Godly Tea and Biscuits

Kinisis smiled as she placed various plates of biscuits and cookies on the table. She may not have been in the best of moods, but biscuits and a hot chocolate drink always made her feel better. Also at the table were Epani, Kairos and Kenon, who were all waiting patiently for the other deities to arrive.

“So, uh…” Kairos had been attempting small talk for about an hour now but had no idea what to say. Thankfully, just as he was about to fail to start a conversation, Yisini finally appeared, holding what appeared to be a wooden door.

“Any of you bitches know where Arkadin is?” Yisini grumbled, leaning the wooden door against the side of the table. “I went to his little place again and it was trashed. Again. Like a fricking tornado went through there.”

Epani grunted, telekinetically helping herself to a biscuit and taking a large bite out of it. “Oh, is Arkadin missing again? What a surprise. Oh no, it is so strange that the infantile death god is not at his house and has made a mess again.”

“That is a little harsh… and actually rather unlike you!” Kinisis exclaimed. She pulled out a chair so Yisini could sit down, then stared at the empty space. “You are not normally so angry towards Arkadin!”

The Panelix grunted some more. “We are all a little on edge, mother, because your husband here has claimed one of the most powerful species around as one of his own, doing so as a tyrant rather than a patron deity. It is bad enough making sure my beloved Vohra can dig in peace what with Kairos’s Kronospasts and Yisini’s Temthans running around, but Kenon taking over the Rethavok? That is a whole new level of mean.”

“Actually, I wanted to ask about that!” Yisini chirped in. “I thought the Rethavok were Arkadin’s race?”

“That’s what I thought!” Kairos added. “At the very least, wasn’t that corner of the universe under Arkadin’s surveillance?”

Everyone turned their attention to Kenon, who was clearly having a little trouble with his new, Rethavok form, trying to take a dainty sip of his cup of hot chocolate.

“You are all looking at me as if I have done something wrong.”

“Have you?” Kinisis asked.

“Of course not!”

“Where is Arkadin then?”

Kenon shrugged. “I do not know.”

“Surely you do.”

With another shrug, Kenon put his drink down and snatched a biscuit from the nearest plate, taking a bite out of it and dropping crumbs in front of him. He dusted the crumbs away, then tutted. “I am being genuinely honest here, I have not seen Arkadin since the 30th of Dekem. He entered my palace, threatened me then clawed at me when I gave him an answer he did not like. I retaliated and he slithered off to lick his wounded pride, I assume.”

Kairos leaned forward, not quite believing Kenon’s words. “He attacked you?”

“Yes, Whenvern, he did. I was quite surprised myself. If Arkadin really did care about the Rethavok, why did he not become their patron deity long before I drew interest in them?” Kenon sighed, taking another biscuit. “I feel rather attacked right now.”

“You mind-controlled an entire race!” Epani hissed, throwing her fins up in frustration. “We at least have the decency to create religions and manipulate governments and at least give the illusion that the mortals have some sort of control!”

The Voidlord shrugged. “The mind-control is just temporary, just to gain initial power. I will slowly ease off them. But I do not understand why you are all so angry at me. Kairos bribed the Kronospasts into following his word, Yisini threatened the Temthans into worshiping her. I am not sure what you did, Epani, but I am sure your intentions are truly for the best, yes? Not like those adult male Vohra, whatever they are called, really needed the ability to speak, yes?”

Epani gave up, not having an argument ready to counteract Kenon’s words. Instead, she got up from the table, snarling. “Whatever. I just hope that Arkadin does not come back and take his frustrations out on us.”

“I doubt he would…” Yisini sighed. “He’s probably just having one of his dumb little sulks again… We’ll see him in a few weeks, he’ll have made some new mortal buddies and he’ll be fine.”

“Oh, most likely!” Kenon smiled. “I am sure he is fine. After all, I retaliated in the least threatening way possible. We have gone on too long, straining our relationship with our youngest.”

Kinisis eyed Kenon anxiously, while downing her drink. “Are you… sure… you are telling the truth?”

“I swear, on the life of myself and my darling Rethavok, I am telling you the truth. I do not know where Arkadin went, and if he cannot deal with a retaliatory slap across the face for attacking me the way he did, then he needs to sort that out himself.”

Kinisis continued to eye Kenon, then suddenly shrugged and jumped up from her seat. “Well, alright! Now who wants lunch?”