“I have a query…”
Retvik glanced up from his meal to see who had spoken to him. It clearly wasn’t Arkay, because Arkay was stuffing his face. Litvir though was busy peeling some sort of shellfish and putting each peeled specimen in a pile before he ate anything.
“A query?” Retvik replied as he looked around for a napkin or something. He was rather messy. And also nude. He hadn’t ever eaten super buttery shellfish with 10 different dips to choose from before and he also hadn’t done so while naked, so he couldn’t sneakily wipe his hands on his loin cloth or anything. What was more awkward that he couldn’t even wipe his hands on himself. Rethan skin was thick and rubbery and Rethan plating was hard and smooth, so wiping your hands down on either just led to spreading the mess around.
Sensing Retvik’s predicament, Litvir rolled his eyes and telekinetically handed Retvik a large paper napkin to use. Retvik finally managed to clean himself down a bit and could answer Litvir’s concerns.
“Yes, a query.”
“What sort of query?”
Litvir gestured at all the seafood around them. Assuming it even was seafood. “Why is this sort of food so common out here? Everywhere we go, there are two available meat-based meals: shellfish and meat all gound up in a way, whether it be burgers, meatballs, sausages or even just mince on its own. Any other “whole” bits of meat generally seem to be reconstructed and shaped, and proper steaks are rare.”
“I think I am the wrong person to ask…” Retvik muttered. “Admittedly, us Rethans were never big game eaters anyway.”
“Mostly because the Rethavok descended from an already rather developed species. But still, the food out here in the void is weird…” Litvir finished peeling some of his shellfish and decided he was now bored of that, so he dipped one piece of shellfish into all 10 dips at once. That turned out to not taste of much, as some of the dips overpowered others, and all Litvir got was a strong, spicy BBQ flavour. And butter.
“I suppose the better person to ask would be Arkay. But he is busy right now.”
Retvik and Litvir both glanced over to where Arkay was sitting. Except he wasn’t there. He’d gotten up to get a fourth plate of buttery shellfish. As Arkay returned, he noticed that Retvik and Litvir were looking at him.
“Are you hungry, Arkay?” Retvik asked.
Arkay looked somewhat guiltily at his plate. “Uh… a little…”
“Are you stress-eating, Arkay?” Litvir asked.
“… Yeah…”
“Why? Is something wrong?”
“I’m just… anxious. I feel like we’re being set up or something. That something weird is going on and, even with all my powers, I can’t do much about it. And when I’m anxious, I stuff my face to distract myself.”
“That is… understandable!” Litvir smiled as he patted Arkay on the shoulder. “Plus, this IS nice food. It is definitely worth stuffing our faces with. However, I do have a question and I was wondering if you could answer it.”
“Oh?” Arkay perked up. “What’s the question?”
“Litvir wanted to know why shellfish is so common out here.”
“Huh…” Arkay thought for a moment, peeled and ate some shellfish, thought some more, then finally answered. “Well, it’s more that crustaceans and similar animals just survive really well and evolve all over the place. All you need to farm such animals is a large tub of water. And this stuff is probably easily farmed literally in the void. Anything larger, like cattle, it’s easier to just make cloned meat and mince that up and reshape it to hide that it’s not natural cuts of meat.”
Litvir shrugged. “That makes sense.”
“Yeah, out here, the resources for large meat animals is-” Arkay suddenly paused. He’d heard something. He put everything down, cleaned his hands on a napkin then reached for his communicator.
“Is everything alright, Arkay?” Retvik asked, leaning forward.
Arkay didn’t answer at first. He was clearly reading something. But he soon seemed to settle down.
“Yeah, things are… alright. I got an email from Deathven.”
Litvir snorted. “He really does not like phone calls, does he?”
“Clearly. Don’t blame him though, he probably gets inundated with calls all the time…” Arkay muttered, still scanning the email. “Well I do have some good news. Deathven got back to me about what happened.”
“Oh?” Litvir exclaimed. “Was it a trap in the end?”
Arkay rolled his eyes. “Nope. It’s far stupider.”
“How can it be more stupid than us going to meet some Voidborns that did not exist?” Retvik grunted.
“Hah…” Arkay nervously laughed. “It turns out, that guy who led that group of Voidborns didn’t get in touch with the local Divine Guardian and Kronothax groups and a bunch of Divine Guardians went by and forced the Voidborns to respawn because they considered them a threat.”
Litvir and Retvik both blinked.
“Really?”
“According to Deathven’s associate, yeah.”
More blinking.
“Well, that is really, really stupid…” Retvik muttered. “We came all the way out here for nothing.”
“Not for nothing!” Litvir countered. “We got a free hotel stay! A weird, naked hotel stay at a water park, but a hotel stay nonetheless! Although, as an aside, I find it weird how many beings are happy to wander around with their genitalia out, and how no one is looking. Nyssi does not have a problem being nude, but the two Raptors would not be seen dead wandering around naked.”
Arkay shrugged. “People who come here want to be naked and most folks have already seen it all anyway.”
“That is true. So, Arkay, did Deathven say we are done now?”
“Yeah. He doesn’t need us here any more.”
Retvik and Litvir both smiled.
“Wonderful!” Litvir beamed. “Let us enjoy our time here, then head back home. What do you both think?”
“I think that is a very good idea,” Retvik nodded in agreement. “We might as well make the most out of this stupidity…”