Periuniversal Restaurant Date

“Hello, young ones! How can I help you?” Letyin, the elderly Beh’en guard and assistant, smiled as he watched the Flame and the Psion approach the information kiosk. These two beings did confuse Letyin a little, since they were clearly not from around here, what with them both openly showing their elemental affinities, but they seemed like a couple of cute adolescent Beh’ens who hadn’t grown their crowns of horns in yet.

Really, the Beh’ens in general were an odd species. A formerly mortal race uplifted by a group of Life Goddesses, the majority of them were removed from this sector and trained into Divine Guardians, to protect them as they worked. Some of them though had formed a Decay Lord sect a long time ago and were busy waging a war on the local Voidborn armies that used to plague the surrounding sectors. The war had come to a stalemate, but it did keep a lot of pressure off other groups. Letyin just assumed that these two were fresh new Divine Guardian recruits (hadn’t been any of those for a while) on their first social trip outside of the Protection Schools.

“Hello dear,” the Psion smiled cheerfully, despite having a slightly unsettling aura about him. “The guards at the entrance said we might be able to pick up some, and I quote, ‘goodies’, for being Deathven-aligned Decay Lords.”

“Ahhh!” Letyin beamed. “You are with the Phantai? They get a little discount on some stuff!”

The Flame grunted. “Hmph. We are not Phantai.”

“Oh… Either way…” Letyin tapped on the screen of the info kiosk, bringing up the relevant menu. “Type in your code name and stuff, hit the shiny button and the kiosk will give you a band that will give you the relevant discounts!”

The Psion continued to smile and went first. Letyin noticed they weren’t actually touching the screen, they were using tiny puffs of telekinetic energy to type things in. They seemed somewhat surprised when the screen accepted their details, showed several confetti animations and the kiosk spat out a gold paper wristband and a paper flyer with a list of discounts on it. The Flame quickly did the same thing and was also given a gold wristband and a flyer.

Letyin eyed the two beings who were obviously high rank Decay Lords. They seemed way, way too small and young.

“I assume this is a good thing, yes?” the Flame asked.

Letyin nodded. “You must be upper-ups. You get lots of goodies.”

“Well, thank you very much!” the Psion beamed, taking the Flame by the hand and dragging them away. “Have a nice day!”

“You too!” Letyin waved at the nice couple as they disappeared. Once they were gone, Letyin went back to his normal guard duty, forgetting either of them had existed.

Litvir took Retvik somewhere slightly quieter, out of sight of any staff or people in general. They both leaned against a wall, but Retvik could tell that Litvir seemed off as he tied his gold band around his wrist.

“Dear, is something wrong?”

“Yes…” Litvir held up the small flyer. “Their system actually recognized us as Higher Decay Lords.”

“That information IS publicly available in some way already, I assume.”

“I guess, but I do not want a target on our backs…” Litvir tutted, then briefly waved his left hand, causing a small shimmer of purple energy to float by. “We are already plotting things. I just wanted a quick moment to strengthen the forgetfulness aura cantrip I am using.”

“You are-”

“I had Eksi create an aura the moment we got here. Mostly to give Phovos some space since I do not know what the locals are like.”

Retvik grunted. He turned off the flames that ran up his body, grunted at the missing armour plating on his arms, then put on the gold paper band. “That is… fair…” He turned his attention to the flyer. “Huh. We get… These are some very big discounts… Alright we are going to what I assume is a fancy restaurant. 90% off is insane.”

Litvir finished his cantrip, then also scanned his own flyer. “Clearly they want Decay Lord business here or something. Or at least they want business from Deathven-aligned beings, since Deathven seems to have an infinite supply of money… Oh! A free 30 minute massage!”

“As much as that sounds nice, if we get the massage, will you telepathically admit some Light-damned secret of yours to me again?”

Litvir eyed Retvik, then sighed. “I can admit the Light-damned secret now, if you prefer.”

“Is it that you are a Kaldieridos? Because I worked it out not too longer after you told me you murdered your mother.”

Retvik smiled, took Litvir’s hand and started walking, browsing the shops as he did so and ignoring how Litvir was angrily staring at him.

