Bedroom Offer

“Hey, you busy?”

Arkay grunted as he wiped spit from his mouth, then reached for a towel to clean his face. That was the third time he had thrown up horrible gold ooze and now he was getting a little concerned.


Standing by the door was Kalis, the little half-Life Goddess that had saved Arkay’s life, after Arkay kinda convinced him to save his own life. Kalis and Arkay were very similar beings, but it seemed, without damaging Voidborn influence, Kalis was much more Life-Goddess-y than Arkay was.

“Kinda, yeah…” Arkay sighed, turning round to greet Kalis. “Not feeling particularly good.”

Kalis’s mood dropped slightly. “Oh. That’s… a shame…”

“How comes?” Arkay went back to clearing himself up. According to the samples they’d tested, the gold ooze was mostly just vast amounts of fine, gold powder suspended in mucus from Arkay’s own internal organs, but he still felt awful every time he spewed some more up.

“Well, uh…” Kalis seemed more nervous now, hopping from one foot to the other. “I… okay, I’m going to be really blunt and get straight to the point. I was wondering if you’d like to have sex with me.”

Immediately, Arkay dropped his towel and turned to Kalis. “What?”

“I’ll… take that as a no.”

Arkay stuttered, trying not to seem offensive. “No, it’s… not that… Your, uh, proposition kinda caught me by surprise. Not many people have asked me to have sex with them. Except Yisini. But she asks everyone to have sex with her.”

“Is she your Life Serpent sister?”


Kalis visibly shuddered, sitting down on the bed next to Arkay. “I… I can see why you’d hesitate then. I gave into her constant begging once. I never heard the end of it, because how dare I be the female in a relationship. Although they probably would have abused me anyway if I’d fucked her instead. I suppose you can relate…”

“Well… uh…” Arkay hesitated. He was reluctant to be so open with Kalis. But considering how Kalis had opened up to him, what was the worst that could happen? “Honestly… I can’t relate. I’ve… never had sex with anyone.”

“You haven’t?”

“Yeah… I kinda was told that I’d kill anyone I fell in love with. The handful of beings I did love were taken from me, or, worse, murdered, their bodies sealed in diamond as a permanent reminder that I’m not allowed to be in love. Any attempts to reach out were met with mockery and it’s left me stunted ever since.”

Kalis frowned. “That sucks.”

“What sucks even more is that, even though I’m free from those assholes and have two beautiful Decay Lords by my side, who care and understand me and want me to be happy… Still can’t bring myself to do it.”

“Ah…” Kalis trailed off. “So I take it you don’t want to sleep with me.”

“Friend, I can barely sleep with myself.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“I… I totally get that…” Kalis eventually sighed. “Seems like we both got completely fucked over. More metaphorically for you, but still…”

The two beings fell silent, both staring at the floor. After a moment, Kalis glanced at Arkay, then immediately faced the floor again.

“I don’t think I should be here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just had… some really, really awful thoughts. Thoughts of abuse…” Kalis lowered his voice. “Abuse towards you. I think Theocydes did more damage to me than I… would like to admit.”

Arkay blinked in confusion. “I don’t follow. Were you thinking of… hurting me?”

“Sadly, yeah… Just briefly, but still…” Kalis got up and made his way to the door. “I’m gonna go speak to your Decay Lord boss, maybe he can make some recommendations.”

“Do you want me to-”

“No, no…” Kalis tutted. “I need to sort myself out. Sorry for bothering you…”