“Alright, we’ve nearly arrived, but before we park up and stuff, we need to go through a few things.”
Arkay felt naked and exposed, mostly because he somewhat was. Well, he was completely naked, disguised as a Life Goddess. Thankfully, Arkay was pretending to be a Life Goddess from the Patagenic Pentacluster, and no one really knew what Life Goddesses from there looked like (they were quite varied, if one took Sini, Epani and Phovos, the three Life Goddesses Arkay knew personally, as examples of Patagenic Life Goddesses) so Arkay wasn’t completely naked, but he currently had a pair of breasts and was borrowing Litvir’s telepathy, so he kept on picking up thoughts from his companions.
“Of course, Arkay. What do we need to go through?” Retvik had been very calm and gentle so far, doing his best to keep Arkay calm as well. Litvir had mostly been fine, but he was badly hiding his desire to poke Arkay in the chest. Litvir had always had a problem with overwhelming curiosity.
“Basically, we’re going to have to up the acting to eleven. I’m going to have to pretend to be a pretty princess and you two will need to act like my slaves. We’ll have to ham it up a lot, to make me seem like an asshole.”
“Well, more of a bitch, but yes!” Litvir smiled. “Do not fret, Arkay. You may be a good soul, but you have me hanging around.”
“Litvir, you’re hardly anything compared to most Life Goddesses.”
“No, not at all, but I make for a good base point. Although I suppose your step-sisters would make for even better bases to mould a personality on. The question is, do you go cold and cruel like Epani or fucking lunatic like Yisini?”
“Definitely more like Yisini…” Retvik muttered. “We are going to a party where everyone will be naked. Epani was never a traditionally naked Life Goddess.”
“She was a giant cetian being though, yes?” Litvir asked back. “She was always technically naked.”
“Yes, but not in a bare-breasted way, the way Yisini is. I do very much think we all ought to think like Yisini.”
Arkay frowned. “Well, I definitely do. But you two, I think you’re going to have to act like Kenon.”
Both Retvik and Litvir gave Arkay funny looks.
“You mean, acting as a hideous dictator who mentally enslaves others and cheerfully beats people to death?”
“You mean, acting like a monkey’s paw, offering desires and wishes but with downsides normally including permanent servitude?”
Arkay rolled his eyes. “I more meant like a vaguely jealous and overprotective partner.”
“Oh…” Retvik frowned too. “I guess I can do that. But perhaps we are just better off being silent guardians? That way, if someone questions us or our motives, we have nothing to say?”
Litvir thought for a moment, then shrugged. “That might actually be a better idea. That way, we will not talk. But it does depend on whether the Life Goddesses are separate from their guardians.”
“I’m not sure, to be honest. I’ve only been to one Life Goddess party that I can remember and while we weren’t completely separate, Kinisis did keep on telling me to fuck off and try and socialise. So I don’t think I can rely on having you two by my side the entire time. We’ll definitely be separated occasionally. And that means I’ll probably…” Arkay paused, then hesitated and sighed. “Litvir, I’m going to have to borrow your psionic powers.”
Litvir’s smile faded. “Ah. I see.”
“Is that an issue?” Retvik asked.
“No… not really…” Litvir was hesitant too now. “We just need to be a bit careful and not accidentally kill everyone. But I assume Life Goddesses are made of far firmer stuff than a bunch of Decayon pirates in the middle of trying to crucify me. Although I’m… kinda concerned that people are going to try and touch you, what with you being… breasts out.”
Arkay sighed some more. “I’m worried about that too. I don’t think people will be touchy without consent, but they’ll be pushy. I’m expecting a lot of pressure to be sexual. And I don’t know if they’ll be pushy towards you two as well. For all I know, they might try make you do things too.”
“We can always say no…” Retvik trailed off. “Do we even have an actual plan?”
“Somewhat. The plan is to find this big fancy Life Goddess, try and stay close to her, and then Arkay and I use my stupidly weird telepathy to scan everything for anything abnormal. If someone is planning to kill anyone, we would notice rather quickly. Few folks can hide murderous intent.”
Retvik eyed Litvir. “This is a very basic plan.”
“Well, to be fair, both Deathven and Zizari gave us very little to work on. All we can do is try our best.”
“Hang on!” Arkay exclaimed. “What if Zizari is the potential killer?”
Retvik and Litvir glanced at each other but they both shrugged.
“That would be too obvious.”
“Also I would have picked up the intent,” Litvir added. “But anyway, I think for the mean time, Retvik and I will just pretend to be your loyal servants, and Arkay, you will do the talking. So leave any and all activities and duties to us. Also, this is an opportunity to have Retvik and I pamper you and give you what you want. It will be more realistic. We will look after you, right, Retvik?”
“Of course.”
Arkay took a deep breath, then settled down. “Yeah, you’re right. You’re almost always right. I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
“We will!” Litvir went back to being perky. “In the mean time though, Arkay, you ought to let me fly. After all, from now until we are done with this silly adventure, Retvik and I are your loyal servants who will do whatever you want.”
Arkay smiled. “That… is a good point. Alright, my darlings, Litvir, get the ship sorted out. And Retvik, fetch us some drinks. Preferably something ever so slightly alcoholic. We ought to look like party-goers as best we can…”