Tale – Deathly Rant

Kinisis watched as the personifications of Time and Nothingness argued in front of her, growling, shouting, screaming and all round being stupid. They’d gone round and round in verbal circles, and nothing had stopped them yet.

Something approached her from behind, but Kinisis knew who it was. “You took your damn sweet time, Arkay,” Kinisis tutted.

“We took the stairs. This tower is pretty tall. Either way, you seemed to have a handle on things, my Lady,” Arkay sighed. “You going to turn us all back into Veth soon? I’ve put up with this stab wound for a bit, but I’d like to go back to being a badass monster and not my old, stupid, Rethan self.”

“Soon,” Kinisis grunted. “Just waiting for these two to shut up so I can slap them both around their stupid faces repeatedly, for about a month, until they realise HOW FUCKING RETARDED YOU TWO FUCKING RETARDS ARE FUCKING BEING!”

The sudden jump in Kinisis’s voice caused Kairos and Stasis to pause and acknowledge Kinisis’s existence.

“What the fuck is wrong with you two?” Kinisis growled as she walked over and slapped them both. She only slapped them once though, she had things she wanted to say. “Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? Standing there like fucking idiots. Like… Like two retarded Deitics arguing over which one of them should break the Contact-Pact and sleep with a Mortal they both have their eyes on.”

As Kinisis spoke, she started to get bigger and taller, reaching the height of Kairos and Stasis. Her tendrils were flickering and waving all over the place.

Seriously, you two, all you have done is act like spoilt little kids. To think that an air-headed dragon and an antlered buffoon were in charge of the things that keep this universe of mine safe. But no, you’re bickering again because you both think you’re better than each other. Well, you’re not!

I have had enough of your antics. I am sick and tired of you trying to disrupt things. And clearing up after your messes. I shouldn’t be doing that, I have things I need to recycle! This is all… LUDICROUS!”

Kinisis was now taller than both Kairos and Stasis. She glared down at them, her star-filled eyes glowing with anger.


“What do you have to say for yourselves?”

Stasis glanced at Kairos, then at the former Veth standing behind Kinisis. He took a deep breath, then finally spoke.

I am sorry, my dear. All I want to do is show you how much I love you.”

Kairos nodded, interrupting Stasis’s solemn speech. “Exactly! We do these stupid things because we love you, Kinisis. We want to show you how much we love you and get closer to you! We just… get jealous when you spend more time with one of us than the other. Or don’t spend time with us at all.”

Kinisis’s mood clearly didn’t seem any better. With a growl, she grabbed them by their throats, and held them over the edge of the tower.

You’ve both guaranteed that neither of you will get to sleep with me for a veeeeeeeeeery long time. A million years at least. You know who I’m going to sleep with tonight?”

The two gods shook their heads as they struggled to break free.

Well, I don’t know either yet. Gotta turn all my children back into Veth first anyway. But it definitely won’t be you two!”

Kinisis’s sneers turned into a large grin as she dropped Kairos and Stasis. The two beings panicked as they fell, before shapeshifing into their normal forms and teleporting away before they could hit the ground. Satisfied, Kinisis turned to her three Veth.

I wasn’t too mean, was I?”

Arkay tutted. “I think you should have been meaner.”

Kinisis grinned, then shrunk down to her normal size. She walked up to her Veth and tapped each of them on the head, turning them back to their Vethic forms. The transformation was quick and pointless, Kinisis wasn’t in the mood for wasting time.

I guess you’re right… Anyway, we need to tidy up. Vel, if you could please gather a group and get them to pick up all the unconscious Time-Drakes and put them inside the tower so they can recover. Arkay, I want you to take everyone else home, then do a quick sweep of the shores of Kinigi to make sure nothing’s slipped through. Ignis…”

My name is Volt.”

It is?” Kinisis explained. “Oh yes. I forgot you mentioned that earlier. Volt, I need you to collect that Deitic we, uh, kidnapped earlier and deliver him to a particular location…”

A loud snore rudely woke Lua from his slumber. He sat bolt upright, very narrowly avoiding a low ceiling. He was in a bunk bed, and something was snoring in the bed above him.

Looking around, Lua saw little else of interest. There were other beings sleeping in bunk beds as well, but no one else was awake. Each bed had a little bed-side table, and as Lua looked down to his left, he could see that there was a little leaflet, with picturesque views and text written in a gentle, light blue font. Something about “luxurious homes for lost Deitics” or something like that.

But on top of his leaflet was a note. Lua picked it up and inspected it closely, before finally reading the note properly.

You deserve better than the beatings Stasis gave you. Don’t worry, my guy will look after you. Lots of love, Death”