Arkay sat nervously at the desk, waiting for his medic to come back with a variety of blood tests. This medic was new, a more elderly standard-type by the name of Feteer. He wasn’t a bad medic or anything, it was just something about his age and his constant need of blood tests that put Arkay off. That wasn’t Feteer’s fault though, that was the fault of his previous medics – none of them were willing to hand over their details on Arkay’s health, so Feteer was essentially starting from scratch.
Today’s visit was twofold. Firstly, Feteer needed to change Arkay’s insu-band. Since he’d been on Portalia (and in those Catacombs…), Arkay’s body had decided to almost completely stop producing insulin. For reasons unknown, his previous medics decided to treat the with daily injections, rather than the standard insu-band.
Insu-bands were nice and simple. Worn around the wrist, typically below a Rethan’s normal wrist bands, an insu-Band had two incredibly thin needles that went into the skin – one to constantly monitor blood sugar levels, the other to release insulin as and when it’s needed. It meant getting the band changed occasionally, but once it’s all organized, one would only have to change it once a month, to have the needles replaced.
Arkay was still in the organizing phase though. That was partially why Feteer needed the blood tests. Insu-bands were also designed to give doses of other medications, and if it meant the young Rethan didn’t need to constantly worry about what he needed to take, it would have been a huge burden off his chest.
“Ah, sorry for the long wait, little one!” Feteer finally appeared, carrying a binder full of files. “Call me a bit old, but I like having paper notes. Easier to write things down. How are you feeling, Arkay?”
“I feel… conflicted. And exhausted…” Arkay admitted.
“Things well at home?”
“No.”
“No?” Feteer looked at Arkay. “Why not?”
“I’m permanently in a bad mood and I feel like everyone is sick and tired of me. I don’t blame them. I’m sick and tired of me.”
Feteer’s expression didn’t change, but his voice seemed warmer. “You’ve had a bad time. But there’s lots of good news in your future. Lots. The information I managed to get from your former medics looked really bad, but it turns out that you definitely are getting better. Apart from your teeth.”
“What’s wrong with my teeth?” Arkay exclaimed.
“You need to see a dentist and get some fillings. But apart from that, you’re on the road to recovery. Your new insu-band doesn’t need much tweaking earlier, you should have somewhat normal blood sugar control in a couple of months – these things take time after all.”
“There’s more though, isn’t there? More problems round the corner?”
Feteer leaned back in his chair. “Not really. Your main issue is your diet and your weight. You are depressed, so you’re going to eat abnormally. I’ve got a few little printouts and guides you can have a look at. You’re a young one, you change now, you’ll sort yourself out.”
“Anything else?” Arkay twiddled his thumbs, feeling more and more nervous.
“Well…” Feteer hesitated. “There is one thing. The most prominent thing I learned from what little information I managed to retrieve was a mind wipe was recommended for you.”
Arkay stuttered. “A mind wipe? I… requested one. A lot at first. I just wanted to forget everything… I… still do…”
“Why didn’t they give you one?” Feteer asked. “A selective short term memory wipe could do you a lot of good. I normally would not recommend it, except in extreme circumstances, but you go far past that.”
“That’s what General Kaldoran said. I heard him say that anyway. Said I couldn’t because I was technically public property.”
Feteer’s blank expression turned into a smile. “Well, as your class is now exiled and no longer an official, active class, you are now open to more options.”
Arkay’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You mean… I could get a memory wipe? Just get rid of the bad memories and start again?”
“If only it was that easy…” Feteer reached forward, placing Arkay’s arm on the desk. He continued talking, distracting Arkay as he changed the needles in his insu-band. “The issue is that a little too much time has passed between now and the events you want to forget. Normally, in cases of sexual abuse or torture, an amnesiac is applied as soon as possible, in small doses, just to remove the adrenaline-spiked pain. In your case though, your previous medics should have acted as soon as they worked out what was wrong with you. But now it’s far too late.”
Arkay flinched as the new needles pierced his skin. “Ach… Do I have… any options? Because I have nightmares every single day. I just want to forget it all. Like, everything…”
Feteer finished what he was doing, then leaned back again. “There is… something we can do. A longer mind wipe. There are huge risks though. You could find yourself forgetting your family. You could lose years of memories, rather than the intended six months, and there’s always smaller things you may forget as well.”
“I’m not bothered about that.”
“You say that now, little one, but you don’t know how much you need something until you lose it…” Feteer glanced upwards, then back at Arkay. “Nonetheless, I shall look into it for you. Among the guides I gave you, I’ve also left some important information, the standard data given to anyone considering a mind wipe.”
“I’ll definitely read them,” Arkay muttered. “I want a second chance.”
“Good. But don’t get your hopes up too much…” Feteer jotted something down. “I’ll arrange for a new appointment for you next week. You need to think about all this.”
Arkay got up from his chair and turned to leave, smiling. “Thank you for even considering it, ser. Have a nice day.”
“You too, Arkay.”