Tale – A Bad Hangover

“Gaaaaaath..?” Retvik shouted and instantly regretted it. He had a horrible headache and was just making it worse. He had tried going for a walk to calm his aching skull, but his trip outside had only left him feeling awkward and confused.

“What?” Gath shouted from the kitchen, where he was making a standard hangover meal – fried meat sausages, mashed starchy potatoes and a ton of gravy.

“Why are there Thanatians randomly fucking everywhere?” Retvik lowered his voice. “I went for a walk and there were four Thanatians going at it in a bush.”

Gath shrugged, then drained a large pot of potatoes, ready to mash them up. Before he did so, he added a spoon of onion powder, some sort of milk, a lump of salt and some butter. “What day is it?”

“Friday, I think.”

“What date is it?”

Retvik stumbled down the stairs. “Gath, next time I say I am going to drink my sorrow away, please tell me I am an idiot and stop me from going out.”

“I will,” Gath smiled as he checked the clock on his wristband. “It’s April 14th. Not any date I am familiar with… Wait, was everything shut?”

Retvik tutted. “No, just the Thanatian places.”

A look of realization washed across Gath’s face. “Oooooooh…”


“It is Ostaire.”

“What?” Retvik repeated himself.


“I am going to keep on saying what until you make sense.”

Gath smiled. “The date is always around spring. It is a fertility holiday. Celebrated with open sex.”

Retvik blinked. “How comes I have not noticed? I have been living here for several years now!”

Gath shrugged and started making the mash. “They are not normally so open. But still, it is an opportunity for easy sex…” Gath trailed off, going back to his cooking. Retvik poured himself a glass of cold water and sat down at the table.

“Seems weird.”

“We still celebrate Macromera despite no longer being sun worshippers.”

“True…” Retvik sighed, then gulped down his drink. The cold water went straight to his head, making Retvik reel back and reach for some pain killers.

Gath glanced at Retvik and smiled, carrying over two large plates of food. He placed one in front of Retvik then sat down next to him with his own breakfast. Retvik looked down at his plate, the sausages and mash were arranged in rude shapes. The silliness of the dish made him grin.

“Eat up, dear,” Gath smiled. “You need to eat if you want your hangover to go away and if you want those pain killers to work. And if you want to keep your strength up.”

“You implying something?” Retvik snickered.


“Well, I… kinda have a headache…”

Gath shrugged, then picked up a sausage, dipped it in the mash and gravy, then sucked on it, before biting the end off.

“You are making it really obvious. I should remind you that Tenuk is coming round later…”

Gath’s smile faded. “Really?”

“Well, I can always put him off…” Retvik grinned as he took a bite out of a sausage. “It is a day of fertility, after all…”