Godly Cell Chat

“You do not look too well…”

“Could say the same about you…”

Retvik sat up, kicking his legs over the edge of the bed so he could better see his visitor. While the Thantophor was considered by many to be a terrifying monster, only vaguely resembling a Rethavok or similar Threanic being, Retvik had only ever seen the small, yellow Skyavok that he had met while on holiday in Portalia, nearly fifty years ago.

“Well, things haven’t been going well for either of us…” Arkay sighed, sitting down next to Retvik. “Granted, I’m a death god, my existence is fine compared to the fact that you’re locked away in here, but that’s life, I guess. Where’s all your stuff?”

Retvik glanced around, then sighed. His bedside table was the last thing to be taken away. Now all he had was a bed and a chair.

“I keep on trying to escape. I do not want to be here. I miss sunlight.”

“You miss a lot of things…” Arkay sighed again, twiddling his fingers. “I was going to bust you out of here. Take you away to a nice little island with all the things you need and want.”

“I assume there is a reason why you have not done that yet?” Retvik grunted. “Because I would very much like to get out of here.”

“Yeah, I know… But if I just take you away, then Kenon will hunt us both down, snatch you away again and shove you back into a cage. Then I’ll have to bust you out again, then he’ll snatch you back, and you’ll spend the rest of your natural life as the ball in a retarded, godly game of ping pong. Neither of us want that.”

Retvik sighed, acknowledging that Arkay was right but not wanting to discuss it further. “And what about you? Why are you so glum?”

Arkay didn’t reply at first. He clicked his teeth together, but because the dark, shiny fangs in his mouth were made of some sort of metal, they didn’t make the noise Retvik expected them to make. Arkay’s eyes briefly focused on the other side of the room, before going back to Retvik.

“I’m supposed to be a god but I have pretty much no control over anything. Everyone just goes ahead and does stuff without telling me, and the rules keep on changing.”

“Is that not… a normal thing that happens all the time for you?” Retvik asked.

“Yeah, but sometimes I get sick of it…” Arkay closed his eyes, breathing sharply. “I feel bad, complaining while you are struggling.”

A loud bang on the door interrupted the conversation. A high-pitched squeal echoed from across the room as Trismit, the other occupant, leaped to his feet. The door shuddered, nearly juddering off its hinges, as the colossal form of Kenon burst through it.

“What are you doing here, Arkadin?”

“Talking with a friend…” Arkadin tutted. “What happened to you being nice to Retvik and treating him like a little prince?”

Kenon snarled, slamming the door shut behind him, then stomped towards Arkadin and Retvik.

“He keeps on trying to escape.”

Arkadin turned back to Retvik. “Why do you keep on trying to escape?”

Retvik blinked, not expecting Arkay to immediately move the conversation to him like that. “Uh, well, I am not fond of the bland slop he has been feeding us, I wish to be able to actually go for a walk rather than being stuck in the same few rooms all day, I miss the sun and being outside and… and… Kenon managed to convince my partner to fall in love with someone else and nearly mind-controlled him into signing unequal divorce papers.”



Arkadin closed his eyes, tapping his fingers together, hiding his anger. “You did what now, Kenon?”

“He lies. I did not force anything.”

“You literally tried to mind-control Gath into signing those papers.”

Arkadin stared at Kenon. They both knew Retvik was telling the truth. “We had a deal, Kenon. You said you would treat Retvik and Trismit well. But you haven’t been upholding your end of the deal.”

“Neither have you. You said you would not interfere, yet here you are.”

“I’m only here because you didn’t uphold your end. If you had been-”

“ALRIGHT!” Kenon snapped. “I will give Retvik what he needs. You need to stay away though, you need to butt out!”

Arkadin nodded, backing off. “That’s fine. That was part of the deal. But if I find you mistreating Retvik again, I’ll be back.”

Kenon snarled. As he did so, Retvik’s belongings began to reappear, one at a time. “Fine. But you need to leave now.”

The Thantophor shrugged, then did as he was told. He waved goodbye to Retvik, smiling just a little. “If he hurts you, you tell me, alright?”

“Will do…” Retvik nodded. “Will do…”