Tale – Iatre’s Enjoyment

My life is great right now.


Is it a life when I’m actually dead? I guess not. Whoever I was before I became a Veth is deader than a doorknob. I guess I should call it unlife or something? The other Veth seem to call it being undead, but I don’t know.

Either way, everything is good right now. I’ve got an awesome new physique, complete with shape shifting powers so I can literally never be fat. I have a pretty neat tail now. I’ve got a gigantic lab where I can do whatever crazy experiments I want. I have made tons of new friends among the Veth, both new Veth and old. I have all the food and drink and things I could ever want.

It’s all awesome.

The only downside is that I can’t use all this stuff all the time because Death needs pleasuring. You know, pleasure. Fun stuff that you do in bed.

I can’t really bring myself to call it sex because I’m not sure that’s what it is. Mindless wobbling? Not really. Not sure at all. There’s definitely things going inside other things, but as a being who was almost certainly a man before he died, it’s weird being on the receiving end. Not… I don’t want to say it’s unnatural, but I don’t know if I like it or not. Well I do like it but there’s that niggling feeling in the back of my head that makes things awkward, especially when Death has such large, ample bosoms.

I just realised I’m basically saying that I’m being fucked literally by Death.

And it turns out that’s completely natural around here. Because Death isn’t just Death, she’s also Life as well. It’s a weird philosophical circle of life, death, rebirth and all that. She’s equally obsessed with sex and food and drink as she is with plagues and natural disasters. And she expects all the Veth to be as excited as she is.

Which means someone has to keep her occupied. Whether it’s us sleeping with Death or her watching as two (or more) Veth screw. She’s really not fussed. The way I see it, it’s all a distraction from her job of making this universe work. That or Death is fucking crazy and has addictions that need treating, but because she’s like, a 6th dimensional being, she has no one she can really talk to so tries to deal with her problems by channelling them through us.

At the very least, if Death watching me and some other Veth get it off stops her from going completely off the deep end, I don’t mind.

Although awkwardly, the Veth that both I and Death seem to enjoy most is not here half the time. I won’t go into details, but there’s something lovely about someone who’s not sure about being on the receiving end taking it from someone who’s not sure what gender he’s supposed to be. Because I genuinely can’t tell if Arkay was a guy or a girl when he was alive. I don’t believe that he was a hermaphrodite.

I have no idea where he does. But he comes back covered in blood and not completely satisfied, he does whatever Death demands, then he wanders off to his own little place.

At least Arkay seems to have emotions though. I don’t think most Veth do. The smart ones do. Continuity seems alright and the writing Veth thing (can’t remember her name) is very smart. But everyone else just goes about their day. No real talking, no real anything. They fight and protect their patches of land and that’s it. I wouldn’t say that most Veth are mindless, but they are single-minded.

But what if I’m single-minded too? Here I am, sitting around with my lovely lab, not a care in the universe. I do my experiments, I eat, I sleep, I drink, I screw… what else is there?

Maybe this is what being undead is like. Mindless but not mindless. A loop. A cycle.

Still, I wouldn’t trade it for being alive again. Why would I? Everything here is just right.