A Godly Invitation from a Mortal

“Oh! Hello, little mortal! What brings you to my domain?”

Rethais glanced over his shoulder and pointed at a wooden door which didn’t seem to be attached to anything. Then again, Rethais was pretty sure that he was standing on either clouds or cotton wool, floating above a mountain, speaking to a massive sea creature that was hovering ominously, while a serpentine being wriggled around on its back.

“I am not actually sure where here is, all I know is that the door Kenon created brought me here.”

At the mention of the name “Kenon”, the serpentine being immediately threw itself off the sea creature’s back and landed in front of Rethais. Up on the creature’s back, it had appeared rather small, but now that it was standing and hissing in front of Rethais, it was at least double his height. And, worse, most of its tail trailed belong it. Goodness knows how long the entire being was.

“What the fuck does that asshole want now? He keeps on asking me stupid shit about how to mind control everyone and I keep on telling him to go fuck himself because I’m busy! And now he’s sending a little mortal in his place? Fucking coward. Ain’t that right, Epani?”

Rethais shrugged, an attempt to remain as calm as he could. “I cannot help but agree, but I am just the messenger here.”

“You’re not just the messenger. You’re the little enabling bastard that I’m genuinely surprised Kenon has not killed yet. The former High General, rolling over for that asshole.”

“Yisini, that is wholly unfair on the poor thing. After all, it is mortal, and no amount of mortal power can really dethrone a god. This one is probably more useful alive than dead anyway!” The colossal water being’s smile was filled with teeth, more than Rethais dared to count. Part of him wondered why this one was now the Allmaker, and not the serpentine Goddess of Life.

“True, true. Actually surprised Kenon sent this one anyway…” Yisini turned back to Rethais. “Why DID Kenon send you, of all beings?”

Rethais shrugged some more, his only real way of responding to the confusion around him. “Kenon wished to send a Rethan to deliver this letter. Most Rethans however have… issues dealing with magical doors that defy physics as we understand them, and do not know how to talk to a deity without their words disintegrating.”

“And you clearly have no such trouble!” Epani beamed.

“Well, it makes sense. My siblings were both… taken… by you deities.” Rethais trailed off, then shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He then opened his hand and held up a small, thin object. “Either way, I was determined to be the best candidate for the job… the job of delivering this small envelope to you.”

Yisini stared at the envelope, before snatching it away from Rethais, leaving a vague pheromone scent on Rethais’s hand. She scanned it for several seconds before opening it up, reading the letter inside and showing it to Epani.

“He wants to invite us to dinner.”

“No tricks?”

“Nothing here. Can never tell though.”

Epani grunted. “You are right, we can never tell. Might be genuine though.”

“May I make a suggestion?” Rethais interrupted. “Kenon has been… pining for some attention from his, uh, family. Maybe if just one of you accepted his invitation, then the other could… wait in the wings, in case Kenon does try… something?”

The two deities glanced at each other, then smiled.

“That is a wonderful idea!” Epani beamed. “Yisini, do you mind going?”

Yisini frowned. “Fine, I’ll go. Better me than you anyway. I have a question though…” The Allbirther turned to Rethais. “Will you be going to this dinner, little mortal?”

Rethais hesitated. “Uh… probably.”

“Will there be plenty of other succulent mortals around?”

“Most likely.”

The Allbirther’s frown faded. “Ah good! Then I shall accept this invitation, for myself only though. Epani is busy running the universe, of course.”

Rethais bowed his head. “Thank you. I shall let Kenon know…”

As Rethais turned to leave though, he noticed the long, snaking tail of Yisini blocking the door.

“One last thing, little mortal. I haven’t mated in a while. Been rather busy. Are you…”

“I am married…” Rethais bluntly replied. “It would be wrong of me to, uh… well… you know…”

“Ah, fair. How about you and your partner then? I’d love to have you both over for some fun!”

Rethais hesitated, reaching for the door. “I… I would have to ask Lysar first.”

The mortal’s answer satisfied Yisini, and she moved her tail away, allowing Rethais to leave. “You do that! Until then, you behave yourself!”