“Hm…”
Retvik looked up from his desk. He was busy going through exam papers, looking at various test score results. It wasn’t really that important a thing that needed doing, but Retvik needed something boring to do after a somewhat busy day of Corruption removals. Apparently a group of Pentathax soldiers bit off more than they can chew, and it was suddenly all hands on deck to get them fixed up. Luckily, everyone had pulled through and no one was permanently hurt or injured, but one of them may have needed therapy.
The test results though, that was calming to Retvik. He would never admit it publicly, but Retvik often enjoyed basic paperwork. It felt normal. And since Retvik had never really lived a normal life, those little slices of normality soothed Retvik at times. And right now, Retvik was having… many thoughts.
“Hm?”
Retvik looked up. He realised he wasn’t alone. Litvir was also present, leaning back on his chair, feet resting on his desk, utterly relaxed and oddly satisfied.
“What?” Retvik grunted.
“You are thinking thoughts.”
“I am always thinking thoughts. Is that not how brains work? Also, you seem happy.”
Litvir shrugged. He was watching the security cameras currently. Not because he needed to, but because he was secretly spying on Arkay, who was on guard patrol in his large Beh’evok-like form. Both Litvir and Retvik found Arkay rather attractive like that, in a different way. In a “hold me in your muscular arms” way. Retvik could tell that Litvir was also thinking thoughts.
“I am happy because we did a good job today!” Litvir smiled. “But also I had a filling meal. A filling psionic meal. I am not normally someone who just magically and telepathically fixes things, but today’s potential trauma was much more easily and more immediately fixed by me eating those emotions than having to do proper therapy.”
Retvik didn’t understand Litvir’s reasoning, so he just nodded in agreement. “Fair, I guess.”
“You though, you are thinking different thoughts!”
“I guess…” Retvik put down the test results he was looking at.
“You are thinking…” Litvir’s smile faded slightly, before fading completely. “I do not know if I can do that.”
The sheet of paper Retvik was holding gave it away. He grunted, then decided to speak properly. “Helkas has been doing insanely well on his Decayling studies. I am very proud of how well he is doing, despite how young he is and how we found him.”
“Helkas is not that young. He and Arkay are of similar ages. You are just… confused, because Helkas looks young, looks Threanic and also looks a bit like you. I mean, it does not help that Helkas is red-plated and has a fiery sheen to his abilities. That triggers those damn “you want to be a mum” instincts in you.”
“I mean…” Retvik sighed. “That is true. But also Helkas is… just a kid.”
“He is not a kid.”
“He is.”
“He has reverted to a younger adolescent form.”
“He is still a kid!” Retvik protested. “He needs guidance!”
Litvir sighed. “We are giving him guidance. We will help him grow. But we are also getting overly attached to him. To the point that you are showing biases.”
“Yes, but…” Retvik hesitated briefly. “I know I do not have telepathy, but I know how you feel. And I know how Arkay feels. You both feel similarly!”
“Similarly, yes, but not the same. You want to be a mother. You cannot be Helkas’s mother, because Helkas already has a mother who is probably mourning for him. The best you can do is be a gentle guiding guardian. An adult Helkas can rely on, but that is it. If Helkas wishes to have a father, Helkas needs to come to that decision himself and he then needs to choose someone himself. We cannot force anything on him, all we can do is give him the support he needs.”
“I… I guess…” Retvik relented. “But my question is, why do you and Arkay feel similarly?”
Litvir thought for a moment. “Well, Arkay does not feel similarly. Arkay is just desperate to help a Synaisthyn survive and thrive, and he also desperately does not want Helkas to suffer the way he and Elkay did. In fact, his and Elkay’s feelings on the matter are identical, because Helkas is or could be proof that Synaisthyns do not need to be tortured, broken souls in order to exist, outside of that initial… whatever Arkay calls it.”
“What about you though?”
Litvir didn’t answer at first. He considered lying, but quickly decided against it and chose to be honest instead. “I… I somewhat feel the same way you do.”
“You do?” Retvik blinked. “But…”
“I know, I know! It sounds insane! Especially considering what I said about kids. I do not want a baby. I do not want either of us to lay, I do not want to create something genetically related to me. I also do not want to raise a dirty, messy child. But helping you raise a teenager? Helping a teenager have a happy life that I could not have? I can somewhat imagine it through other formats, but helping someone achieve that in real time would be… nice. That would be a good thing. That… that… I could do that. But, the same way Arkay is a damaged person, so am I. I cannot force myself into being a guardian for Helkas. We HAVE to let him choose his family, as he has a chance to do so. And also, his mother is not dead.”
“As far as we know.”
Litvir paused again. “We… we should speak to Syklas. Or maybe send someone to speak to her.”
“How comes?”
“We ought to let her know that her child is safe and we are looking after them.”
Retvik shrugged, then nodded in agreement. “Perhaps tomorrow we should send a ship. We cannot send any normal Decayons though, and I do not think we can go ourselves. And while Arkay could probably do things the cleanest, I… I am not sure.”
“Not sure about what?”
A large, bright yellow Beh’evok entered the room, but it quickly turned back into normal-sized Arkay.
“Litvir and I think we ought to speak to Life Goddess Syklas and inform her of her kid.”
“I can do that. I… I have questions for Syklas, I want to check that area for Corruption and stuff anyway, and my Synaisthyn-y ways means I don’t trigger anti-periuniversal-entity protections. So I can just go tomorrow or something.”
Retvik smiled. “Well, alright then! In the mean time, Litvir and I are finished with work. Arkay, would you like to go star-gazing with us?”
Arkay couldn’t help but smile back. “I’d love to.”