Romance Between Gods

Arkadin rarely visited the domain of his sister Yisini. They were opposites, she was life, he was death, so he never felt welcome. It wasn’t that they didn’t get along, they did, the issue was that he didn’t want to accidentally hurt the wonderful flora and fauna scattered around the shimmering tower Yisini called home. That was why he was hovering ten centimetres off the ground. Not that it made that much difference though, considering how big everything was compared to him.

For some reason, Arkadin swore he could hear giggling. He wasn’t really paying attention though, doing his best to avoid stray vines and branches. The giggling got louder as he approached the shimmering tower which Yisini normally sat on.

Today though, there were two goddesses on top of the tower. Yisini was lying on top of Epani, the Goddess of Space, Yisini’s massively long tail coiled around Epani’s sleek, sea-monster-like body.

“Uh… I came at a bad time, didn’t I?”

Yisini glanced at Epani and grinned. Epani snarled, in a “don’t you dare make a pun” sort of way. Yisini loosened her grip as Epani wriggled away and disappeared in a shower of star dust.

“Yep… I came at a really bad time…” Arkadin tutted as he turned to leave. Yisini though seemed not at all phased and had leaped off the top of her tower, blocking his path.

“Doesn’t matter. We can resume that later. You could join us, if you wanted!” The Allbirther beamed with excitement and joy. “I’d love that. Heck, if we could get the four of us all together to have a massive or-”

“Please, Yisini, I… I don’t want to think about that…” Arkadin sighed. “I… Well… It’s complicated. Maybe too complicated to talk to you about. And too subtle.”

Yisini twisted round, still smiling like a lunatic. “You are horny.”

“I’m not horny. You’re the horny one.”

“I am!” The Allbirther was being a pain in the backside. Arkadin knew he was basically wasting his time here. There were others he could talk to. But Yisini wanted him to stick around and was now playfully biting Arkadin’s tail. “Yisini, fucking seriously?”

“I’m horny.”

“I fucking noticed!” Arkadin was pissed off now. He pulled his tail away, being careful not to actually hurt Yisini. “You were… You were fucking your own sister!”

“We’re not sisters.”

“Yes you are!”

“We’re gods. It doesn’t matter.”

“It’s incest!”

“So? I’ve slept with Kairos as well.”

“It’s multiple cases of incest!” Arkadin was shouting now. “How long have you been…”

“About 13 billion years.”

“But we’re…”

Yisini patted Arkadin on the head. “Excuse me, dear, but you’re the only one out of the four of us who wants to be a virgin for all eternity!”


“And anyway, you’re basically doing it anyway if you sleep with anything, since I created all life!”

The Allbirther hissed, shaking her tail. She then slithered around Arkadin, grinning again.

“You don’t even know how to have sex anyway. You WILL be a virgin forever. Which annoys me, because I think everything should procreate at least once. Even gods like us. Kinisis and Kenon created us, we should create further life. Passing it all downwards. We’ll die alongside this universe but our children will create a new one, yes? Well, no thanks to you. You’ll kill everything. The way I see it? Procreating with my fellow gods is the only way out of the hellhole you are dragging us all into. Then again, maybe it’s for the best that you remain cold, lonely and friendless.”

Arkadin’s shoulders dropped as he stepped over Yisini’s tail. “If I had known that you were going to verbally abuse me, I wouldn’t have come here, looking for advice…”

Yisini immediately changed her tone. “You wanted advice? On how to not be cold and lonely? Why-”

“I’ll go ask someone else,” Arkadin tutted as he walked off. “You go back to fucking your sister.”