“I mean, it was pretty obvious. You said you had far too many siblings, that some of them were actual physical monsters and that you killed your own mother. A whole massive family of monsters, inside and out. That perfectly describes the Kaldieridoi. Also, Kaldynik is such an obscure surname that I assumed you had made it up or something to cover your tracks because you were too proud to take a common surname.”

This first level was mostly just super markets and larger stores selling commercial goods like furniture, DIY stuff, technology (a lot of TVs), weaponry and security services. Multiple elevators and escalators went up and down between each floor, and a large sign informed Retvik what was above them. The second level was mostly armour, clothing, jewellery and body items like makeup and soaps, the third floor was filled with more random shops (just labelled ‘assorted stores’) while the fourth floor was all just entertainment, with an arcade and more. The fifth level had been reserved for restaurants, and that was where Retvik wanted to take Litvir first.

There was a lift nearby, which they both headed to. Luckily, the doors were already open and they could just step inside. It took a little too long for them to reach the fifth level, which was rather quiet. The restaurants were definitely open, but since there were no regular day or night cycles (or even really days in general), it meant most beings just ate whenever they were hungry, rather than sitting down at specific times.

“So, what do you fancy?”

Litvir was still clearly angry, but he took a deep breath, not wanting to spoil what was supposed to be a well-earned break. After all, Litvir had definitely earned it with all the emergency Voidborn telepathic influence he had been removing lately.

There were fifteen restaurants total, but a lot of them seemed to be serving food that neither Litvir nor Retvik recognized. Retvik glanced back at the flyer, trying to see which ones had discounts, then picked the one with the biggest discount that also looked the nicest. This led them both to a small restaurant at the very end, decorated in red and white picnic table-like patterns, with blue wooden beams and an overall beach theme. There was not a single soul present apart from a single, somewhat mechanical, humanoid being. It looked a bit like a Lanex, but Retvik recognized them to be a Melek-Glatoran, a member of another race often used by Life Goddesses as Divine Guardians.

“Hello!” The being seemed to smile but it was impossible to tell. “Seating for two?”

“Yes please,” Retvik smiled back. “Is it just you who works here?”

“Mhm! You can call me Norik! Would you like to sit in the front, at the back or by the pool?”

Retvik shrugged. “By the pool sounds nice.”

Norik grabbed two food menus and two drink menus, then led Retvik and Litvir inside, past an empty bar absolutely covered in bright bottles, to what was a small, blue pool with several small waterfalls trickling into it, with some shimmering, glass-like fish flittering around. There were signs which said no swimming, it was clearly there for ambience, but it was nice. Norik pulled out the chairs, which, thankfully, were designed with large, thick tails in mind, sat the two Rethans down then disappeared briefly, returning with a large jug of ice water and two glasses.

“Do you want to browse and order now or do you want some time?” Norik asked.

“Can we have a few minutes please?”

“Of course…” Norik paused, spotting the gold bands. “Uh, how do you want me to refer to you?”

“You can call me Retvik, and this here is my partner Litvir. No need for any ceremony here.”

Norik bowed, then disappeared again. Litvir tutted, then inspected the menus.

“What?”

“We are supposed to be keeping low and you just told that waiter our names.”

“I am pretty sure that one nice waiter is not going to throw a spanner in the works for us…” Retvik looked at the drinks menu first, searching for something he recognized. Luckily, there were definitely some things that looked drinkable, and handy pictures were laid out next to each drink. It turned out, even in the Space Between Universes, there were a finite number of ways to produce tasty beverages, and Retvik’s favourite alcoholic drink, mead, seemed almost too common out here. And, thankfully, it seemed relatively cheap as well. “I fancy a mead, do you mind if I drink?”

Litvir tutted again. “Do what you want. I do not know what any of this is.”

Retvik paused, then glanced at the food menu. Again, there were pictures, but they were all of what looked like rather hideous fish and crustaceans.

“It is clearly seafood, dear.”

“Some very ugly-looking seafood…”

“Are you not hungry?”

“I am a little hungry but I do not know what any of this is.”

“No, me neither, but I assume it is just space seafood.”

Yet again, Litvir tutted, nudging his menu to one side. “Just pick something. I do not care.”

