Tale – A Weird Varga Thingy

Well, something finally managed to snap Arkay out of his sulking, and it wasn’t me. I spent a whole… I have no idea how long. There’s no time here. No night or day. It’s always dusk or something. There’s no sun though. There are stars, there are lots and lots of stars, but there’s no sun. No way to orientate myself either. But yeah, I spent ages trying to get Arkay to stop crying. And I failed miserably.

Then things started to happen, while Arkay sat there. I realised that I could grow a pair of wings and glide around when the blue bastard of the Colourful Six pushed me off a cliff. I think the bastard wanted me to learn how to swim, but instincts took over, I opened my arms and legs to slow my fall and boom, I had wings. Just gliding wings, mind you. I wasn’t at all very mobile. I tried to aim myself so I’d land gracefully in front of Arkay but I ended up crashing and landing in a lump a few meters away.

But by the time I got back up to the cliff so I could punch that blue bastard in the face, the Colourful Six were gone. One of them had left a note but it was in a language I couldn’t understand, so it was useless to me.

I decided to wait around for a bit. They came back, but only briefly, to pick up some stuff. I got my chance to punch the blue one in the face, and none of them stopped me. They were clearly aware that he or she was a bastard who shouldn’t have done that. The red one though, it said that Death wanted them to fight something. An Ostar, I think they said? But before I could ask them to repeat themselves, they buggered off again.

So I thought the best thing to do would be to practice my hunting and tracking, since that was something I could do without any guidance. After all, that was the reason I’m here, right? So I can be a super strong Veth Prime and replace Arkay.

That was until I found a thing. It didn’t… smell right. I assumed at first that it was a Veth like me and Arkay, but older. Like a lower version or something. That’d make sense, especially since I am an upgrade to Arkay. But this didn’t smell like a Veth.

It was obviously in pain, roaring and growling and angry. It was also wet. Soaking wet. As if it had just climbed out the nearby lake. Well, it had, because there was a wet, slimy trail from where it had dragged itself out. It was almost screaming.

I wanted to help it, but I was also worried about it tearing me in half. It was about twice the size I was and it had massive claws. And a pair of horns on its head. And lots of heavy armour. So I did the smart thing and went to get Arkay.

Turns out, Arkay had come to find me. He’d heard the cries and had come over to investigate. That was when I heard him mutter what I think is the coolest name ever.


The creature recognised the name. I asked Arkay if it was a Veth but he said no. He said it was a Varga. So I asked him what a Varga was. He said it was an adult, male Vohra. I asked him to tell me more and he said that Varga were basically ‘Vohran males’ meant to do one thing, have sex with females, and they otherwise go insane and die. I asked again, and Arkay just sighed, unable to explain further. Then he turned his attention back to the Varga.

It was still in pain and Arkay was trying to work out how to help it. At first, we just helped the creature onto its back, so it wouldn’t hurt itself too much. After some thought, Arkay suggested that maybe the Varga needed medication.

At that point, a lightbulb lit up in my brain. Buried memories came to the surface. I was a doctor once. Not a doctor for whatever this Varga was, but I was a doctor nonetheless. Not that I could remember much else. Apart from the fact that, as this creature was male, maybe it had too much testosterone, and a shot of oestrogen would help. Arkay looked at me funny, then realised that maybe I had a point. He told me to stay with Vahlok.

I waited about ten minutes before Arkay got back. Somehow he’d managed to get a syringe full of oestrogen. Told me that another Veth owed him a favour. I have no idea how this other Veth managed to get a syringe of female hormones, but we had no time for more questions. Arkay held Vahlok down while I injected the stuff into his neck, the only area not covered in armour and easy to get to.

Then we sat back and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, Vahlok stopped shaking. Eventually, he calmed down enough to be able to properly look at us.

Then he says the weirdest thing.

“Thank you, Arkay. Thank you, other Veth.”

I’ll admit it, I freaked out. That monster spoke the same language we spoke.

It took ages for Arkay to calm me down and explain that most races speak Panglish because of ‘Deitic interference’. And the fact that the Vohra had helped spread the language even further.

Oh well.

So now we have a new friend, AND Arkay is no longer super depressed. He’s just slightly depressed.