The Thantophor was in a funny mood. He was supposed to be going out, doing things, watching over his domain, spreading decay and entropy across existence, but he was currently sat in his tiny apartment, staring at a screen, and had been doing so for a couple of hours now. A single voice call that had barely lasted ten minutes had left the Lord of Decay utterly speechless.
It had started off pretty simple. Arkay had instantly recognized Litvir’s voice, despite having not heard it in millennia. No, longer than that. The universe Arkay resided in was about a billion years old, and there was a definite blank between when Arkay had last seen Litvir and before he’d helped Epani, Sini and Kairos put the universe together. But according to Litvir, it had only been a couple of years at most. Time ran differently outside of Arkay’s home.
That wasn’t what was bothering Arkay though. Just speaking to Litvir had unlocked a handful of memories, but not enough. Litvir had explained that, because Arkay was being suppressed (Litvir’s words, not Arkay’s), he probably wouldn’t remember much, but Litvir had an idea that might have helped. That was, until Litvir abruptly said he needed to leave and said he’d call back as soon as he could.
Hours had passed, and Arkay was still waiting. He hadn’t done anything else, apart from fetching a glass of water and occasionally glancing at the time.
Eventually though, a notification popped up. Litvir was calling him. Arkay fumbled over his mouse and immediately accepted the call.
“Hi Litvir! What happened?”
“I apologise, Arkay. You see, our boss, Galyn, I do not know if you remember him, he does not know that we have been on contact with you. We are currently parked at a Life Oasis and Galyn is distracted, but I do not know how much time we have.”
The name sounded vaguely familiar. Arkay thought to himself for a moment. Galyn was the name of the entity that had teleported Arkay out of the universe when it was still only minutes old, demanding to know what had happened to Kinisis, the dead deity that the Four had built their universe on. Except Arkay had no idea what had been said, and, according to Kairos, he had only been gone for several seconds. All Arkay remembered was a lot of guilt.
“That’s… alright… I guess…” Arkay didn’t know what to say. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘we’, are you not alone?”
This time, Litvir hesitated. “Well, no, of course not. We picked up a handful of survivors from the death of our universe, from when you killed Kinisis and the four of you made your new little paradise. We are currently training them to be Decay Lords themselves.”
Arkay could hear something else in the background. “Who is with you right now?”
“I shall… pass him over to you…”
More weird noises. The sound of a headset being passed to someone else, a heavy thud of someone sitting in a chair.
“Hello, Arkay.”
“R-Retvik?”
“Yes, it has been… a while.”
Arkay stuttered, unable to form words. He was suddenly overcome with emotions and memories. Not a lot of memories, just enough to make him tense up. Epani and Sini, they’d always told him that he had been bound to some sort of universe, that before this universe, he had been bound to the universe before it. That wasn’t true. There was a gap where Arkay hadn’t been chained to a Cycle, but instead he had formed bonds of friendship, of love and companionship. These two beings had bled for Arkay, and he had bled for them.
But there was one thing that tore at Arkay the most. The memory of what had originally broken him. A moment in which Arkay had snapped in uncontrollable fury and, in the process, had become a danger to the two beings he had bound himself to.
“I… I am so, so sorry, Retvik. I… I lost control. I ruined everything. I became a monster and I hurt you both…”
Tears welled up in Arkay’s eyes. He could hardly focus.
“I forgive you, Arkay.”
“We forgive you!” Litvir’s voice echoed in the background.
Retvik let out a low sigh, it was almost soothing. “You were not sound of mind. You never meant the words you said, the actions you took. And we failed to defend you when you needed us.”
“Doesn’t matter…” Arkay tried to wipe the tears from his eyes, but he found he couldn’t stop crying. “I fucked up. I deserve to be trapped in here, stuck in a Cycle I didn’t want to partake in.”
“You were used, Arkay. It was not your fault.”
“Yeah it was. You’ve reminded me of it all. That stupid Life Goddess, trying to force me to help her build a universe. Instead of just saying no, I fucking killed her, and then I nearly turned on you, and you two had to stop me. He sent me away, and I came back and let Epani use me and now I’m stuck here. Sure, this universe we made is nice, but I’m still trapped inside it. And I fucking deserve it.”
Retvik and Litvir both fell silent, before muting themselves. Arkay sighed to himself, glancing at the time, before rubbing his eyes again. Just like every other liquid in his body, Arkay’s tears were black and starry, and had left a stain on his desk.
After a few moments, Litvir unmuted the chat and started speaking again.
“We only… recently discovered this, but, well, the Life Goddess you killed, she… wanted you to do that. The idiot that she was, she was coercing you into attacking her, for her own goals, to rebirth herself. We recently ran into her at the last Life Oasis we went to, and she wanted to thank you in person, and seemed somewhat upset when we told her about your situation. If anything, Arkay, Retvik and I, we failed you, we should have stood up for you. It is us who owe you an apology.”
“W-what?”
“Arkay, we are-”
“SHE WANTED ME TO KILL HER?” Arkay shouted, not caring about raising his voice or disrupting anything. All those awkward emotions had been replaced with anger. Perhaps a little too much anger. “I WENT THROUGH ALL THIS FOR NOTHING?”
“Well, not nothing… But yes, we… made some mistakes… Wait, Retvi-”
A snatching sound was heard, as well as more fumbling around.
“Arkay, we are genuinely sorry for what happened. Which is why we have been trying to get back in contact with you. Yes, you are currently duty-bound to a new universe, but you do not have to be there on your own. We have found you now, we know where you are, you can talk to us.”
“Maybe I don’t want to talk to you any more…” Arkay trailed off, taking a deep breath before continuing. “We all fucked up. And, well, I thank you both for helping me with my, uh, recent sickness. But all of this… it’s too much, you’ve dug up the past and now I am hurting again. Worse, now I’m stuck with the fact that you two are out there, both free, and I’ll be stuck here for at least a few billion more years. You’ll be long, long gone before I finally get out.”
“Time moves differently out here, dear!” Litvir seemed to have wrestled back control of the microphone, having put it between both him and Retvik so they could both speak. There was a lot more background noise now. “A billion years for you is only about a year or so for us. Considering that your universe is technically above the average age for a universe, and assuming that you will keep it going for, well, twenty billion years as an estimate, that is not a long wait for us, only a couple of decades.”
“It is for me though. I’ve got to spend all this time away from you two, now knowing what happened and what I’ve done. I… I almost wish you hadn’t spoken to me… I was happier being ignorant.”
“I… I am sorry, Arkay, I should not have asked you to speak to me…” Litvir sighed. “I was selfish. I thought you would be happier knowing the truth.”
“No, it’s… it’s fine. It’s all… in the past now. You weren’t to know.” Arkay closed his eyes, having calmed down a little. “Thank you for helping me, but I think I need to be on my own for a while. I have duties now, and I can’t let this universe suffer because I have a history outside of it. Not because of Epani or Sini or Kairos, but because of all the poor souls trapped in here with me.”
“Understandable, dear. We are here on both voice chat and text chat if you require us.”
“Thank you… I have to go now. Look after yourselves.”
“You too, Arkay.”
Arkay closed the call, then took a deep breath, before throwing his earphones to one side in frustration. After a moment of silence, Arkay shut down his laptop. He hesitated briefly, then checked his communicator. Epani needed some help dealing with a micro black hole, and he’d been ignoring her messages.
Picking out his favourite gunstaff, Arkay summoned some armour for himself, then left his apartment, not really knowing how he felt, and in desperate need of a distraction. With a sigh, the Thantophor disappeared in a puff of black smoke, and went back to work.