Touching Desires

A quiet knock on the door distracted Arkay from his thoughts. He had meant to be packing his very small bag of belongings away, but had been sidetracked by work and other nonsense. With only a little hesitation, Arkay headed to the door and opened it.

Standing there in the doorway was Kayel, the All-Ksa of the Skyavok, wearing only the barest of Skyan clothing – a stomach wrap, one piece of smooth shoulder armour, a silver collar necklace and his leadership sash, tied around his waist. Behind the All-Ksa were two K-Class guards, both of whom seemed rather nervous.

“I heard you were leaving?”

Arkay looked Kayel up and down, then led him inside, leaving the guards outside and out of earshot. He sat down on the nearest available stool and went back to shoving things into a bag.

“I take it you are leaving. Why?”

“Because it is best that I am left alone.”

“Why?”

“Because things are better when I am not near others. Things are always better when I am on my own, doing my own things…” Arkay finished what he was doing and turned to Kayel. “Why are you here though? You going to try and convince me to stay?”

Kayel smiled shrewdly. “Oh no, not at all. While I would really like it if you stayed, I just wanted to know why. So we can make changes and make you more comfortable next time you visit.”

The Thantophor stared somewhat blankly at Kayel. What was this mortal playing at?

“I mean, you are a Skyan, and Skyans care for their own! Even if they are gods of death like yourself! Clearly we did something wrong and we want to make amends! We’re not forcing you to stay… but we… I’d like to know what I did wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not leaving because of the Skyavok,” Arkay replied bluntly. He was somewhat amazed that Kayel was blaming himself. If anything, Kayel was one of the nicest mortals the Thantophor had ever met. “I’m leaving because that is what’s best for this universe. An active presence causes too many problems. Plus, I’m better off on my own anyway.”

Kayel sighed. He gently put his hand on the Thantophor’s shoulder. As he did so though, he noticed how Arkay shuddered.

“You sure about that?”

Arkay had realised what he had done. He had shown… weakness in front of this mortal.

“Please remove your hand.”

“No.”

“I won’t ask again.”

“You crave physical touch. You want to be alone but you also want love and companionship. I know, I’ve seen this before. Felt it before.”

Arkay turned to Kayel, tutting. “Are you… comparing yourself to me?”

“Yep. When I was a kid, I thought I wanted to be all alone forever. But when I made friends, when I made contact with people, everything felt better. And it made others feel better too. I mean, that’s basically how I got into the business of prostitution, because I enjoyed making others feel better, and I think you need to feel better as well.”

“I don’t… I don’t get it.”

“You have spent so long avoiding physical contact that you long for it. You’re desperate for it. You crave it.”

The Thantophor grunted, turning away. “You don’t know what I want.”

“Well I don’t know exactly what you want!” Kayel exclaimed. “That’s impossible! But I’ve seen the signs before! You want to be held the way mortals hold each other but you’re almost too scared to go out and do it because you don’t want to hurt others and don’t want to be hurt yourself! Not again, at least!”

Arkay scowled, not wanting to continue this conversation. The ideas discussed were… cutting too close. “Can you please leave, Kayel?”

Kayel nodded. “Of course, Arkay. But would you like a little hug before you leave?”

The Thantophor grunted, then hesitated. He felt… bad. He turned back to Kayel, sighing.

“Yeah, a hug would be nice…”