Tale: Tea with not Death

Death would normally be here by now. She was occasionally late sometimes, as to be expected with such an important job, but normally she’d turn up eventually. Tenuk had come and gone three times in the last week and hadn’t seen her once. This time was no different. Except for the Veth approaching him with a tray of tea.

“I apologise, she’s busy fighting against a potentially universe-destroying threat…” the purple and gold Veth sighed. “Death would have had me inform you but she doesn’t like it when I talk to you.”

Although the Veth standing in front of Tenuk didn’t look familiar, the voice gave away their identity.

“Retvik? Is that you?”

“Sort of, I guess?” Retvik sighed. “Since I became a Veth, I am not really what you’d expect. Or remember.” The Veth lifted up its tray of tea. “Would you like some? Freshly brewed, as always, since I knew you were coming.”

Tenuk pulled a nasty face in as polite way as possible. He’d always, always refused Death’s offerings of drink and food, because they always tasted horrible. Retvik though noticed and decided to explain.

“I always provide food and drink for Death. That is my duty after all, to entertain her and her guests. Every time you come round though, I am often put in the closet and she’ll make things for herself. Death doesn’t like having me around when you’re here because of our prior relationship. And of course you always get shit drinks because Death has no idea how to make a cup of tea. I swear I’ve shown her like a thousand times now. Why are you smiling?”

Tenuk grinned. “Death is jealous of us. Isn’t she?”

“I guess.”

The Kronorethan took a cup of tea and gently sipped it. “Huh, that’s actually not bad. Drinkable, at least. I don’t normally drink herbal teas.”

Retvik nodded, feeling a little bit better. “Unfortunately I don’t always have the ingredients to make what I want. I source it all from Kinigi, and what with it being a realm of death, it’s hard to find anything non-toxic.”

“You are basically spending eternity as Death’s personal cook then?”

“Pretty much. At least until Death finds someone more attractive…” Retvik paused, eyeing Tenuk cautiously. “She wants you. A lot. She has a little stuffed doll of you. Cuddles it when she naps.”

“I get the feeling Death is slightly obsessed with me.”

“SLIGHTLY?” Retvik roared, making Tenuk jump. There was a mixture of both laughter and anger in his voice. “Sometimes, when she’s fucking me, Death calls me your name.”

“Wait, she fucks you?” Tenuk exclaimed

“Well, yes.” Retvik seemed unsure why Tenuk was so surprised. “When she’s not out doing jobs or sleeping, she fucks her Veth. We’re all willing of course. She asks me a lot just because I’m nearby, good-looking and always follow up with a meal in bed. She knows we slept together when I was… alive… Tenuk, answer me this. How long have I been here?”

Tenuk shrugged. “About a few thousand years, I think. I admit… I’ve lost track of time myself.”

“You’re not alone. There’s no time here, no nothing. Everything just drifts on. I talk to other Veth, they’re the same, they sleep or they wake and little else and we all forget who we are. I… don’t even remember how I died. Not sure I even want to…”

“You hate it here?”

“No! Not at all!” Retvik quickly replied, worried that someone would perhaps hear him wrong. “I love being here. I have one of the best duties in existence. But there’s always a feeling that something is missing. Like… I miss seeing time pass. The changes I see are so few and far between. When you, or Stasis or any of Death’s other guests arrive, I relish those moments. And when Death decides to bring old groups together and me, Elksia and the Twins spend some undefined amount of time playing games, that’s always so enjoyable. There’s no way to explain it.”

Tenuk sighed. “I guess I’ll find out eventually, right?”

“Oh, certainly… I admit… some of us have taken bets as to how you’ll die… Pretty big bets…”

There wasn’t much surprise in Tenuk’s reply. He knew the Veth all knew about him, news always travelled quickly in Kinigi. “What do you even bet with down here? You don’t have gold or anything, do you?”

“Deitic skulls, silver pieces and slices of territory.”

“D-Deitic skulls? We… don’t even have skulls…” Tenuk shuddered.

“You do when we collect the remains of Deitics you kill and pour them into moulds. Great system actually, since it’s performance-based, but it means that I am technically poor!” Retvik let loose a small smile, as did Tenuk.

“So…” Tenuk changed the subject. “Any idea when Death will be back?”

“Not really. Sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Tenuk patted Retvik on the shoulder. “I’ll come back in a week or so. Alright?”

“Sure. It was pleasant speaking to you again, Tenuk.”

“You too, Retvik.”

“Stay safe, brother.”

This story is set approximately 100,000 years after being published.