responsibilities as a Rethan…”
Emdee sighed a little, then pulled Trismit close, giving him a little comfort. “I understand. We need to take things slowly though. The idea of running away is tempting, I know, but right now, it won’t help you. Instead, let me help you build a small support network, something you can fall back on. I will help you. Retvik will help you. Others will help you. Then, whatever happens, we can go from there. You understand?”
Trismit’s tears began to pass and a smile appeared on his face. “Yeah… I get it… Thank you…”