I am Psivee-En.
History knows me as the Defiler. I am not sure why I was given that name, but it may have been how I slaughtered many in the name of freedom. The Trehavok demanded it. The Rethavok oppressed us and would not let us live by our own laws. But we eventually failed, and for my sins, I was frozen in time.
When I woke up, my kind were dead. But worse, I was not. It turned out I was never actually a Trehavok. My true heritage was among the Threan-types, the smaller, ancient sub-race bred from the slaves of the distant past, so I had been spared from the slaughter that had driven the Trehavok to extinction.
This news drove me insane. It would drive anyone insane. As quickly as I had woken up, I’d been put back to sleep. Tranquillized and blood all over my claws.
I woke up a day later, being told of the crimes I had committed. The first being I had laid eyes on in over three thousand years, I had attacked them, clawed them open and then raped their unconscious body, only to be wrestled off them before I could end their life. I turned into a monster. I had lived up and past the title I’d been given. Three thousand years of hatred and agony were acted out on an unfortunate soul who had been accidentally teleported into my cell.
Amazingly, the poor thing lived. And not only that, but he gave birth to the child I’d forced upon him.
Since then, I have been filled with guilt. In order to repent for my sins, I have been watching him try and live his life, and protect him from the other horrors of our existence. He is my other half. The soul that I lost. Through him, I will become pure once again.
I had feared the worst when I briefly lost track of him. After having my child, my other half found himself pregnant again. Something had tainted him and taken him during the night. Not long later, a blink of my eye, several months for him, he died in childbirth.
Until I brought him back. I could not let him be taken away when he could offer so much to this universe, and to me.
Understandably, my other half could not comprehend what had happened to him. With no one else aware that he was not dead, he faded away into the shadows, believing that he was not worthy of death to end his pain. That was when I began to whisper to him. It would have driven a sane vok mad, but his already tortured mind heard my voice and considered it a friend. I guided him, far away from the world of the Rethavok, out into the depths of the local systems.
I taught him many things. I taught him how to use the abnormal power that was inside him. From my whispers, he discovered the means with which to warp the universe around him. Both magic and elemental energies were his to command. But he learned something even more valuable. He found a way to kill me.
I waited patiently for his return, knowing that I had fed the anger and hatred inside of him. But when he finally built up the courage to face me, something unusual happened. Rather than strike me down, he turned his back on me, claiming he was better than me. My superior. My other half then set off to find his child.
He was right. He IS better than me. I gave in to the shadow. He went out into the light. After our confrontation, he revealed himself to the world and went back to active duty as an L-Class Ksa. He found and spoke to all his children, and even the eldest did not accept him, the others all welcomed him with open arms, happy to finally understand why.
But most important of all, he went to find the result of our unholy mistake. Through his eyes, I finally saw the child I had created.
This child had none of my taint, not a trace of my evil soul. He looked nothing like me. The splitting image of his mother. I had never been happier, yet I had never felt so ashamed. He was perfect. Our child though, he saw past my other half. He saw me. The same way I had seen him though my other half’s eyes, he had seen me.
I stopped whispering to my other half that day.
I left them all alone and went back to the shadows. I realised that I could never be saved. My sins were unforgivable. No food, no water entered my mouth. No voice entered my ears. No light entered my eyes. Nothing but air entered my nostrils. All I could do was breathe and sleep, waiting for death to take me.
That was until I heard a voice. Not out loud, but in my mind. My other half was speaking to me, as I had spoken to him. He didn’t scream at me or curse at me. His voice was calm. Peaceful. How I’d always wanted him to be. I listened with intent, as he explained how he had changed his mind on everything, how he wanted to reshape the universe, make it better. Then he said something that resonated through me.
“I forgive you.”
Suddenly, the entrance to my cell opened up behind me. Light flooded in illuminating my world. I shied away at first, but quickly came to embrace its warmth. Standing there was my other half, welcoming me back into the real world.