A Hint of Forgiveness

Arkay sat patiently in his chair. Aside from the large screen in front of him, there was very little of interest in the room. The door to his left was closed, with a guard standing on the other side.

After what felt like a little too long, the screen switched itself on, and another being could be seen. Above the screen was a small camera, streaming Arkay’s location to somewhere else in the facility. Probably where the being on the screen was.

“Kalis.”

“Arkay…”

Kalis was sitting in a room very similar to Arkay’s. But as soon as he’d seen Arkay, he immediately got out of his chair and fell to his knees.

“I am so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you. I’ll understand if you don’t forgive me either.”

Arkay blinked. Something about Kalis… It was all so familiar. Almost as if Arkay was looking into a mirror instead of a screen.

“I am so sorry. So, so sorry. There’s no way I could ever make things right. But I can try. Whatever you want, I will do. Even if you say you want me dead.”

Kalis remained on the ground, on his knees. He was quite clearly crying. Almost as if he had been crying a little too much.

“What I did was wrong. I could have just written it off as the darkness, the Voidborn poison running through me. I was still enthralled by Theocydes. Maybe I still am. Maybe not. But I deserve punishment. Punishment from you. Perhaps even death.”

Arkay squirmed a little in his chair. He wasn’t sure what bothered him more: memories of their conflict, or how willing Kalis was to end his own life, just to make Arkay feel better.

“Please don’t kill yourself…” Arkay eventually muttered. “I know what it’s like to want to so desperately harm myself. It’s tempting to listen to those dark voices. Doesn’t help though. Just makes a huge mess left to others to clean up.”

Kayel sniffed, then straightened himself out a bit. looking back at Arkay. Or the camera in his room, Arkay wasn’t sure.

“I committed one of the worst sins possible. You ripping my still-beating heart wouldn’t be enough of a punishment.”

Arkay sighed, not really sure what he wanted to say. “Well… you tried to. Until I beat the piss out of you and got you sent here. Meanwhile, I’ve murdered plenty of sapient beings. Including a Life Goddess. I turned into a monster and lost control too.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I let Arkidetelos out. I killed a Life Goddess instead of just saying no. Frankly, we are both death gods, all we’ve ever done is kill, maim and murder.”

“Yes but… what I did… lasts longer than mere death.”

“To us, yeah. But…” Arkay closed his eyes for a moment. “We have both cut bloody swathes across the multiverse. Billions have died by our hands. Yet, somehow, I still believe that, well, other people can be redeemed. We recognize that we did wrong. We try to fix that. You are trying to fix yourself.”

“You don’t believe that about yourself though, do you?” Kalis asked. “We both believe that we do not deserve forgiveness.”

Arkay nodded. “That is exactly how I feel. But I also feel that, well, I can forgive you. At the very least, I don’t want you dead.”

“You…” Kalis stuttered, unable to finish his sentence. The tears started flowing again. “How though? How can you forgive me?”

“I just… can, I guess. We think we’re monsters. But we have guilty consciences. If we didn’t, then we actually would be monsters.”

“You don’t think I’m a monster?”

Arkay sighed a bit. “No.”

“You think you are a monster though.”

“Yeah. Because I became Arkidetelos all on my own. I let that happen.”

“But you and Arkidetelos are separate. The same way me and my Voidborn demons are separate.”

“Yeah… I guess…” Arkay trailed off. After a moment of thought, he looked back at Kalis. “Maybe we could learn from each other. We’ve been through similar horrors.”

Kalis suddenly leaped to his feet. “You… you…” Words fell out of Kalis’s open maw. “You… do genuinely forgive me?”

“Yes. And I hope that I’ll eventually be able to forgive myself. We are actively trying to better ourselves. But maybe we could help each other.” Arkay got up from his seat. “I need help. So do you. We should help each other.”

With a tentative smile, Kalis rubbed the tears from his eyes. “I… I don’t know… what to say…”

“Me neither…” Arkay shrugged. “But I can’t do this on my own. And I’m certain you can’t either… Maybe, just maybe, if we tried hard and worked together, we might be able to forgive ourselves one day…”

“I…” Kalis calmed down a little. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”

Arkay’s frown turned into a small smile. “Well, not always… But right now, I think I’m right…”