Mimicblade: Hey kiddo, you busy?
Deathbringer: Not really.
Deathbringer: Just finished talking to some cool stone guy with a missing finger, he kept on calling me kiddo as well.
Mimicblade: What?
Deathbringer: I’m at a water park right now with my babes. I swear, Litvir’s been down this same slide like five times now, and while I’m waiting, I was chatting with someone who had brought his seemingly infinite kids here.
Mimicblade: What?
Deathbringer: The guy was telling me that he was some sort of eldritch deity that had accidentally been created by the appearance of an unknown being from a more solid plane of existence entering his realm. Some random mortal appeared, Wallace went to greet them, they panicked, cut off his finger, stole it and ran. In his universe, they had a timeline splitting problem because of it, and Wallace told me that he’s from a timeline where he just cut his losses, took the kids and moved on.
Mimicblade: What?
Deathbringer: Dude just chills now, running some sort of strange immortal teenager superpowered assassin school and he brought all the kids on a school trip. Apparently, they’re not actually kids, they’re more like Vohra and permanently trapped between the ages of 16 and 18, except they’re thousands of years old. It’s kinda awkward, but this is apparently the only water park in this eniapent, so Wallace didn’t have much choice.
Mimicblade: What?
Deathbringer: We were chatting while Litvir and Retvik were trying out the rides. Turns out, Retvik has a fear of tunnel slides and is hiding at the pool bar, but Litvir’s gone on the Pitch Black Rainbow Thriller slide… I think he’s going again. Sixth time.
Mimicblade: What?
Deathbringer: I’m beginning to wonder why Litvir likes this slide so much, it’s not that fancy. He’s having fun though so I’m not gonna complain.
Deathbringer: Anyway, what’s up?
Mimicblade: Fucking what was all that?
Deathbringer: I’m in a funny mood.
Mimicblade: You’re at a water park?
Deathbringer: Yeah. Somewhere near Deathven Sector Ni.
Mimicblade: Why?
Deathbringer: We were supposed to be doing something for Deathven, meeting with some Voidborns to discuss a peace deal, but the Voidborns kinda got themselves blown up by the locals before we even arrived, so we’re at the closest hotel in case Deathven needs us or the Voidborns respawn and come back and want to do the meeting. Except the closest hotel happened to be a nude water park.
Mimicblade: What?
Deathbringer: Tenuk, you know my life is fucked up in all sorts of ways. Weird things happen on the regular.
Mimicblade: Alright, fair.
Mimicblade: So I take it you’re busy right now? And not at Savepoint?
Deathbringer: We’ll be back in a few days. Why you asking?
Mimicblade: Alright since I met up with you, Vick and Elksos, I’ve been thinking.
Mimicblade: More specifically, I’ve been going through the backgrounds of my troops and seeing if I can do more for them. Make us more like a family, more like you Thantir, rather than just a bunch of blokes who serve me and kill Corruption then go to the pub for drinks afterwards.
Mimicblade: I’ve singled out two guys so far, both of whom don’t get out much, so I’m taking them out on a trip. Me and two of the guys, having fun.
Mimicblade: But also I got a bunch of samples and a contact from a new Alsyrian brewing company that’s just setting up, they’re looking for clients, and wondered if Vick was interested. I want to go see Vick and thought I’d lump it all into a round trip to see you as well.
Deathbringer: You don’t want to see Elksia?
Mimicblade: Kiddo, Elksia’s in the Justar. That shit is a black hole of insanity. I ain’t going there if I don’t have to.
Deathbringer: Uh… fair, I guess. I’m not gonna be back at Savepoint for at least… 72 hours though.
Mimicblade: That’s cool. Will you be there for a bit?
Deathbringer: Yeah.
Mimicblade: Alright, follow-up question: I heard you got some lizard ladies at Savepoint.
Deathbringer: Uh, what?
Mimicblade: Thanatians.
Deathbringer: Oh… that… that’s an old term I haven’t heard in a very long time.
Mimicblade: What do you use?
Deathbringer: Temthans and Temthan-Asides. Or Thrastarii for the dragony guys in your area.
Mimicblade: Gotcha.
Mimicblade: You got some?
Deathbringer: Before I answer… why are you asking?
Mimicblade: Alright, one of the guys I’m sorting stuff out for, he’s an albino Thrastarii. Fit as fuck, nice guy, but because he’s not black like every other Thrastarii, he ain’t getting any.
Mimicblade: I was wondering if you had some sort of lizard girl who’d be willing to go on a date with him.
Deathbringer: Bloody darkness, that… that is quite an ask.
Mimicblade: You do.
Deathbringer: Phovos (Life Goddess) is taken, Phovos (Voidborn) is taken and also trying to transition, but I… I can ask Nyssi, I guess? She’ll probably kick me in the dick for suggesting as much, but since she’s not really clicking with Fragiir, she might consider it.
Mimicblade: That’s perfect. She doesn’t even need to fuck him, just sitting down for coffee with the dude is all I want.
Deathbringer: Oh. Alright. I’ll see what I can do. She might say no, but Nyssi is also adventurous, so we’ll see.
Deathbringer: What about the other person? You said you were bringing two people?
Mimicblade: Eh, that one, I know how to fix that. Already got plans for him.
Deathbringer: So when are you coming? Because I need to check with Galyn and Elkay-En. Nyssi spends most of her time at the Pink Paradise, helping Elkay-En, and the rest of her time at Savepoint, so I need to make sure she’s around.
Mimicblade: Let me do some maths and I’ll give you exact times in a bit.
Deathbringer: Alright, cool. Anyway, I think Litvir’s done on that slide now. I count nine times, and he’s looking a little… uh… satisfied. Actually, I’ve just worked out why he liked that slide so much.
Mimicblade: I’ve said this a lot, but…
Mimicblade: What?
Deathbringer: It’s just more weird Litvir things.
Deathbringer: See you soon?
Mimicblade: Sure thing. See ya, kiddo.
Deathbringer: Bye!
Deathbringer is now offline.