The following is an uncut transcript of the first of four interviews, after the Dessaron’s existence was made public. This transcript contains material that was not aired.
Cameravok: Recorder is hot. We’ll record the intro separately then start the interview. Understood?
Kazix: Yes.
Cameravok: Ready to record intro. Counting down. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six…
Kazix: Good evening, fellow vok. Tonight on Interviews With Kazix, we have a very special guest. As you all know, last week, the High General made public the identities of the Dessaron, four Retha who had disappeared many years ago, only to suddenly reappear and defeat a horde of malicious Zonta. Over the next few days, I will be talking to these beings. We’ll be starting off with the youngest of the four Dessaron, Arkay Theanon. [Pause] You have that?
Cameravok: Yes.
Kazix: Alright. Are you ready, Arkay?
Arkay: I guess.
Kazix: You have done this before though, right?
Arkay: Not really. Ksa don’t speak to the cameras, their guard targets do. But I intend to ignore the cameras.
Kazix: We can cut and remove anything you don’t like afterwards.
Arkay: Yes, your company lawyers already explained this to me.
Kazix: Ah good.
Cameravok: Ready to record interview. Counting down. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six…
Kazix: Arkay, it is a pleasure to meet you.
Arkay: It is a pleasure to meet you too.
Kazix: As you can probably guess, everyone has a lot of questions for you. Where did you go? What did you see? We’ll start at the beginning though. The last time you were seen, you were a K-Class Ksa in the service of the Vice General. But what about now? Who are you?
Arkay: I am still a Rethan, I am still a K-Class Ksa, I will still give my life for my fellow vok, off-duty or otherwise.
Kazix: Have you not changed in your 12 year disappearance?
Arkay: I have, but not in ways I can explain. Everything is different but still the same, sort of? I haven’t gotten used to not working all the time.
Kazix: What actually happened to you while you were gone?
Arkay: I… I don’t know if I can say.
Kazix: You have been told you can’t speak about it?
Arkay: No no no… Like, I barely understand what happened myself. I was super surprised to find out only 12 years had passed. So much happened and some of it really dragged on.
Kazix: What dragged on?
Arkay: Well fighting in the Great Deitic War felt a lot longer than it did during history lessons. We’re all trained soldiers, but even the destruction of Thre-Sypria was nothing compared to that last, horrible battle. Seven hours doesn’t seem long but I’d like to see any other Threan-type hold shields for that long. And all the nasty stuff always drags on. Particularly the torture parts.
Kazix: You were tortured?
Arkay: A lot. This whole thing started with Deitics capturing vok to practice torture on! Deitics like torture. Love it even. They are very good at it. I am thankful I was trained against common torture practices, but that didn’t help much. I can’t say that I am as pure though. We tortured Deitics for information. If we hadn’t… We probably wouldn’t be sitting here. They got their own though, after we ended the war and the contracts were signed. That… That was horrible.
Kazix: I assume that has left some very nasty memories.
Arkay: Obviously… I spent a lot of those times wishing I was a Trehan-type. Still do.
Kazix: Has all of this Dessaron business negatively affected you?
Arkay: Hah… [long pause] It has basically ruined me. I don’t think I’ll even be able to re-integrate back into society. Everyone seems to think I will, but I have done this for most of my memorable life!
Kazix: You don’t have a life to go back to?
Arkay: The Vice General let me go. Said I was too dangerous to have as an active Ksa. I can’t go back to that.
Kazix: Why did you choose to be interviewed first?
Arkay: Choose? HAH. No. I didn’t choose. None of us wanted to do this. I don’t think you’ll be able to drag Tenuk into doing this at all.
Kazix: You were forced into doing this?
Arkay: The High General’s orders. He wanted us to show we were just like the rest of you, which we certainly are not. We couldn’t decide who would go first so somevok brought in five kilos of candy floss and whoever ate the least had to go first. Stupid fucking idea. He wants us to belong to everyone, not just the Retha like the council wanted. What better way of doing that than by getting us to go public?
Kazix: You have no choice in the matter then.
Arkay: None at all. I don’t like any of this. I just want to go back to serving the Vice General and I can’t. My life has been two things. Being a Dessaron and being K-Class. I was piloting General Elkay’s ship at the age of five. I was his left guard. I sacrificed myself so you all still had a Vice General and as horrible as being a Dessaron is, I would do it all again.
