“There’s this place I planted a seed for, I really like how it came out, but I’m hesitant to let it spread elsewhere.”
“You say that about a lot of things, Kinisis.”
“Yes, but this time I mean it. This world I created. Well, not created. Pushed? Prodded? What’s the term?”
“I don’t know, you’re the one with the ability to create almost anything. But I think you’re looking for the word ‘influenced’.”
“Ah yes, influenced. I influenced this world. Lush, purple plains. Pink trees with red leaves. Flowers everywhere. Small world, but just the right size for this experiment. An atmosphere pumped full of sexual hormones.”
“What?”
“I created a little world where sex is the answer to everything. Really, what I did with the atmosphere wasn’t necessary. The hormone-emitting algae and base plant life did a lot of the work. Created a world where the top predatory race is a kind, caring, well-endowed being. Everything is related to sex somehow. I like to think of it as one of the happiest places in my universe.”
“That’s silly.”
“It works though. And when I say everything, I mean everything. All the land masses look like penises with testicles attached. There’s at least four vagina-shaped lakes. Most of the mountains are worn down and paired up, like massive boobies.”
“Kinisis…”
“Don’t interrupt me. Just listen. Or I’ll send you to- no wait, that wouldn’t be a punishment… Anyway yes this place is all about cocks and vaginas. All the flowers are shaped like rude things. All the animals have massive private parts. Okay the carnivores are in charge, they always are, you don’t really have an ecosystem without predators and prey, but they fuck all the time. And they’re happy and well-endowed. All the herbivores have rows of massive boobies too…”
“Sorry but… boobies?”
“Oh right. Boobies are breasts. Mammaries. You and your old species don’t have breasts. Your species are weird. You’re warm-blooded but not like mammal races, which is what I made to evolve on this planet. Well, you were before you became a Veth. I suppose the only thing you have in common is that all the denizens of this world are hermaphrodites. And they became a sentient race a few thousand years ago. So they have technology and currency and things like that. No wars though. I mean, they had a few wars back when they were primitive over who should rule them, but they’ve all pretty much decided to vote on a leader.”
“Sounds rather peaceful.”
“Definitely. It’s really nice. What I find most interesting though is that they use sex as a currency.”
“So they barter.”
“No. If they can’t pay for something with sex on the spot, they collect sexual fluids and trade with that.”
“What the fuck?”
“What? It’s no different from trading with gold coins.”
“That stuff rots and gets smelly really fa-”
“Nope. I made some… genetic changes to them. Their fluids last forever. Well, not forever. A pretty long time. About five years, which isn’t bad for bodily fluids outside of the living body. But basically the richest individuals in society are the ones who can produce the most fluid. Then they use their fluids to made sex toys and trade with those too.”
“That’s still horrifying.”
“Well they’re more peaceful than anyone. Just because you don’t like what they do, doesn’t mean you should judge them.”
“None of this makes any sense though. And if I don’t like someone killing someone else, I’m totally going to judge them.”
“Nothing does. Also, you know what I mean. Don’t be pedantic.”
“So they spend all day just fucking each other?”
“Don’t be silly! They have jobs and stuff. Lots of artists. Pretty architecture. Big booming porn business. They basically designed their society so they’d have as much free time as possible.”
“So they can spend all day fucking each other.”
“Exactly!”
“I have so many questions that I’m not sure I want answered. You’re saying everything on this world is like this? What do these beings look like?”
“Whatever they want.”
“They’re shape shifters?”
“Yep. Well, technically form changers.”
“So they have a basic look which carries over between forms?”
“Pretty much. If you’re born with blue eyes and you form change, you still have blue eyes.”
“But what do they look like when they’re not form-changed?”
“Like humans. A lot of them make themselves look half thropic, half animalistic. Lots of what one might call Nagas and Centaurs and things like that around. But with massive tits and dicks.”
“I should have guessed as much. Why though? Why do all this? Is it part of some sort of experiment? You trying to find a way to make all life peaceful?”
“Nah. Just fancied making something funny. You know they don’t have a normal religion, right?”
“How would I know? You’ve only just started telling me about them, Kinisis.”
“Well, they don’t. They thank the sun for existing once a day and thank me for the food on their table and that’s it. Okay they have some weird, old fashioned religion-based festivals but every race has those.”
“Can I ask, why are you telling me all of this?”
“Eh, I dunno. Just thought it would make a good setting for an intergalactic porno or something.”
“So you called me away from my important security meeting to tell me about a planet of people who liked to fuck for literally no reason.”
“Pretty much.”
“Can I go now, Kinisis?”
“Sure. See you later, kiddo!”