“Mister Elkay, are you busy right now?”
Elkay glanced over his shoulder as he packed up folders of paper and put them into a larger folder, with the label “Past Trials” written on it. He had just dismissed the Decaylings after a two hour long lesson running down a long list of Decay Lord Trials, and six of the seven Decaylings were desperate to leave. Helkas though had clearly stuck around, having a lot on his mind.
“I am not busy!” Elkay smiled. “Is something troubling you? Do you want to go over what we talked about?”
“I guess…”
“Are you worried about your Decay Lord trial?” Elkay asked.
Helkas shrugged. “In all honesty? I don’t think I’m that scared about it. Like… well… I was a god of death. I fought and killed invaders to my home on the regular. On my own. I protected an entire universe. And for our trial? I’m going to have six friends to help me kill, what, one Voidborn? I’m not really worried.”
Elkay smiled some more. “That is good to hear! You seem to be doing alright, and you have done really well in your exams.”
“I have, I guess.”
“Not, ‘I guess’. You have. You have done really well and we are glad you are doing well… Except you are not doing well currently, right at this moment.”
Helkas hesitated, twiddling his thumbs. “Well, the thing is… I mean, I’ve… hinted at it a few times… but… well… I… I am a bit of a horny teenager right now and I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“Oh…” Elkay wasn’t sure how to respond to that in a way that wouldn’t upset Helkas too much. “Unfortunately, I do not know how I can help, outside of offering to listen to you.”
“I… I get that…” Helkas sighed. “But… can I just talk to you? Not in here though. In here is boring.”
Elkay glanced around. “Well, this IS a classroom, it is not meant to be interesting.”
“It used to be.”
“That…” Elkay refocused on Helkas. “What do you mean by that?”
“This was a room you all used to have sex in.”
Again, Elkay wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “That is true, yes. Well, not so much me. Teekay and I have two perfectly good bedrooms to have fun in. But yes, this room was used as a, uh, ‘snuggle room’. But it was not really used for sex, it was more used for relaxation.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Helkas wasn’t buying Elkay’s words. “You definitely had sex in here. I know. I have the same powers you have.”
Elkay eyed Helkas. “I know you are horny right now, but I will be blunt, you do not want to have any sort of romance with either Arkay or myself.”
“And why not?” Helkas hissed. “You keep on beating around the bush and saying I’m too young and stuff like that! But you aren’t telling me why!”
“Do you want me to be blunt? Because I do not want to upset you.”
“Yes! Be blunt!”
Elkay thought for a moment, then tutted. “Alright, first off, you ARE too young for me and you are also too old for me. You are both a teenager and a billion year old former death god. I am approximately 84 years old. Secondly, I am also not particularly interested in you anyway. You are not my type.”
“You married Teekay though!” Helkas protested.
“I did, yes. Because Teekay is my type, and we have bonded over different things. Teekay has immature moments but he is overall a calm, intelligent, powerful, mature adult who worked hard his entire life and goofs off occasionally. He is also taller and more muscular than most Skyans. I lvoe Teekay more than anything but do not care so much for the other Skyavok and Threan-types members of the Thantir.
“And thirdly? I have… attempted intercourse with Arkay. It was… not good in any way.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Elkay took a long, deep breath. “Things make no sense when two Synaisthyns get too close to each other. Reality skews and we start to melt. You know those bad dreams you have where you are melting? Well, imagine that, but you are melting onto someone else. The last time Arkay and I attempted anything, we nearly meltede into each other, and the only reason we managed to separate was because Arkay has more control than I have over his shape. And all we did was lie in bed together. I KNOW you find me attractive and I know you find Arkay attractive too, but Arkay and I are two mature Synaisthyns and we had problems. Neither of us are willing to subject you to the… the horror of any sort of even vague romance with us.”
Helkas opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out at first. “Was it… that bad?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
“Oh indeed…” Elkay trailed off, then sighed some more. “I am sorry, Helkas, maybe I should have been clearer and less harsh from the start. But clearly we need to find a way to help you. Because you have needs and they are not being satisfied.”
“Clearly…” Helkas frowned. “But I don’t know how to satisfy them. Because everyone thinks I’m a teenager and not a billion year old death god and you’re all kinda avoiding me and settled down in your own little groups and stuff. I’m not even a real fricking teenager. I’m, like, physically 17 or 18!”
“You are technically, physically, the youngest member of the Thantir though…” Elkay paused for a moment. But that moment was brief. “Alright, I cannot help you personally. But I do have an idea.”
“You do? Because I am kinda sick of using my hands.”
“I do, yes. I am going to arrange a trip to the local mall, for you and the other Decaylings. When we go, you will be allowed to explore on your own. I can give you a little bit of extra money, and you can visit a specific store there and find something that will help you.”
Helkas took a moment to realise what Elkay was talking about. “Oh. Uh. Um… I see… I… I appreciate the help and the honesty, mister Elkay.”
Elkay patted Helkas on the shoulder. “It is not a problem. I apologise for not being honest and not offering proper assistance sooner.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I… I’m a bit awkward. Still working things out… Anyway, I’m… I’m gonna go have a swim. In the lake, because it’s nice.”
“Do you want some company?” Elkay asked.
“No, thanks. See you later, mister Elkay!”
Before Elkay could say anything else, Helkas disappeared in a flash of red sparkles. Elkay stared at where Helkas had stood, then shrugged and wandered off, wondering where his husband was.