Tale: A Decision

Retvik was surprised to find that Arkay was home. For the last few weeks, he had either been staying with his brothers or spending time in an office working for the Raptor. It had been a while since they had seen each other.

After dumping several bags of shopping on the worktop in the kitchen, Retvik wandered over to the desk where Arkay was sitting, typing away on a laptop computer.

“How are you, Arkay?”

Clearly Arkay had been distracted, because he jumped at the sound of Retvik’s voice.

“Oh. I, uh, um, didn’t know you would be… holy Light it’s 8pm… I only came here because I knew everyone was out and wanted some time alone… Definitely lost track of time…” Arkay quickly saved what he was doing and closed the laptop. From Retvik’s point of view, all he could see was a long list of bullet points.

“Are you well?” Retvik asked. “I know you have been busy lately, doing all sorts of… things…”

Arkay leaned back, nodding. “Yeah, I have been. I should have made the effort to come and see you though. You’re like… Well… I’m glad you’re here actually… But first, are you alright?”

Retvik noticed that the little Rethan had avoided his question, but decided to ignore it for now. “I have been well. Not had much time to start rebuilding Gath’s home, in between the Dessaron arena, training new teams and doing all the promotional material the Raptor wants everyone doing for their winter season. Hope you do not mind that Gath has been storing some of his stuff in here.”

“I haven’t been around, I really don’t mind. Anything for Gath. He’s your partner and a super nice vok after all.”

Retvik pulled up a chair and sat down next to Arkay. “It makes me smile that you approve of Gath. Not everyone does.”

“I don’t see why.”

“You do not see things the way most Rethans do…” Retvik decided to change the subject. “But alas, you wanted to speak to me, did you not?”

Arkay sighed and cautiously lifted up the lid of the laptop. On the screen was a simple word document, a list of facts and memories Arkay had written about his life.

“Are you writing an autobiography?” Retvik asked as he scanned the document. “Or perhaps considering getting someone to write one for you?”

“Um… No…”

Retvik scanned the list again, then read it all again, slower this time. He noticed that the list only contained about a year’s worth of events, and even then, it skipped over most of the bad things that had happened to Arkay recently.

“Is this to do with that memory erasure thing you wanted to do?” Retvik finally asked.

“Yes. Yes it is, Retvik. I have decided to get a six month mind wipe.”

Retvik couldn’t help but look concerned. “Um, kid, you know they have risks, yes?”

Arkay nodded. “I do. I have been looking over this for two weeks, more even. I want to do this. I know there are risks of brain damage and memory loss over what is expected. That’s fine. I don’t mind. I’m willing to take that risk.”

“Then what is all of this?” Retvik asked.

“Ah, this?” Arkay smiled, just a little. “It’s a… just in case thing. I might end up losing more memories than I’d like. Medic Feteer suggested that I make a long list of things I want to remember. I have a separate list of things that I don’t want to remember, when that’s done, I’m going to print off copies and give them to everyone.”

Retvik still seemed concerned, but less so. He was more confused than anything else. “You seem dead set in your ways, Arkay. Why did you want to speak to me?”

“I…” Arkay hesitated. “I haven’t told anyone yet. You’re the first vok I’ve told, that I’m definitely going to do it. I guess… I wanted your approval.”

“My approval? Arkay, you are an adult, you do not need my approval for anything!” Retvik exclaimed.

“Yeah but I see you as a parental figure, Retvik. You’re family. More so than my blood relatives…” A little sigh. Arkay looked tired. “I don’t know… I was going to tell everyone anyway, but you mean a lot to me, Retvik. I felt I owed it to you to tell you first.”

Retvik calmed down and gently put his arm around Arkay. “I am sorry I shouted at you. When are you planning on getting the mind wipe done?”

“Some time next week. When I have the courage too. There’s no appointment, I just go in, sign the paperwork and get it done.”

“May I accompany you when you go?”

“I would like that…” Arkay smiled. But the smile exploded into a yawn.

Retvik reached over and closed the lid of the laptop, then with one hand scooped Arkay up and carried him to the worktop where he’d left the shopping. He sat Arkay down on a stool, then headed to a cupboard and pulled out a candle, a lighter and some wooden skewers. After placing the lit candle in front of Arkay, he pulled out a packet of marshmallows from one of the shopping bags.

“I… can’t have those.”

“They’re sugar free,” Retvik grinned as he put marshmallows on two skewers and handed one to Arkay. “I thought we should put one last little thing on your list, so you don’t forget.”

Arkay took the marshmallow stick and the two Rethans held them over the flame of the candle, watching them slowly caramelize and burn.

“Thank you, Retvik. Shame I won’t remember this.”

“Do not worry. We will do it again when you come back.”