“There are so, so many drunk people here!” Telecharm grinned as he and Eksi sat down around the large camp fire, both with satisfied looks on their faces. “Or I am seeing double. I don’t know.”
“Actually, I think a lot of people have already left. At least, the dastardly Void Lords are already gone…” Letharus was also in somewhat high spirits. And he was also drunk. And oddly satisfied. “Where did Galyn, Lord Vikalos and the colossal blue spiky thing go?”
Phovos opened up another alcopop and took a glug, before turning to Letharus. “Why do some people call him Lord Vikalos? Like, Vikalos doesn’t tell people to call him that.”
“They went to go and fuck!” Eksi beamed. “Ain’t just the happy couple getting it on today! But that’s how Skyan weddings should be. Everyone getting some. It’s love for everyone and, uh, stuff like that. Although, kudos to you, Letharus, you kissed Litvir and that was cute as fuck.”
“A small, drunken, almost accidental kiss is, like, the least I can offer. I would not be here and I would not be happy, had it not been for the Thantir!” Letharus declared, before hiccuping and downing his drink. “Also Litvir literally stopped me from killing myself. So, yes. A kiss is what he deserves. Although I admittedly have not… done anything at all romantic or sexual since… Hm. That is not appropriate. My thoughts towards Retvik are not appropriate either.”
Telecharm shrugged. “Friend, Eksi here is working his way through every single person called Teekay he can find.”
“Still, it seems… I do not know, somewhat weird… Doubly since Retvik reminds me of… Hmph… The sexual openness around here is unusual.” Letharus tutted. “Maybe I just do not understand Skyavok culture. A race like you Skyavok did not exist while I was alive and mortal. And you all seem very, uh, horny. I am sorry for saying that.”
“Eh, it’s fine and absolutely true! Plus, the happy couple have been at it for…” Eksi glanced at his wristband. “Wow. An hour and a half.”
“Is that long?” Akah accidentally muttered, before realizing he didn’t want to know but Eksi was going to tell him anyway, and probably in great detail.
Eksi grinned. Akah didn’t like that. “For us? Oh, yeah, definitely! If you know what you’re doing, which, I can plainly say, I do, you can make a Skyan orgasm twice in two minutes. Threan-type Retha are a tad more tricky, you’re a lot, um, smaller, so I have to be careful and not smash your walls too hard and you guys only seem to be able to have one orgasm at a time. With Rethans like Elkay, it depends on if you’re giving or receiving. If you’re giving, your animal brain tells you to keep on going until your partner explodes, and if your partner is, for example, a Skyavok, who can orgasm without ejaculating, well, you might be at it for a while. That being said, I don’t know what it’s like for Kronospasts like Tenuk, but Elksia’s a Vrekan, and they just keep on going and going.”
Kaytee and Five, two of the six members of the League of the Loop (the other four were all sleeping off their drunkenness), both frowned, but Telecharm seemed unbothered.
“Eksi, mate, too much information.”
“True information though!” Telecharm shrugged some more. “You and Skyan Teekay are way better endowed and much deeper than us Threan-type Retha all are.”
Letharus sighed. “It WAS too much information, but it was also information that I am glad to be aware of because now I know that Astrans and Rethans might be compatible.”
Eksi turned to Letharus. “Dude, do you want to fuck Litvir or something?”
Letharus took a deep breath, took a large glug of his drink, then took another deep breath. “I want to sleep with both of them. Back in Deathven Sector Ypsilon where I work, there are very few Vokanics like myself. It is fine for Kallis, he never fit anywhere and settled down with some strange, cute lizard lady, and weirdly, my former master has changed for the better and found new allies. But I am quite alone.”
“If you’re alone, can’t you move to a sector where there are more beings like you?” Phovos suggested.
“Or you could join us Thantir?” Akah also suggested.
“Hah, no, I would not have a use here. You already have two excellent Psions.”
Phovos glanced at Eksi and giggled. “No, we have one excellent Psion and one complete and utter cuntbag!”
Kaytee nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Phovos is right. Plus, like, Eksi and Litvir are often too busy to do proper grief counselling. Vikalos tries as well but he and Saahro are retraining to do the anti-corruption stuff that Retvik and Pah do. We have room for a third Psion.”
