Tale – Tea with Not Quite Death

“Woah…”

Tenuk’s jaw fell open as he stood in the doorway. In one hand he had a box of chocolates, in the other he had a boxed selection of luxury teas. He’d nearly dropped both of them.

“What?” Arkay blinked. The Veth Prime was happily idling in a large rocking chair. A seat normally reserved for Death herself.

After an awkward second of standing there like a twat, Tenuk snapped out of his shock and entered the room properly. Arkay summoned a chair for him to sit down.

“Where’s Death?”

“Hi Arkay, how are you? Is Kinisis treating you nicely? Oh, I’m good thanks, bit tired but…” Arkay’s reply was both sarcastic and rather annoyed. “You come all this way to see her but never to see me.”

The Kronoreth shifted awkwardly. Rather than taking a seat, he put the gifts on the chair and remained standing. “She normally invites me here, and she’s always told me to avoid talking to Veth.”

“Even Veth like me?”

“Especially Veth like you. I’m not allowed to distract you from your work.”

Arkay rolled his eyes, then glanced at the box of chocolates. “Are those for Kinisis?”

Tenuk nodded. “They are. But where is she? She asked me to come here a couple of weeks ago. And if the Mistress of the Cycle says come here, it’s never a good idea to refuse her demands.”

“She’s asleep,” Arkay sighed. “She snores, really loudly. I haven’t slept since she went to sleep. I actually never really realised that she never really goes to sleep unless she hands everything over to someone else to run subconsciously. It’s a really weird feeling, to be honest.”

“Wait, you’re running the whole universe?”

“No. Just the cycle stuff.”

“Is that why you look like a galaxy about to go to a BDSM convention?”

Arkay blinked in confusion. This the second time in the last ten minutes that he’d blinked in confusion. “What?”

“You look like a galaxy going to a BDSM convention,” Tenuk repeated himself. “The star-scattered look, the vast number of belts you are wearing…”

“What’s BDSM?”

Tenuk sighed and gave up. “You look weird.”

“This is what happens when you’re subconsciously running a universe. You get all covered in stars and galaxies and stuff,” Arkay explained. “The belts are to stop me from overloading and blowing up. The collar around my neck stops my head from exploding and the universe dying.”

Tenuk didn’t know how to respond to that, so he picked up the box of chocolates, opened it up and offered them to Arkay. Arkay took one at random, took a bite out of it and realised it was a hard toffee. He chewed on it anyway, since he did kinda like toffee. Not as much as other sweets though.

“So what’s BDSM?” Arkay asked again, his mouth clogged up with caramel.

“Uh…” Tenuk hesitated. “It’s a silly thing. To do with being restrained and tied up and slaves and masters and things like that.”

“Like roleplaying?”

“Roleplaying with sex, yes…” Tenuk shook his head. “How is it that you’re sitting here, running the whole universe, and you don’t know basic sexual fetish stuff?”

Arkay shrugged. “I don’t really NEED to know about that. Not exactly required information when it comes to maintaining this place… Although I hope Kinisis wakes up soon. This is making me pretty tired.”

“Can’t you just go to sleep?”

The Veth Prime shuddered. “I’ve been sitting around doing nothing for the last week or so. I’m too scared to do anything because I don’t want to inadvertently destroy part of the universe… again… Are you not sticking around?” Arkay suddenly changed the subject. “You haven’t sat down.”

“I… I wasn’t planning on staying long. I have a date tonight and, well, I’d forgotten about my meeting with Death and I was worried I’d screwed up. I bought the chocolates and the gift for Death to appease her. I can’t say no to Death but… I’m really looking forward to this date…”

Arkay smiled and stood up. “Well, I won’t keep you here. You should go and keep your obligations to your fellow mortals. After all, you’ve got forever to spend with us. I’ll tell Kinisis you stopped by.”

Tenuk bowed, then quickly headed off. “Thank you, Arkay. Have a nice day!”

“You too,” Arkay grinned as he helped himself to more chocolate. “Enjoy your date!”