Tale: Forward Backward Loop

Patient: I wish to talk.

Medic: You haven’t spoken to us about anything in three years.

Patient: I know. I know. The Light. The Shadow. The things are different now. I know better.

Medic: Very well. Lay down, please.

Patient: I wish to sit.

Medic: Then sit. Talk when you’re ready.

Patient: I… I lose my words a lot. I lost them all.

Medic: What made you lose your words?

Patient: You consider belief and the following of a religion to be insanity. You think ##### is fine though.

Medic: We do not discuss other patients.

Patient: But he was in a religion though.

Medic: We do not discuss other patients. And I will not discuss them with you. This is about you.

Patient: Well I believed in my own religion. You thought I was insane. My belief that there was always something dragging us back, something pushing us forward. Two forces, akin to the Deitics of old. But bigger than Deitics. Parts of existence, there since birth. Actual physical entities. Forward and Backward. They affect each and every one of us. Gods. Bigger than us all.

Medic: You believed. Do you still believe?

Patient: Yes. And no.

Medic: Why did you want to talk to us?

Patient: Because I discovered I was both right and wrong. Pride is important. I didn’t want my pride to be battered, with no evidence of my beliefs. Until recently, that is what they were. Beliefs. Now, there is a hint of truth behind them. Something. I am not as crazy as you think.

Medic: Are you sure about that? In the past…

Patient: In the past, I did horrible things. I was blinded by my belief. I was hurt. There was mental illness underlying it all, pain and suffering. I needed to escape and I did. My beliefs gave me peace. Now… I want to let go.

Medic: Let go of what?

Patient: I realise I have been doing everything wrong. Belief should not be forced upon others if it is painful. I realise my mistakes. My beliefs though can be moulded around everything else. What I see as gods, you see as forces of nature, the dimension of time. Normally we only see Forward. This is our dimension of time as we know it. Backward is but part of Forward. My view on what Backward is… is wrong.

Medic: What is Backward?

Patient: Nothing. Void. Emptiness. Motionlessness. Stasis. That’s it. Stasis. The father of the Deitics that just want the universe to stand still forever.

Medic: What made you change your mind?

Patient: I realised I was missing something. I was wrong. There are not two, there are three. Forward. Backward. Loop. Loop is life, it is death, it is the constant cycle. She is real though. I have seen her. We all saw her.

Medic: Hm. ######, could you please get me the security footage from the other day in the Exemption Bay?

Other Medic: Yes, ser. One moment.

Medic: ######, you say you all saw her. This Loop. What is she?

Patient: She called herself Death. She knew #####. She’s connected to the Veth and the Soul Rupture. ###### knew her too. He recognised her. He’s insane, he has hallucinations. She knew all of us, that you would not see her in your footage. You saw everyone being asleep, we were awake. All of us. She is real! And so are the others!”

Medic: Do you have proof of these others?

Patient: No… But this creature! She could not have been some insane Thanatian. She knew things. She knew we are all going to die soon. You know what us Ksa are like. You know. We lie and lie because we are afraid of no longer existing. We all lie to each other that we’re not ill and we’re here temporarily. ##### is the only guy who is upfront about it. I know my time is limited here, despite beating your expectations.

Medic: Does this… Death being wish to harm anyone?

Patient: I… No. She was actually very friendly. Explained who she was. Lady of the Cycle. Everything she said, it made sense to me.

Medic: Do you feel calmer now, that you have something… substantial to your beliefs?

Patient: Yes. I am done talking now. I needed to speak to someone. I decided to speak to you.

Medic: Very well. ####### will escort you back to your room.

Patient: Thank you.