Tale – Waking up in a Dumb Place

“What the fuck? Where the fuck am I? How did I end up in fucking bed? What the fuck happened?” Arkay continued to swear, curse and ask questions for a good couple of minutes. He threw himself out of bed, ran around the random room looking for an exit and could not work out what had happened.

The last thing Arkay could remember was someone telling him that ‘body guards were not allowed in’ and some being called Syklia making a fuss about all that, but Kinisis didn’t really seem to care. Then some large, green, slightly Veth-like being led him and Helkas away and that was it. There was a huge gap between then and waking up in this weird room.

And it really was weird. Up against the wall was a large bed, big enough for two people. On each side was a long table, with candles, leaflets, toothbrushes and glasses of water on them. Next to the tables, on both sides of the room, were weird, metal things that were warm to the touch. Arkay was sure he could hear water going through them.

In the opposite corners of the room were a miniature bathroom and kitchen, both separated from the main room via frosted glass panes. A fridge, oven, microwave and several cupboards could be seen in the kitchen; a sink, mirror, space to shower and a weird looking toilet could be seen in the bathroom.

Opposite the bed was a single, tall window, hidden behind a curtain. There was no obvious door.

“Seriously, what the fuck? I am so fucking sick and tired of all this random bullshit. I feel like a fucking retarded character in a dumb kids’ story and the fucking author doesn’t know what to do with him!”

Something stirred in the bed. Arkay suddenly realised he wasn’t alone. Worse, he realised he’d been sharing a bed with someone and he hadn’t even noticed.

“Good morning,” Helkan yawned as he slowly got up. “Huh. How did we get in here?”

“I don’t fucking know!” Arkay shouted. “We’re just being thrown through fucking space like timeless rag dolls. Doesn’t matter if we get hurt or whatever. Someone’s having fun but it ain’t us!”

Arkay paused and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. Helkan hinted for him to come and sit down next to him, which Arkay did.

“It’s okay. It’s awkward at first, but you get used to it. You’ll enjoy all these adventures some day!” Helkan smiled as he put an arm around Arkay.

“I guess… Wait. You’re younger than me. You have to be since you’re based on me. But you talk like you’ve been doing this stuff for decades. Does… time run faster for you?”

“Probably. After all, not all Time Drakes are the same.”

Arkay sighed, not knowing what to do with himself. He got up and decided to check out what was in the kitchen. It turned out it was all empty, apart from a single loaf of bread, which had long ago decided it didn’t want to be eaten and had really let itself go. It was more green mold than bread now.

Helkan though clearly had other ideas. Rather than inspect the room, he walked right over to the lone window, moved the curtain, then smashed the glass.

“What the fuck…” Arkay had basically given up on making sense of anything. Outside was a weird, rocky landscape with weird, floating bubbles of water and weird, twisted trees.

Helkan’s smile widened as he grabbed Arkay by the hand and pulled him though.

“Come on. Let’s go adventuring.”