Retvik snorted, his eyes still scanning the menu. Luckily, there was a small selection of platters, which contained a myriad of things. Retvik could tell that Litvir was vaguely concerned about the price and didn’t want to order something he didn’t like. However, they were getting a 75% discount on everything and the prices looked reasonable, so Retvik decided to be adventurous and just pick what looked nice.

As if on cue, Norik returned with a pad and pen. “Are you ready to order?”

Retvik nodded, then pointed at the menu, showing Norik what he wanted. He chose a handful of items: a platter for two, as well as what looked like a serving of lobster, something called “super special garlic butter sauce” and what was clearly a plate of chips with some sort of cheese melted on top. To make sure they were getting something that was definitely edible, Retvik also ordered a second plate of chips without anything on them, as well as four drinks – two bottles of orange flavoured mead and two glasses of the local brand of caramel soda.

Norik smiled then disappeared again, taking their order with them. Literally ten seconds later, he returned, placed down the drinks and disappeared again.

“You seem angry, Litvir.”

Litvir took a deep breath. “I am angry. You figured out I am even more of a monster than I say I am. I am a damn Kaldieridos, the worst of Rethan kind, and I certainly acted like it.”

Retvik reached across the table, putting his hand on top of Litvir’s. “What happened to us letting go of our mortal pasts? You cannot help who your mother was, no one has any choice in their heritage. Yes, the Kaldieridoi were horrible, but that was only because Siona Kaldieridos was an utterly horrible being who laid eggs and handed them to evil scientists to twist and corrupt them. But there is one silver lining, that monster did make one single good thing.”

Litvir leaned forward, almost snarling. “What in the name of the Light are you on about?”

“Siona made you. Well, he made Kuta too. But mostly you.”

“Oh fuck off.”

Retvik laughed a little. “I understand the anger, but you cannot deny the fact that you are not completely bad. Your problem is that you find yourself blinded by the shining beacon of perfection that I am and forget that you have done good too. And, if our silly little plan works, we will do even more good together.”

Retvik’s motivational speech was interrupted by the appearance of food. Way too much food. The main platter, to be shared between them both, covered most of the table, and consisted of various fried crustacean-like creatures of different shapes and sizes, long, spindly, sautéed invertebrate legs, as well as a selection of shells filled with some sort of fishy meat and a thick, white sauce. On top of this, what looked like a very large lobster tail had been placed on top, split down the middle, revealing a marbled mixture of white, purple and pink flesh. Retvik felt kinda bad having ordered what seemed to be a more normal, smaller lobster tail as well, which was white and red and had been placed to one side, covered in a sweet and spicy sauce. Also present were the two plates of chips, one coated in what Retvik now realized was actually spicy cheese, and a very large bowl of garlic-stinking sauce. How Norik had managed to bring everything out in one go on his own, Retvik and Litvir weren’t sure.

“Do you need anything else?” Norik asked.

“Uh…” Litvir’s eyes darted across the table. “Do you use cutlery to eat this?”

“Typically no, but I can bring some if you want.”

“Oh. No. It is fine.”

“Alright! Enjoy your meal, friends!” Norik waved as he disappeared yet again.

Neither Rethan spoke at first, not really sure where to start. Eventually, Litvir took one of the plain chips, dipped it in the garlic sauce and awkwardly nibbled the end. Immediately, his eyes lit up. Litvir put the chip down, then picked up what he thought may have been some sort of prawn, awkwardly peeled it, then shoved it into the garlic dip and ate the seafood in a couple of bites.

“Oh wow. This is very tasty. Also I may need more of this sauce.”

Retvik smirked as he helped himself to some shellfish. “Heh. You have perked up already.”

“Hm. Yes. I apologise for being grumpy.”

“It is not a problem, dear.”

Litvir put everything down, then looked awkwardly at Retvik. “I, uh… I love you, Retvik.”

Retvik glanced back and smiled. “I love you too, Litvir.”

The two Rethans fell silent, not really sure what else to say.

“Hm. We should probably start eating before this goes cold…” Litvir eventually muttered.

“Indeed, there is a lot of food here!” Retvik beamed as they both started stuffing their faces.