Kazix: But why put yourself through that?
Arkay: It’s all I know. I… [long pause]
Kazix: Are you alright? [pause] Arkay?
Arkay: [muttering] By the Light…
Kazix: Do you want to stop? We can stop recording if you want. I understand how hard this must have been for you.
Arkay: You don’t have a fucking clue. No vok fucking does! You all think the Deitic War was all quick and easy because of our Rethan military might but it fucking well wasn’t. I watched a single Deitic make fifty Threan-types explode and there was nothing I could do about it. Then when I was free I hunted that Deitic down and made him watch as I stabbed his partner to death before dragging him back to our base and tearing his head off in front of a horde of cheering Thanatians. And that’s just one thing I did.
Kazix: I don’t judge you for doing that. I think anyone would have done the same in your place.
Arkay: You don’t know that.
Kazix: I bet everything I own that even the High General would have done the same. Perhaps worse.
Arkay: But he hasn’t done it. I did all of that. I accidentally killed all those Deitics while we were trying to save Tenuk. I killed that Deitic that had enslaved an entire Thanatian village. I decapitated six Deitics for threatening to disintegrate beings. I killed and I killed and I killed.
Kazix: It was war time though, is that not to be expected of you?
Arkay: It all still looms in the back of my mind.
Kazix: I am sure it will improve over time.
Arkay: I hope so.
Kazix: It will. You’ve made it this far. [pause] What of your family and friends?
Arkay: Oh Light, don’t remind me. [long pause] I found out that the vok I wanted to spend my life with quickly gave up on my return and instead fell in love with my younger brother. Neither of them speak to me now. Most of the K-Class don’t. It’s really just three, Teekay, and Psiksi and Arksi from the Ξ-Class Ksa.
Kazix: What about other family?
Arkay: I… You’re really good at changing the subject and keeping me from getting angry…
Kazix: It comes with the job. I’ve spoken to plenty of people who have been through some hellish things. But I also trust that you’ll say what you want to say and get it off your chest rather than being violent.
Arkay: Considering you’re talking to someone who’s killed gods…
Kazix: I have no reason to be afraid. This is all voluntary.
Arkay: I guess. But I don’t really know much about the rest of my family. I don’t really want to know. The Dessaron are my family now. I grew up with them.
Kazix: What do you plan on doing now?
Arkay: I… Again, I don’t really know. I have, like, a month on break. But the idea of doing nothing feels so… foreign to me. Retvik has plans and he is basically looking after me right now.
Kazix: You should take advantage of this free time.
Arkay: I guess…
Kazix: Do you have any hobbies or anything? What do you enjoy doing?
Arkay: I like Thrope things. I had a couple of silly Thrope electric ‘video’ games, and Thrope music. Maybe I’ll ask Geekay if he has them. Tenuk said he knows a somethrope who might be able to help too. Maybe build up a proper collection or something.
Kazix: That sounds good. What about after your break?
Arkay: I don’t have a clue. Probably just find a job and do that. Or just do whatever the others want. I do not want to think that far ahead.
Kazix: You have a lot to catch up on.
Arkay: I do.
Kazix: Is there anything you’d like to say before we wrap this up?
Arkay: Um… Apart from actively avoiding four-eyed Vohra wannabes? Well… I guess I’d say, don’t waste your kidhood. You’ll really regret it.
Kazix: Is that it?
Arkay: There’s more, but, heh, that is to be kept privately.
Kazix: Very well. Thank you for taking the time to speak to us, and I really do hope that things get better for you.
Arkay: Thank you too. This has helped more than you’d think.
Cameravok: Recorder is cold.
Arkay: Is that it?
Kazix: I don’t want to keep you for too long.
Arkay: I guess… But I am being honest, it’s helped getting that off my mind.
Kazix: Do you want to stick around?
Arkay: I’d… rather not. Tired of these cameras. Plus I am feeling hungry. You have no idea how much I have eaten since we arrived here.
Kazix: Understandable. Here are my contact details, if you want to talk. I’m a trained psychiatrist, so if you need to speak but don’t know where to go, I’m always happy to help.
Arkay: Thank you…
Kazix: No worries. Stay safe, Arkay.
Arkay: You too, Kazix.