Helkas was getting better at working out who was approaching, from the sound of their footsteps, the crunch of the sand and pebbles under their feet. But for some reason, Elkay was always hard to judge. It was as if his footsteps were always slightly different, or maybe he was even disguising his footsteps. Helkas wasn’t sure, but he did notice that Elkay had come over to speak to him.
“Hello, mister Elkay. Have I done something wrong?”
Elkay didn’t say anything at first. He sat down on the sand next to Helkas and handed him a drink and a bar. The drink was just some orange juice, and the bar was some sort of chocolate caramel thing. Elkay glanced around a bit, then eventually spoke.
“You seemed unable to focus in today’s Decayling lesson.”
“Yeah, I know. Sorry.”
Elkay tutted. “You do not need to apologise. Everyone has days where they cannot focus. But you were particularly unfocused today, almost fidgety and concerned, and I wanted to check on you and see if you are alright, if you are just tired or if something is bothering you.”
Helkas looked up at Elkay. “You are not angry at me?”
“Why would I be angry at you?” Elkay asked back. “I am concerned about you, yes, but I definitely am not angry. You often seem to think we are angry at you for some reason or another.”
Helkas took a deep breath, trying to organise his thoughts. He took a sip of the drink, then sighed.
“Is something wrong?” Elkay asked. “Have we done something wrong?”
“No, no… You have all been so super nice to me. But sometimes I wonder if I deserve that kindness.”
“Of course you deserve kindness.”
“I was a death god.”
Elkay shrugged. “So? You were not one of those evil “I kill everyone and make them suffer” gods, you just guided spirits from one life to the next. Arkay was a death god too, but in our universe, we had no afterlife, Arkay just tried to make sure that we died without suffering, that our bodies would decay and that something better would grow from our remains. There is nothing wrong or evil about that, in universes where death was a constant.”
Helkas settled down. “You have a point, I guess. I wasn’t an evil death god, I was just doing my duties in servitude to mummy and her universe.”
“Is that all that is bothering you?” Elkay asked.
“Eh… I dunno… I also just feel… annoyed at myself because everything is good and I feel sad.”
Elkay shrugged and put an arm around Helkas. “I know exactly how you feel. I should be overjoyed, I am happily married and live a good life, but sometimes the chemicals in my brain just make me sad for no reason. You are definitely not alone there, because we are not perfect beings, we are wild animals with higher thoughts and sometimes parts of our brains clash and make us feel weird. Your bout of sadness is not that different from being suddenly tired or irritable or horny.”
“That makes sense, I guess…” Helkas sighed. “Still, I’ve had this constant underlying weird feeling that something bad is gonna happen and I can’t work it out.”
Elkay stuttered briefly, then sighed as well. “Has it been since Arkay went off on that mission?”
“Yeah… How do you know?”
“I… I have had a similar feeling of unease that I cannot explain. Something Synaisthyn-y. I do not know what it is but it is making me feel uncertain and uneasy and I too have been struggling with it.”
“You… you have?” Helkas was surprised. “But you seem normal and happy and stuff.”
“I am just very adept at hiding how I truly feel. Plus, I am a Rethan, we are a naturally stoic race.”
“Is it the same feeling I have? Like, something wants to hurt me? Not because I have done something wrong but because someone is angry at my existence and blames me for something completely out of my control?”
Elkay thought for a moment. “Hm. Maybe not exactly that… but I can see where you are coming from. I wonder if we are getting a very fuzzy future flash about someone or something targetting Synaisthyns. Or maybe someone is plotting to attack one specific Synaisythyn, and because we are all somewhat connected, we feel it all at the same time.”
“Do you ever get that with mister Arkay?”
Elkay nodded. “I have had that feeling a few times. Nothing has ever come from it, but that is because Arkay and I sat down together and discussed things and worked things out.”
“Do you think Arkay feels the same way we do right now?”
Elkay blinked, then fell silent. After a moment, he rubbed his head. “Actually, now you mention it, that might be exactly why we are feeling weird. Arkay might be feeling anxious and he might be unintentionally projecting that onto us.”
“Oh… When is mister Arkay coming back?”
“Tomorrow, most likely. When he comes back, we should sit down and discuss things with him. Maybe he is worried about something, and the same way we are talking to each other might help Arkay feel better as well.”
Helkas perked up a little bit. “That sounds like a good idea! Plus I like spending time with mister Arkay. He is very nice. You are very nice too, but you are married.”
Elkay grunted. “That is sweet, but that is also you being a horny teenager.”
“I… do kinda need some help with that though… I know I am… paradoxically too young though…”
“Well…” Elkay shrugged. “I do not have any ideas right now, but when we discuss things tomorrow with Arkay, maybe we can work on a few other things as well. Us Synaisthyns have to stick together, after all.”
“Yeah, definitely…” Helkas paused for a second. “In the mean time though, can we, like, go and get ice cream? That always makes me feel better.”
Elkay patted Helkas on the shoulder, then helped him to his feet. “Of course, dear. That is a great idea…”