The sand was pink, the grass was lilac and the sky was nonsensical, full of stars and nebulae. A rather standard day in Kinigi, the borders of existence, with the entire universe above it. But by Arkay’s feet was a hole. Not a particularly large hole, but one with a slight slope to its edges. Not quite large enough to just fall into either. Which was why Arkay had scraped at the edges, pulling away sand, making that hole larger. Large enough for Arkay to fit through.
The hole wasn’t just any hole. It was a tear within reality. It was a gap through which one could pass, so they could exit the universe entirely. This was a hole that went outside the universe. What was out there, Arkay had no idea. Few beings knew about this place in general. A handful of powerful entities who sometimes needed to… remove dangerous objects from the universe in a safer manner. That hole was a one-way ticket to an infinite void, an infinite darkness.
Maybe there was something out there. There had to be. But from what Arkay had experienced so far, being the Veth Prime, the right hand servant of the Universe’s Personification, everything that had tried to come in from out there had been monstrous and horrible. It was an infinite void, yes, but there also seemed to be infinite horrors also hiding in said void.
In all certain terms, out there, there was nothing but pain and death.
Yet somehow, there Arkay was, making that hole larger, so he could leave the safety of his universe and throw himself into that void. In his brief, conscious existence, Arkay had experienced pain and death constantly. Despite being, apparently, one of the most required and powerful beings alive, all Arkay felt was suffering. Physically, psychologically, in every way possible.
Arkay was sick of it. He was sick of the pain. After some research in forbidden places, after talking in hushed voices with people he knew he could barely trust, Arkay had come to a decision. He had decided that the vast, unknown, potential pain outside this universe was better than the constant, needling, delving pain he went through inside this universe. Going down that hole meant certain doom. But Arkay could accept that. He was already doomed in a different way.
Screams could be heard. People calling his name. That false sweetness, the pretending to care about his existence. Arkay knew that he didn’t have much time. And he wasn’t going to waste it. While part of his mind wanted to hesitate, Arkay ignored it. This was it. This was his chance to escape.
Closing his eyes, Arkay climbed into the hole, and pulled himself through. Once he had made most of his way out, he pressed his legs against the wall of the universe and kicked himself out, away from the horrible place that had birthed him, away from the beings that always hurt him.
The screaming could still be heard as Arkay drifted away. He no longer cared. Sure, the voices were screaming at him, cursing at him, asking him what he had done, but he didn’t care, and he knew they wouldn’t dare follow him. There was no warmth, the sweat on his skin was swiftly freezing, his blood was cooling and although Arkay hadn’t needed to breathe for a while, he could feel the last gasp of air from his former home leave his redundant lungs. It was pain, but a different pain. A pain Arkay could accept.
He was free. Cold, alone, battered and broken, but free. He was fated to drift forever, in this black, empty void, until the universe-harming monsters of the darkness found him and devoured him. Didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Arkay was free. He could wait for the pain to ebb and fade and then finally meet his end.
So that was what Arkay did. He held himself tightly, wrapped his bloodied, broken wings and tail around himself, and closed his eyes. The end would come. It had to, right?
There was silence for a long, long while. Time stopped having meaning. The pain faded a little. The lack of warmth was no longer a problem. There was nothing.
But then there was pain again. Arkay had… hit something. Something large and metallic. A ship. A shimmering ship with long, bladed fins. He’d hit it at a worryingly high speed and knocked himself out. The ship seemed to slow down, then opened up and pulled Arkay inside.
…
Arkay snapped back to consciousness, covered in sweat. He was so unusually hot and sweaty that he had ruined the bed and needed to change the sheets. But at the same time, Arkay was shivering, cold and, worse, scared.
Something knocked on the door. Arkay found himself nearly squeaking in surprise. He couldn’t let people see him the way he was, in such a mess, so Arkay quickly tried to sort himself out. He screwed up the sheets and chucked them in the corner, then threw another sheet on his bed, ignoring the lack of blankets or anything. He then tied a stomach wrap around himself, before going over and answering the door.
“My dear, are you alright?”
Arkay breathed a small sigh of relief. It was just Litvir.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Please do not lie to me. You clearly are not fine.”
Arkay sighed. Litvir sighed as well, then put a hand on Arkay’s shoulder. “You do not need to go into the details, but I would like to know why you are upset and if I can do something to assist you, to make you feel better.”
Arkay hesitated, then rubbed his eyes, failing to hide tears.
“You had one of those nightmares of yours, yes?” Litvir asked. “One of those dreams where your past bleeds into your dreams and merges with the garbage data in your head that you have not ejected yet.”
“You… you’re absolutely right, Litvir. But, well… that dream… that… that felt… almost real. Like, I can normally tell at some point that I’m dreaming, and I wake up. That… I don’t know what that was…”
“And it scared you.”
“Yeah.”
Litvir sighed again, then hugged Arkay tightly. “I am sorry that you feel scared. Do you want some help, in any way?”
Arkay closed his eyes, crying properly. “Can you just… hold me for a bit, please?”
Litvir smiled, scooping Arkay up into his arms. “Of course. Do you also want to go and snuggle with Retvik as well?”
“I would, yeah…”
“Come on then. Let us go get some snuggles…”