Relkir’s Worries

Ever since the meeting with Kinisis, where everyone had managed to get a few questions answered, things had mostly calmed down. More than that, everyone had very quickly warmed up to each other, no longer that bothered about them all being different. The differences were only on the surface, and everyone was being friendlier than normal. Sure, they had been separated from their old lives, but those previous existences were mostly fond memories, which the Guardians all shared with each other. An overall feeling of joy now permeated the ship, and everyone was much more relaxed.

Everyone except Relkir.

While everyone else had been somewhat calm and at peace with their lost pasts, Relkir had been oddly aggressive and secretive. Whenever he was off duty, he would keep to himself, skulking in the shadows, desperately trying to stay away from everyone else. While Relkir had seemed normal whenever Kinisis was present, as soon as she was gone, he would hide away again.

At first, no one was really that bothered. Relkir wasn’t ever the most outspoken of the Twelve, and even before they’d learned about their pasts, Relkir had always been a bit quiet. It wasn’t until Relkir had suddenly stormed off in the middle of dinner, while Vexer, Atteh’Kus and Fragiir had been loudly talking about leaderships and ranks, that everyone realized something was wrong.

Of course, Teekay was the one who had to deal with Relkir. After all, he was apparently the Guardian who knew Relkir the best.

Teekay at least knew where Relkir had slipped off to. The ship wasn’t particularly large, but despite his size, Relkir was a weirdly slippery being, and would often hide in little nooks and crannies in the maintenance rooms across the ship. Teekay just needed to check each nook and cranny in turn.

Luckily, Teekay’s search didn’t last long. Relkir was hiding underneath a boiler, that provided clean, drinkable water. Teekay stood in the doorway, tutting.

“What is wrong with you?”

Relkir snarled at first, curling up into a ball.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what the fuck your problem is. Everyone else is fine. Even Phovos is fine, But you’re acting like a little bastard. What. Is. Wrong?”

“Everything… Everything is wrong… My name is not even Relkir. It is Elkay. I was a Rethavok. But not a normal one. I was their leader. And I abandoned them. I abandoned them to protect a goddess who destroyed her own universe. All I can think about is that I am a horrible monster.”

Teekay frowned, not really sure how to reply. “You… are feeling guilty?”

“Yes. You are all happy and at ease. I feel like a miserable failure. I do not want to be around you because I will let you down.”

With a shrug, Teekay made his way into the maintenance room, leaning down so he could touch Relkir.

“You’re kinda already letting us down by skulking around like some sort of mindless animal and being a little bitch.”

Relkir sighed. “I know. I cannot live with myself. Between the truth and the lies, I cannot stand it.”

“What lies?”

“None of… the information, anything I was given… made sense. I do not know who I am or what I was. I cannot stand not knowing what is real and what is not. I do not know. And I hate it.”

Teekay sat down beside Relkir, gently patting his hand. “There’s not much you can do about it. But maybe things are better off now. Sure, it’s weird and confusing, but at least life is simple. We’re godly beings with one task, to protect a Life Goddess on her travels, with everything we could ever want.”

“I… I… I guess?” Relkir stuttered. “It just… does not feel right.”

“Yeah but we’ll get used to it. It’s really not that bad out here. Just need to get into the swing of things and get over our dead pasts. They’re all gone now, there is nothing we can do about any of it, so we might as well just make the most of what we have. And what we have is a lot, all things considered.”

Relkir sighed, feeling foolish. He moved away from the boiler, into Teekay’s arms.

“I am sorry for being such a massive asshole…” Relkir finally admitted. “I was wrong. I should have been more accepting. Less overbearing. Friendlier.”

“It’s alright…” Teekay smiled, hugging Relkir back. “Sometimes our emotions get to us. Now come on, let’s get out of this stuffy room and go get some ice cream or something, before Kinisis needs us working again…”