Letharus fell silent. “Hm. Maybe I will… think about it. For now, I just want to enjoy the atmosphere.”
“Fair enough!” Eksi grinned, before suddenly peering over his shoulder. “Oh, hiya, Galyn! How’s your butt?”
Galyn stared at Eksi. Eksi didn’t really fear Galyn, he didn’t really fear anyone apart from Elksia, Elkay and Phovos these days, but he was blatantly aware that he had just seen and said too much, and had upset the elder Decay Lord.
“Uh… sorry… How are Vikalos and Itaviir?” Eksi changed his question.
Galyn hesitated, disappeared briefly then returned with four bottles of beer. “Asleep. Vikalos is satisfied. Itaviir is blackout drunk. I think Itaviir has a bit of a drinking problem…” Galyn then turned to Letharus. “I apologise, Letharus, we have not spoken properly since you got here.”
“It is not a problem?” Letharus half-heartedly shrugged. “I will be honest, it is nice seeing you all. Has been a pleasant break from my work.”
“And how is Kallis?”
“Kallis is well. Funnily enough, he is planning on getting married at some point. When he makes the arrangements, he did mention that he wanted to invite you, uh… old Thantir? Middling Thantir? You, Litvir and Retvik. And Arkay too, if he was still with us.”
“Huh. Well, that would be nice. I wish the poor little guy the best. Being a Life Goddess hybrid is not fun.”
“Speaking of Life Goddesses…” Akah suddenly butted in. “Atuho mentioned something about how he thought Vikalos was part Life Goddess?”
“Where did those two go anyway?” Phovos interrupted. “That blue Lanex-like being was acting insanely thirsty for you, Akah.”
“They had to head back to their pit stop. Apparently someone crashed into it and Atuho needed to help with repairs…” Akah frowned. “Which sucks, because I was having a lot of fun chatting with Atuho. Didn’t have fun talking with Khalia, but eh… But yes, Atuho said he thought Vikalos was a little… too powerful or something.”
Telecharm nodded too. “That weird silver Voidborn said something similar.”
Galyn blinked. “Vikalos is not a Life Goddess in any way though. He is a standard Decayon. Sure, Vikalos is more powerful than most but he isn’t a Life Goddess.”
Phovos tutted. “Vikalos can create a hammer space the same way I can, he can summon objects out of thin air and has a mastery of located object teleportation better than I do. That’s all pretty Life Goddess-y.”
“True, but those are not Life Goddess-exclusive abilities. Vikalos is… utterly ancient, older than Itaviir and myself, older than most of the Phantai and certainly older than pretty much every other member of the Thantir!” Galyn explained. “He has had a long, long time to pick up and practice his skills. Vikalos is not a Life Goddess, he is perfect as he is and I would not have him any other way.”
“Aw… that’s actually really sweet! Also…” Eksi smiled, but abruptly stopped. “Also… Alright, my filter is completely fucking broken. I think maybe I need a nap or something.”
“You want some company?” Five, Kaytee and Telecharm all asked in unison.
“You three… offering?”
The three Teekays all grinned. They all got up, grabbed Eksi by the arms and dragged him off to Kaytee’s sleeping quarters, not giving Eksi the chance to argue.
“Hmph. Thank the void…” Galyn grunted as everything calmed down. “Eksi really needs to better control his powers.”
Letharus seemed confused. “Eksi seems… to know too much, somehow? I do not understand him.”
“He has a strange metaphysical ability to know things that he should not be capable of knowing, on top of his utterly broken psionic powers.”
“Ah, I see…” Letharus trailed off. “I have some more questions though. Why did Elkay wander around after the wedding holding that bouquet, why did he awkwardly give it to the friendly female Time Drake and why did she freak out, then grab the strange, blue shapeshifter person and run off?”
Phovos snorted. “Elksia and Tenuk have had a thing going on for a while. If you get invited back for another wedding, it’ll probably be for those two.”
“Huh…” Letharus fell silent, thinking to himself again. “You new Thantir are very nice. Maybe… maybe I will consider joining you all properly at some point after all…”