Zitel and Veeyel both hated shopping. Yet for some reason, there they were, going to a shop, picking up a few bits and pieces. Most of it was just snacks and energy drinks, but there were also a few more… unusual items on the list. The shop was a Thanatian one, selling mostly Thanatian things, but they also stocked a few odds and ends for the Cassids and Vrekans that would normally pass by.
“Of course I didn’t think I’d be out on my own, having to buy lubricant myself…” Veeyel muttered. He’d repeated that phrase several times now, and his embarrassment levels were reaching critical mass.
“Don’t feel too bad…” Zitel had been trying to reassure him. “I’m sure vok buy lubricants for things all the time.”
As they approached the end of the aisle, Veeyel hesitantly picked up a box of paper handkerchiefs, then quickly put it back. Zitel gave him a quick “why did you do that?” look, and Veeyel picked them up again, then threw them in the basket. The basket luckily had wheels on the bottom so they could just drag it around.
“Veeyel, seriously…”
“It’s sexual, Zitel!” Veeyel whispered. “This is all sexy stuff. The lovely Thanatian at the till is going to give me a funny look and I’m going to feel even more embarrassed!”
Zitel shook his head, then turned the corner and continued down the next aisle. Veeyel sighed then chased after him, pausing only to look at a special offer on toothbrushes.
This new aisle was the one they were looking for. Female hygiene products made up most of the aisle, but lubricants were in the middle, alongside antibacterial soaps, wipes and condoms.
“Fucking told you…” Veeyel sighed as he awkwardly searched the shelf for the plainest brand of lubricant. Most of them though were pale pinks with flowers or all blue and sporty. A cheap brand with grey packaging was what Veeyel ended up getting.
Zitel blinked a few times, trying to work out what was wrong. “You’re not normally like this.”
“I don’t want anyone thinking we’re a couple.”
“But we’re not.”
“Who the fuck goes and buys lubricant wi-”
Zitel giggled, interrupting Veeyel. “Most people probably buy lubricants on their own. If anything, people mistaking us for a couple is way LESS embarrassing. Plus, it’s for your leg braces, to make them easier to get on and off. What’s wrong with that?”
Veeyel grumbled and walked off, snatching the basket and disappearing around another corner. The sound of packets of sweet potato snacks being thrown into the basket intensified.
“You know you’re not supposed to… Oh forget it…” Zitel was going to chase after him, but changed his mind. Instead, he headed towards the checkout and waited there.
Standing nearby was the single Thanatian cashier. She was obviously of a Thanatian female sort, wearing a blue vest top that matched the shop’s branding and an incredibly small skirt. Luckily, she was wearing underwear, which Zitel was rather thankful for. Veeyel finally returned with the basket. Surprisingly, he had put back some of the snacks he’d angrily thrown in earlier and completed the rest of the shopping list.
“You done?”
“Yes.”
Veeyel tutted as he put stuff on the tiny conveyor belt. The Thanatian cashier happily ran the items threw, while Zitel bagged it all up in some bags-for-life he’d brought with him. The cashier smiled at them, helped them pack up the last of the shopping then happily accepted payment and waved goodbye. Not once did she make any comments about their items.
The two Rethans both left the shop, but only Zitel was smiling.
“See, they don’t care what you buy.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Veeyel sighed as he reached into one of the bags and pulled out a packet of crisps. “Guess I was just being silly…”
“Still, it begs the question,” Zitel shrugged. “I get what this lubricant is for, but what is that two litre bottle of moisturiser for?”
“I have no idea…”