Some Sort of Job Review

“Good evening everyone, and welcome to our first review!”

Epani was a much, much smaller being than she used to be. The Panelix used to sail through space, overshadowing planets and capable swallowing moons. But ever since she took control of this tiny slice of her old universe, Epani had shrunk down to better match her new home’s size. This of course meant that her fellow deities towered over her, even when they had shrunk down to fit inside her crystal palace, located in the centre of the new Epanokiniseon universe.

That name was a bit of a mouthful. Epani was working on a better name, but at least the name clarified that it was Kinisis’s universe and now it was hers.

“A review? What do you mean by that?” Kenon grumbled as he fidgeted uncomfortably on a quartz stool. “Are you reviewing us?”

Epani nodded, looking very tiny in her large, long, crystal throne. “I am. I believe this is a fine opportunity to go over what we have done so far, and whether we can move onwards and begin to expand. Now, I want to talk to each of you in turn and discuss what is going on.”

Yisini raised her hand eagerly. “Can I go first?”

The Panelix nodded. With a flick of her weird, fin-like hand, a stack of papers appeared, with badly scribbled notes on them.

“Yisini, I am perfectly happy with your work. While you haven’t made much progress on your work towards sustainable immortality for all sapient beings, you are doing your best, especially since you are now hindered by a lack of a death god to work with. Keep up the good work.”

The Allbirther clapped her hands together with glee. Epani waved her fin, signalling for Yisini to settle down, before turning to Kairos.

“Kairos, I am mostly satisfied with your work, but I would like you to come to a decision on whether you are staying or not. While I am fine with you going out and spending time with Decay Lords and Life Goddesses, I want you to give me a schedule, so I know when I can and can’t call you. Or at the very least arrange things so I can call on your little assistant if I need to.”

The Whenvern nodded calmly. “That is perfectly fair.”

Epani nodded back, before turning to Kenon. The smile on her long, toothed snout had faded.

“As for you, Kenon… I am not particularly happy with your work so far.”

“I thought I was going pretty well, personally,” Kenon tutted. “Please, do enlighten me.”

Epani sighed, tapping her fins together. “Please keep in mind, Kenon, that you being allowed to both stay in this universe and remain alive is a courtesy I made to Kinisis, not you. I can revoke both conditions at any time.”

Kenon frowned, backing down. Being a Voidborn and knowing what it was like ‘out there’, he really did not want to be kicked out. “Very well…”

The Panelix smiled again, still tapping her fins. “While you are doing somewhat well in not actually killing anyone, I am not too happy with your current methods. You need to be creating a utopia for everyone, not just the species you like.”

“I am trying, Epani, but they do not want to conform.”

“Then offer them better incentives.”

“But they need to have a place in our perfect union. They cannot just sit on their tails with no duties.”

“Why not?” Yisini asked. “I mean, we have the means to, well, automate a ton of crap, right? We can make nearly unlimited resources, even in this tiny universe. And even then, you can still convince-”

“I have tried convincing them. I have offered them plenty!” Kenon interrupted.

“Yeah, but have you offered them just enough to survive, or a chance to live comfortably while doing a basic job?” Yisini shrugged. “There’s a massive difference.”

Kenon fell silent. “I… I see where I was wrong.”

Epani and Yisini both smiled, glad to have humbled the Void Lord.

“Well, now that our misunderstanding has been cleared up, I think it is time for us all to go back to work!” Epani clapped her fins together. “Get going, my dears!”

Kairos and Kenon both disappeared in puffs of smoke, but Yisini remained, looking both pleased yet… longing.

“Is something wrong, Yisini?” Epani asked.

“Yeah. I was wondering if… I could stick around here for a bit?”

“Why?”

Yisini’s tail coiled shyly around her. “I’m lonely and I miss you.”

“Oh?” Epani floated off from her throne and drifted towards Yisini. “Then why did you not say so?”

“Eh, we’ve been busy.”

Epani frowned, but that frown quickly faded. “Well, let us make up for it now…”