Retvik sighed to himself as he watched over Savepoint. He’d had a nice day the other day, aside from a problem with an odd Voidborn, but things were otherwise going well. In fact, yesterday in particular, Retvik had been given a lot of nice treats and stuff, after folks had found out that it was technically his birthday. Litvir in particular had gone rather over the top, cooking Retvik dinner and treating him to some more naughty things. But now all of that was over, Retvik felt off.
No, Retvik didn’t feel off. He felt old. By his calculations, he was 89 years old. In a year-string, he would hit 90 and would be well and truly an older Rethan. Even if old-universe Rethans no longer really existed.
A gentle pat on Retvik’s shoulder snapped him back to reality. It was Litvir. Again. Holding another small cake. But also by his side was Arkay, who was floating in mid air.
“Hiya, babe!” Arkay beamed as he hovered around Retvik. “You alright?”
“I am, yes. Are you alright? You have been busy.”
Arkay glanced around, then shrugged. “Well, I’m kinda doing everyone’s jobs right now, and also someone tried to kill Helkas, so yeah, I’ve been busy. But I’m alright. Litvir though isn’t alright.”
Retvik turned to Litvir. “I noticed. Litvir, what is wrong with you? You have been weirdly grovel-y all day.”
Litvir sighed. “I know. I am just somewhat stuck in one of those “I do not deserve nice things or being in a relationship with Retvik” moods right now.”
“But why?” Retvik asked. “You know we both love you dearly, you know we have both forgiven you for your past sins.”
“I know, but…” Litvir gestured vaguely at Retvik. “Look at you. You are perfect. Beautiful and strong and good and nice-smelling and all that. Right now, I feel old and ugly. And I can smell myself and I do not know why, even though I have showered repeatedly.”
“You are not ugly, Litvir!” Retvik tutted. “Old, yes, but not ugly. But admittedly, my own malaise is because I also feel a little old.”
Arkay eyed both Retvik and Litvir. They eyed Arkay back.
“What?” Litvir grunted.
“Are you two really both doing the “oh no I’m old” thing again?”
Retvik glanced at Litvir, then nodded. “Yes. I will be 90 next year. I will definitely well and truly be past middle-aged. Litvir has already past the big One Hundred.”
Arkay continued to eye his partners. “You… you do realise that I am SIXTEEN BILLION YEARS OLD, right?”
“That is not the same.”
“How the fuck is that not the same?”
Retvik shrugged. “You are an ancient deity but you have always been… well, trapped, as a young to middle-aged adult Skyavok. You are the same age now as you were sixteen billion years ago when you were, uh, stolen by Kinisis.”
“I’ve definitely aged in that time though!” Arkay protested.
“Not from our point of view!” Litvir countered. “I have known you for, well, a good half a decade, Arkay, and you have barely aged.”
“Well…” Retvik hesitated. “Not from your point of view. Arkay has definitely aged from my point of view.”
“And you two actually seem younger now compared to how I remember seeing you… Well, not younger, but…” Arkay also hesitated. “You seem more confident now.”
“Well I feel older!” Retvik grunted. “It may because you are not a Rethan, Arkay and you were also a Threan-type Retha, which seemed to not live as long as other Retha, but for old-universe Rethans, 90 is the age where you are considered well and truly an adult, with no room for being child-like.”
“Just because that’s what you feel, doesn’t mean you should act it!” Arkay rolled his eyes. “We build our own realities around us. We act how we feel but we also feel how we act. Kuta is over a hundred as well but they don’t act their age and they’re happier for it. I’m fucking ancient, but I don’t act my age and I’m fine. Retvik, babe, you need to do the same. I mean, why do think I did all that stupid ice slide stuff for Itaviir for his Singles’ Party? Because he does the same thing you do, he acts old.”
Retvik seemed to settle down, but only a little. “I see what you mean. But I have the problem that I barely remember being a kid.”
“I wish I had that problem!” Litvir hissed. “I am all too regularly reminded on what I missed out on.”
“To be fair…” Retvik turned back to Litvir. “You routinely reinforce that problem by constantly speaking to new-universe you, who is a baby in a teenager’s body and also has two loving, if adopted, parents, and a little sibling they adore more than the universe they are the god of protecting.”
Litvir eyed Retvik. “Have you been reading my blog again?”
“Yes.”
“Hmph.”
Retvik grunted. “You are the one who gave me a link.”
Arkay clicked, distracting his two partners. “Alright, enough now. Retvik, I know your birthday was yesterday, but is there anything you want to do before we can’t really continue saying it’s your birthday any more?”
That sentence caught Retvik off guard. “Um… Well… I have done a lot of birthday stuff…”
“That’s true, but there’s still room for more.”
“I still owe you a birthday blowjob…” Litvir muttered.
Retvik snorted briefly. “You do not owe me a blowjob, Litvir! You have done plenty for me today. But now that you have mentioned it, I do… fancy a sandwich…”
“Like… an actual sandwich or…” Arkay started but didn’t quite finish.
“What do you think?”
“Ah… and… what do you want as the filling?”
Retvik eyed Arkay.
“Ah… you… you want me as the filling…”
“Do you mind?” Retvik smirked.
“I don’t mind, but… uh… let me go and have a quick shower, because I feel stinky. Back in a minute.”
Arkay disappeared in a puff of smoke. Retvik and Litvir glanced at each other, then shrugged.
“Shall I fetch the nice, thin condoms?” Litvir asked.
“You fetch the condoms, I will fetch the nice lube…” Retvik smiled.
“Deal.”